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KimJ
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09 Mar 2008, 10:59 pm

Warning! :!: This is a rant! If you don't want your feelings hurt, you might not want to read further :!:


My son has a terrible tendency to ask questions, ask for help, ask for opinions and then either contradict or interupt so badly that you feel badly for answering. Just now, he is taking a shower with the door locked. He's screaming for "MOM!" over and over. I can't get in the bathroom, it's locked. He's yelling that there is no soap. I know for a fact there is soap and want to show him. We're bantering back and forth because he's talking and the water is blasting. I finally get him to open the door and I show him the soap bottles and he's still saying they're empty. (He won't shake them) He's still talking and I finally get mad because I can't answer his questions!
Good lord. This is after I had to quiet him to review the shower rules.
Now I had to get after him for overreacting to a squabble we had.
Bedtime! :twisted:



aurea
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09 Mar 2008, 11:24 pm

We sound like we are having the same day, just different subject mater.
J argues gets upset, I reassure him (or try to) he yells over the top of me, I wait calmly, he then yells cause he thinks he is stupid and upset me more. again I reassure nope I'm fine its ok lets do something else. No No No. more arguements. pfft we can't win.



gbollard
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10 Mar 2008, 1:14 am

Isn't it weird how bedtime approaches sooner when they misbehave....

Anyway I hope things settle soon. Remember, you can't win, the best you can hope for is to retain a few shreds of dignity.



KimJ
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10 Mar 2008, 1:22 am

No, I don't send him to bed when he misbehaves. That would be a whole other catastrophe. It was just bedtime when I finished posting and arguing with him. Poor guy fell asleep before I was done reading.



Jennyfoo
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10 Mar 2008, 1:23 am

I wish my daughter WOULD ask more questions. Instead, she will ignore a request or just act all confused and (for lack of a better word) ret*d when she doesn't understand something.

She's so quiet and loathe to ask for help that it REALLY worries me with school. FOr now she is ok, I can contact her teacher, but what happens in Jr, High and HS when it's no longer "cool" for mom to be constantly checking in.

Sorry you had a hard evening. Perhaps make a "no locked doors" rule now. LOL!



DW_a_mom
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10 Mar 2008, 12:46 pm

Do you have those locking door nobs with little holes in them so they can be popped from the other side? All of ours do, my husband insisted on it, because he once accidently locked himself inside a room with no other access as a small child, and it was hours before he was able to get out. I realize that isn't the core of the issue you were having, but every little tool you can give yourself ends up reducing frustration.


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Last edited by DW_a_mom on 10 Mar 2008, 1:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

KimJ
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10 Mar 2008, 1:06 pm

Yeah, all of our inside doors have that feature here. But it would take me longer to unlock the door than to convince my son to open it.
In another house we had an outside door in the house and yes, my then-toddler son (about 2years old) locked himself inside. My husband had to remove the door by its hinges.



DW_a_mom
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10 Mar 2008, 1:16 pm

KimJ wrote:
Yeah, all of our inside doors have that feature here. But it would take me longer to unlock the door than to convince my son to open it.
In another house we had an outside door in the house and yes, my then-toddler son (about 2years old) locked himself inside. My husband had to remove the door by its hinges.


Life can get scary, can't it?

I keep a couple of perfectly sized coated paperclips in the hallway, stowed on top of some photographs, near the doors that can lock. Um, lol, I've gotten good at unlocking from the outside.

The truth is, our kids are not supposed to be locking their doors for anything more than a few minutes at a time to change, etc. But they often lock them by mistake, or because they are mad at each other, and proper rule enforcement says that I have to unlock them.

At least your son can wash himself. I can't trust my 10 year to do it, so we have to. Fortunately, he does let us, but I can't help but feel he is too old, and I am trying to keep that duty to my husband to help him develop some sense of boundaries.

I am sorry you had a frustrating evening last night. Hopefully today goes better.


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KimJ
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10 Mar 2008, 4:27 pm

This morning, he managed to get up really early (5? or 5:30am) and want to play video games. I allow Nintendo DS (handheld) but not the Wii or Gamecube before school. He was bored by 6:30. :roll: He tried to get me mad with that interupting/banter but I just ignored him and walked away. I don't think he noticed.

I'm not sure that Pop is washing all 2000 parts, but he is standing under the water for about 20 minutes. I've threatened to wash him if he doesn't rinse the soap off or dry off enough and he is getting better. I definitely believe in privacy and trust him with locking the door. He just needs to organize better and check the soaps before he's soaking wet.



whatamess
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10 Mar 2008, 9:35 pm

Put some background relaxing music...pretty simple, huh? I know, more simple than it really is...but I can honestly say that there is something about soft music that soothes all of us...Maybe if he does this often while in the shower and he showers at night, you can start a "after dinner" we play soft music in the house...TVs allowed if you want, but with volume low...otherwise, just music...When our kiddo gets too out there, we turn off all TVs and either have nothing or soft music...it really seems to help all of us.



KimJ
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10 Mar 2008, 9:52 pm

He has music at bedtime. Music is really obsessive for me and I think it would drive me nuts if there was music on and he was up and talking. I can't handle background music at all. It's the only thing I can hear.



AS11
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12 Mar 2008, 11:08 pm

KimJ wrote:
Warning! :!: This is a rant! If you don't want your feelings hurt, you might not want to read further :!:


My son has a terrible tendency to ask questions, ask for help, ask for opinions and then either contradict or interupt so badly that you feel badly for answering. Just now, he is taking a shower with the door locked. He's screaming for "MOM!" over and over. I can't get in the bathroom, it's locked. He's yelling that there is no soap. I know for a fact there is soap and want to show him. We're bantering back and forth because he's talking and the water is blasting. I finally get him to open the door and I show him the soap bottles and he's still saying they're empty. (He won't shake them) He's still talking and I finally get mad because I can't answer his questions!
Good lord. This is after I had to quiet him to review the shower rules.
Now I had to get after him for overreacting to a squabble we had.
Bedtime! :twisted:

This sounds like our house several times a day. My 7yr AS son is very similar with how you described yours above. He can't lock the bathroom door but insists on privacy even though I know full well he won't be washing himself properly if at all.
This situation can also apply to getting dressed - morning and night - , asking for anything through out the day, putting shoes on, breakfast etc.
Often ends with him having a meltdown and me feeling like s*@# for letting it get to that stage and feeling like the most awful mother on the globe.
It's just good to know that others have the same sort of issues!



KimJ
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13 Mar 2008, 12:07 am

Yeah, as soon as I get raging mad, I realize that it's not really "good vs evil" going on. But we're just wired to blame something.

This morning Pop was dwaddling and I had to prompt him a lot to get going. Then he had to go "to the bathroom". I refrained from yelling to hurry him. But then I saw the bus leave. . . . I ran out and she just kept going. She was early. Luckily, she came back (I called transportation) but said that she had waited 3 minutes. I"m like, "right" :roll: I had my front door open and she was still early. Pop screamed bloody murder when the bus left. I'm surprised no one came out to see what was happening.

AFter it was over, I was so angry and felt like crying. Well, I did cry and it left me in a horrible mood all day. It's not so bad now. It's always something.

Yesterday I sent my son to school with an order form for his class photo (you have to give the money and form to the photographer) and no one helped him with it and it was still in his backpack. :x