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Icarus_Falling
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26 Feb 2008, 6:50 pm

My low/medium functioning autistic son loves hugs, craves them, constantly asks for them; he loves to be squeezed tight.

He also uses them as a way to wiggle out of trouble. An actual conversation between my son and his mom from a few days ago:

Son's mom: [wanting her purse, which contains a rice crispy snack] "Wolf, can you bring me my purse?"

[Wolf goes and get's purse, and comes back looking very guilty.]

Son's mom: [searching through purse] "Where's my rice crispy treat!"

Wolf: [having nicked the treat and now being caught, arms out] "Hugs!"

As for myself, I'm one of those, "Don't f*****g touch me!" kind of people, with very few exceptions made for specific individual people (my son being on the short list).

Good fortune,

- Icarus is a porcupine...


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ebec11
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26 Feb 2008, 6:52 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
I love to give hugs, and I also love to receive them. I especially like it, when I hug with an overweight person. I also like to cuddle, as well. Is is unusual for someone with AS to be as affectionate, as I am? :O)
I LOVE giving hugs, but I can't get another person hugging me. I'm not in control, so it shocks me. If somebody asks, I'm good, but when people randomly hug me, I get scared!



Tempy
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26 Feb 2008, 7:01 pm

I cant stand being touched by strangers, but id be pressed skin to skin against my gf all day long if that was possible. I sleed almost under her.



Mikomi
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26 Feb 2008, 9:01 pm

CockneyRebel, I love hugs too. Unless I am overstimulated. My husband, who is typically much less outwardly affectionacte than I am, also enjoys affection when he is not overstimulated. So no, I don't think it is uncommon. Oh, my kids too. On their own terms, they very much love hugs.


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shivanataraja
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26 Feb 2008, 9:53 pm

I hated being touched by anyone as a child, but started liking it (not in a sexual way, i didn't develop a sexuality until something like 5 years later) around puberty.

Now i like hugs from friends, but being really skinny i feel kind of awkward hugging people who are also thin... tho i don't think this applies only to me, with one friend who used to be really skinny but has "filled out" recently (and sees that as a good thing), i've noticed how she's also got much better at hugging in the process :)

I also find it quite difficult to know exactly when a friend is a close enough friend for hugging to be "allowed"... tho a precedent usually seems to be set when someone is either very drunk or going away for a long time...

The one thing that does feel really creepy/unpleasant is hugging other men... although that's probably part of my general misandry issues...



gekitsu
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26 Feb 2008, 10:16 pm

coming to think of it... i prefer, judging from the physical part only, the feeling of slim to the degree of skinny people in a hug. the tight feel of a body that has seen some training is very nice, too. i know im a little offbeat in my tastes here, but i do quite like to see a little muscle on a girl - not to the degree of obliterating everything female, but seeing a little muscle slide under the skin in movement is ... i dont know, thats one of the few moments of absolute beauty to me.

thats not meant to be derogatory or something, but i tend to find that a certain amountof body fat and over takes away from the feeling of the "body underneath" that i very much like. its a tightrope act - not enough body fat will result in a lot of bony edges to avoid, but just enough puts some nice unifying touches to the core masses of the body.



gbollard
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26 Feb 2008, 10:52 pm

Gekitsu wrote:
thats not meant to be derogatory or something, but i tend to find that a certain amountof body fat and over takes away from the feeling of the "body underneath" that i very much like. its a tightrope act - not enough body fat will result in a lot of bony edges to avoid, but just enough puts some nice unifying touches to the core masses of the body.


Not derogatory at all.

Evidence that different people like different things.

I'm not so turned on by muscle, I prefer softer/cuddlier curves. I'm not a fan of boniness - but I'm sure there'll be some out there.

Ladies (and Gents) should take heart from this; whatever your body shape, appearance etc... there is someone out there for everyone.



Jeyradan
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26 Feb 2008, 11:41 pm

I like hugs from the few people that I am okay having touch me. From anyone else: no touching, hugs or otherwise. Also: not if I am overstimulated or upset.
And just a question - why do guys do proper, firm hugs (good for me) but women do limp sort of "arms-around-you-but-not-really-hugging" things (bad for me)?



Turtle000
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27 Feb 2008, 5:42 am

I don't hug much, but I like hugging bigger people. It feels so much nicer than hugging a skinnier person. My mom would get upset when I'd hug my grandmother and not her. I just don't like how it feels with her. I don't like feeling people's bones when I hug them.



Reyairia
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27 Feb 2008, 6:19 am

Hugs rock. :3



Grim
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27 Feb 2008, 8:10 am

I love being hugged tightly by my boyfriend, he calls me his lttle monkey. :D
I don't usually hug my parents though it doesn't feel good, but I do if they ask for a hug. I don't like it when friends hug me usually. I like shaking hands, and do not mind a hand on my shoulder for an 'affectionate pat'.
A girl I work with has a learning disability and challenging behaviour but loves hugs and I always let her hug me because she seems to find it reasuring.



Shadowbound
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27 Feb 2008, 2:34 pm

I love to give and receive hugs. It's one of the few ways I show I love someone.



MissConstrue
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27 Feb 2008, 3:07 pm

Funny thing is I don't like giving hugs but I like getting them.



29 Feb 2008, 4:18 am

I like them sometimes but most of the times I don't like them. Funny thing is I was totally unaware of this until my mother told me so that explained to me why I always felt angry inside, felt trapped, felt I had want to get away, feel like I was being held in a tight spot with something around me, and I could not stand lot of affection. I always need to be asked first for a hug and I expect it so my body isn't stiff and I don't mind them.



Sora
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29 Feb 2008, 3:23 pm

Not at all. Sometimes, yes, there are exceptions when I like them, semi-tight (because I'm afraid bones will break either in me or the other when it's a tight hug). The light half hug people do when they welcome each other is something I got used to, but real hugs that include touching with both arms and holding are somewhat gross to me often. I don't like people touching me, although I do like poking other people in the arms and shoulders. But there are exceptions, I did want hugs before on rare occasions.