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DejaQ
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27 Feb 2008, 8:51 pm

I'm taking a bit of an issue with a teacher of mine.

He constantly talks about how all of the students in my class are only there because either we're too stupid for advanced placement or because we got out of the college-sequence level on a fluke.

Well I tend to get stressed out over assignments in this guy's class, and his persistent berating of the students doesn't help.

A few weeks ago I had a big assignment in his class that I spent all night on. The next day when I had a big assignment in another class, and I kept dwelling on the previous assignment. Eventually I had a panic attack and decided to take my first sick day in two years.

I told my parents that this particular teacher had been bugging me with his harsh, accusative tone and they spoke with my guidance counselor. The counselor spoke to the teacher about talking that way without mentioning my name.

The next day, the teacher dragged me out into the hallway and told me he was visited by the guidance counselor (somehow he deduced it was me). All he said was basically "don't take it personally".

I also found out that this teacher had faced disciplinary action in the past and was almost fired, I believe, for talking to a student the wrong way (I'm not sure of the specifics - it was a parent of a former student talking).

It's been about a month and I think the teacher is just as bad, if not worse than before.

Yesterday I missed a homework assignment for his class, and when he started lecturing about how people aren't trying hard enough and slacking off on the work, I started laughing under my breath (because if I didn't I would have been crying).

Today in my first period class I realized that something he gave us must have been homework (although he didn't actually tell us). Well for the next three periods until I had his class I had my head down, crying. I had the urge to run away from school and briefly thought of suicide (not something I'd have the willpower to do, though).

The teacher keeps telling the class that if we don't do the work right and follow the rules that we won't get anywhere in life. My parents tell me that if I live it out now I'll be home free and that this guy doesn't mean anything. Somehow I buy the teacher's stance more.

I'm tired of all this stress and self-pity. How can I put up with this teacher?



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27 Feb 2008, 8:58 pm

When I have to deal with people like that I always think of it in terms of WILL IT MEAN ANYTHING IN A YEAR Or TWO FROM NOW? And if the answer is no I just let it slide. Some (not all) teachers get off on having authority over others. I would just try to calm down and do the best job I could. It's only one class and then you can forget about it. I just wouldn't sign up for another class with the same teacher.


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gbollard
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27 Feb 2008, 9:27 pm

DejaQ,

I'm sorry you have to put up with crap like that. There are good teachers and bad ones - it looks like you got a bad one.

People like this are just very very negative. If they say something really negative, take it with a pinch of salt. If they say something not very negative - they actually mean positive.

Take heart from his words to you;

Quote:
The next day, the teacher dragged me out into the hallway and told me he was visited by the guidance counselor (somehow he deduced it was me). All he said was basically "don't take it personally".


He really means it. He thinks you're a very good student. Unfortunately, this is as positive as a wholly-negative person can be.

You should feel happy with your progress because he's obviously not talking about you when he's running down the class.

Quote:
I'm tired of all this stress and self-pity. How can I put up with this teacher?


The stress and self pity are your interpretation of events. They will follow you around unless you conquer them. In that regard, it's you that needs to change, not the teacher.

Life outside of education is very, very different. I wish people had explained it to me when I was a kid. Two years out of school/university and suddenly, none of it matters anymore.

Trust me. You're doing fine. You just need to spend some time looking into a mirror and looking at your work and telling yourself how good you really are.



Arbie
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27 Feb 2008, 9:38 pm

Well look at it this way: he says that all the kids in his class are basically failures for being in it, yet he is the one stuck teaching it. What does that say about him as a teacher? Why isn't he teaching those precious ap classes instead? Maybe because he is the one who didn't do his work right or follow the rules.

No matter what any teacher, or adult says no one is a loser at your age, you are far to young to be a failure. All his talk about there being this one and only path to true success is hogwash. What does he know anyway? Did he win the genius teacher award for the year? Is he "Mr. Kreskin: Psychic Teacher", or is he just another bitter adult who likes to take out their frustrations on people who they think are weaker?

Although if anyone knows about being a failure I guess it is this guy, as he clearly is one. Take the example you gave about him not making it clear what your homework assignment was, or about how all the students in his class are doing bad. Way to motivate your students teach! :wink: Given that he is a failure, he can hardly tell others what it takes to be a success.

Your parents are right, this guy is just a drop in the bucket. Do your best to learn and pass the class in spite of your teachers attempts to stymie such efforts. When he says those nasty things just consider the source and before long the year will be over you won't have to deal with his antics any more.



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27 Feb 2008, 9:58 pm

I agree with Arbie: the guy's really bitter. Goodness knows what for, but he's being a bully because he gets away with it.

You're taking him more seriously than your parents because you're seeing a personal threat from him and not from your parents. It's your survival instinct being used against you. Learn to take your emotions back from this as*hole and you'll have one of the best bully-beating tools there is: self-control. If you're in control, no one else is. It's not easy, but it's worth the effort.

Sic 'em. :twisted:


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06 Apr 2008, 11:48 pm

You must write a letter to the administration about this teacher. If your parents wont do it, you must do it yourself. Fix what you posted here, print it out and mail it. He is emotionally abusing his students.



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06 Apr 2008, 11:50 pm

I would also suggest starting a petition, so you have other people backing you. If your class has an email list, send an email asking for them to print your letter, sign it and send it to the administration. The guidance counselor was wrong to discuss it with him personally like that. Here, if there is a complaint about a faculty member, it has to be addressed by outside administration so its not a clubhouse kind of thing



Lordnarfington
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07 Apr 2008, 9:11 am

Maybe he's not being serious, and thats how he kids around? I don't know, I'm not there to experience first hand. However, I have had people be mean and say they were just kidding before. I know some people weren't really kidding, but some are. Both can be difficult to deal with.


