What do men look for in a woman besides her looks?

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Hmmm... Idiosyncrasies is a better description than eccentricity, though for me it might just be that I like the fact she is confident/trusting enough in me to show these parts of herself and not to have to pretend to be perfect all the time.

As for femininity I fully agree with it being a desirable characteristic and difficult to define. For me its not girliness (that's just irritating a lot of the time), its a deeper understanding of how male/female dynamics function in a relationship to complement each other, and being comfortable in that without having to compete or appear invulnerable all the time.

The biggest thing I look for though is probably quite an old-fashioned term: integrity. By this I mean someone with a sense of right and wrong and willingness to do the right thing, take my feelings into account occasionally and not (as a lot of girls I've met seemed to think) assume that its her god-given right that I buy everything for her all the time. Integrity also involves honesty, decency and treating people in general with a bit of respect (i.e. not playing men off against each other, using people, bitching about people behind their backs, dumping people for no reason etc).

Guess I sound a bit cynical but these are all things I've experienced and over the years I've got more picky about what I want as I've seen how badly a lot of these behaviours can affect people.

Honestly? They look for a bit of themselves in her. Seeing that causes a man to feel comfortable around a woman, and united to her by their natures.

By contrast, seeing no part whatsoever of himself in her will make him instinctively think it's not meant to be. The bridge between any two people is built out of common ground.

Last edited by Ragtime on 20 Mar 2008, 3:06 pm, edited 3 times in total.

I also like women that are mature for their age, but have a sense of fun and humor too. I mainly look for a woman that I can laugh and have fun with.

*snigger* which bit of them might that be then?

HA!

What I look for:

Similar interests
Is of the same religion (Christianity)
Is not lazy
Is goal- and career-oriented
Is not a total homebody (because I like outdoor activities)
Doesn't give up in a relationship when things get difficult

what'd the cannibal do after he dumped his gf?

(he wiped)

ba - da - dah

Patience.

Amen, brother.

Multiple personalities? Or just one hell of a lot of patience and tolerance. Or some other personality trait that would help them deal with my duality issues.

Less mood swing.

Or just the knowledge of self to know how to sublimate them well.

Except this... let me give you an example

Honey... I think we should save some money for vacation.

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?! ! YOU TELLING ME TO NOT BUY MY MAKE UP!?!

No I didn't say that.

(Geez!) *thought of myself

Hehehe, there's a lot more behind that one than just a mood swing - maybe 4 or 5 things that she perceptually drilled in on and based on these loose tangents she's probably made a hell of a case (especially if you said that line AS she was putting it on, putting it away, looking at a catalog). That's kind of a relationship litmus test though for both of you; if she doesn't have a reserved attitude for you and you don't have a reserved attitude for her you'll both laugh that one off. If you fight over that for the rest of the night - you're both f'ing up somehow and if the residual resentments keep growing your both better off just cutting your losses.

Yeah. Like the comedian said, the best way to end an argument is "Yes dear".

By the way, I am not married but I made up a script of one example of a fight over God know what!

Its good for a guy to also have some of his own... what did Dane Cook call them... mental ninja mines? Say something real short and profound about the situation, just off angle, but just something that has her realizing what happened, realizing that giving in to that is perilous to the health of a relationship that you both want to have succeed - hopefully you know to date women who are themselves not only high self-monitors but truly mean to constantly better themselves rather than just cover things up (almost doesn't need to be said but hopefully your showing her the same on your side).