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DejaQ
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07 Apr 2008, 1:02 pm

Lordnarfington wrote:
Maybe he's not being serious, and thats how he kids around? I don't know, I'm not there to experience first hand. However, I have had people be mean and say they were just kidding before. I know some people weren't really kidding, but some are. Both can be difficult to deal with.


No, he's being really serious when he says those things. When he's "kidding around" he tries to put an individual on the spot.

More recently he's started yelling at us about how self-centered we are and how today's youth is troubled because it disrespects elders by not saying "Mister" or whatever. In general all the students in his class have started slacking off (one day only three people completed the assigned homework). People talk a lot in his class, and that's when he gives the "self-centered brats" talk. None of the students take him or his class seriously, and a few other junior class teachers don't seem to think too highly of him.

I tried really hard to concentrate on history in the third quarter so I wouldn't feel bad when he gives his "talks", but some of my other classes' grades slipped and now I don't feel so well about this teacher's class anymore.

And today I was sick so I'm going to have to make up a test with him! :x

nory wrote:
You must write a letter to the administration about this teacher. If your parents wont do it, you must do it yourself. Fix what you posted here, print it out and mail it. He is emotionally abusing his students.

I would also suggest starting a petition, so you have other people backing you. If your class has an email list, send an email asking for them to print your letter, sign it and send it to the administration. The guidance counselor was wrong to discuss it with him personally like that. Here, if there is a complaint about a faculty member, it has to be addressed by outside administration so its not a clubhouse kind of thing


I can't take it that far. I'm probably just overreacting. I'm a little neurotic. I don't want to ruin someone's job because I have to vent my frustration sometimes.



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07 Apr 2008, 1:43 pm

DejaQ wrote:
No, he's being really serious when he says those things. When he's "kidding around" he tries to put an individual on the spot.

More recently he's started yelling at us about how self-centered we are and how today's youth is troubled because it disrespects elders by not saying "Mister" or whatever. In general all the students in his class have started slacking off (one day only three people completed the assigned homework). People talk a lot in his class, and that's when he gives the "self-centered brats" talk. None of the students take him or his class seriously, and a few other junior class teachers don't seem to think too highly of him.


Hmm, it sounds like he's just a bad teacher. In that case I say just get through things the best you can, and don't take offense as long as he doesn't single you out for a verbal flogging. I know I had a teacher once who everyone in the class (which was only 10 of us) couldn't STAND. We coped by making fun of him behind his back. While it is a cowardly NT tactic, it is effective at gettin you through the day.


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07 Apr 2008, 5:14 pm

I don't think lecturing about people not trying hard is an issue. But saying you are "stupid" students and berating you is damaging and unconscionable. Bad teachers who do much more to harm than help students are a pet peeve of mine, more than that, an issue of mine and one that I have no sense of humor about - neither should they because the damage they can inflict on your age group or people younger is so strong. This is the age when people decide what they are going to do with their lives and where they are going to go. Many are not as strong as you and drop out or feel they are not worthy of continuing or do not belong there, since the teacher is the head of the organization and rejection from a teacher is like rejection from a parental figure. Other students, who may not have the support or emotional framework at home to support them or have already suffered rejection or condemnation in other areas of life will feel this is the last straw. This teacher will go on to tell many further generations that they are stupid and who knows how some of these students will cope.

Teachers may seem to have no respect, as many parents do these days but that does not mean they are not in a position of authority. They do not have the right to talk to you as an equal. No one in a position of authority should ever call someone stupid or question their abilities. Studies have shown that if you give a teacher an average class and tell them secretly that this is an especially advanced or 'gifted' class that teacher goes into the classroom with a whole different attitude and measure of respect and care for the students and the class becomes gifted in response. A teacher who tells a class that they are stupid and uses intimidation, like taking you out into the hallway and basically calling you on your actions, is doing just the opposite and does not deserve to be paid for it.



stevecam
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11 Apr 2008, 6:31 am

Not much you can do about this, this may be one way a teacher istrying to push the kids into learning, or maybe he just cant handle younger people, younger people are still learning to behave too, maybe he is just trying to teach you to behave
Don't think that I am standing up for the guy though, i got this by alot of teachers in high school, it was very private compared to the other schools (I mean private as in closed off from other schools, it was an indepentant school, not privatized) and there ways of teaching was very weird, compared to others, there were some things that I disliked greatly
but in the end, but in the end school is a thing you decide to go to, if you really hated school, im sure you would run a muck and get expelled any way you can

There is not much you can do about this, but you can get on with your work, if you don't have any work then find some, there might be something from another class you can do, if you really need a break then you should have the right to leave for a minute as long as your standing close to the building, I don't know how all teachers respond to this but if they want there students to learn then they need to work for there students
And you don't need school to get anywhere in life, it just makes it allot easier, firstly you have proof of your acheivements and your disciplin, and secondly you dont know everything the teacher is gonna teach you, thats what school is for

Not your fault you are taking this teacher personally, but I would just try to ignore it, theres more important things to worry about, like your schoolwork!



DejaQ
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11 Apr 2008, 5:39 pm

Yeah, he at least seems to try to be hospitable to me in private, but I still don't like his condescending attitude towards my peers. Sure, a lot of them are obnoxious, but he's in a career where he should be able to put up with all of that.