Okay... need some second opinions here...

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MrSinister
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11 Mar 2008, 6:19 pm

Okay, so - a bit of background... are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin.

The other day, I go into the post office to buy a stamp for an envelope I'm going to post off in the near future. I buy said stamp, and then wander off to the post-box outside the post office to get rid of said envelope... only for the girl behind the counter to come dashing out after me because I'd forgotten to put the stamp on. She gets to me just as I'm letting go of the envelope, and then explains to me that it'll have to go without the stamp.

Next time I go into the post office, she remembers me. We have a brief little laugh and chat about the incident, where she offers to put the stamp on for me, just to make sure that it goes on.

Here's the thing, though: she's really cute and friendly, but my understanding of mating rituals is poor at best, I can't be sure whether this was simple customer service, or a sign that I should have taken the opportunity to ask for her name/phone number/favourite sexual position (well, maybe not the last one, but still...). I'd like to summon up the guts to ask her out, but I need a real reason to go into the post office (rather than just going in there and blurting it out right off the bat, which never works well).

Point is, should I even bother? I've already been feeling the urge to attempt to get to know her better being replaced by my usual desire to pull on a cowl and cape and brood on a rain-soaked rooftop, which is never a good sign. I know that "nothing ventured, nothing gained", but still... akg, I hate this whole dating malarkey. Why can't it just be "tick this box here if you like me"? :(


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Arbie
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11 Mar 2008, 6:27 pm

MrSinister wrote:
Okay, so - a bit of background... are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin.

The other day, I go into the post office to buy a stamp for an envelope I'm going to post off in the near future. I buy said stamp, and then wander off to the post-box outside the post office to get rid of said envelope... only for the girl behind the counter to come dashing out after me because I'd forgotten to put the stamp on. She gets to me just as I'm letting go of the envelope, and then explains to me that it'll have to go without the stamp.

Next time I go into the post office, she remembers me. We have a brief little laugh and chat about the incident, where she offers to put the stamp on for me, just to make sure that it goes on.

Here's the thing, though: she's really cute and friendly, but my understanding of mating rituals is poor at best, I can't be sure whether this was simple customer service, or a sign that I should have taken the opportunity to ask for her name/phone number/favourite sexual position (well, maybe not the last one, but still...). I'd like to summon up the guts to ask her out, but I need a real reason to go into the post office (rather than just going in there and blurting it out right off the bat, which never works well).

Point is, should I even bother? I've already been feeling the urge to attempt to get to know her better being replaced by my usual desire to pull on a cowl and cape and brood on a rain-soaked rooftop, which is never a good sign. I know that "nothing ventured, nothing gained", but still... akg, I hate this whole dating malarkey. Why can't it just be "tick this box here if you like me"? :(


I have been getting that sort of thing every now and again in my life where someone would seem to go a bit out of her way to help me like how you described and I still don't know what that is all about. It is funny you should mention the "tick this box here if you like me" thing. I once tried that when I was in the second grade, I had a box for yes and no, she scribbled in a third box and checked it. It said Maybe. I haven't been able to understand women ever since. :wink:



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11 Mar 2008, 6:39 pm

I am no dating expert, I am 16 and have never had a gf. But I do think she was at least flirting with you. I don't have advice on a good way to ask her out though. My problem is I just ask them suddenly. For your question why can't dating be more simple? I agree, I wrote a poem about it I may put in my blog later if I remember.
Good Luck!


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Complex
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11 Mar 2008, 7:10 pm

That's a tough one. She's probably just a nice person being helpful and I wouldn't ask her out at this time. However, there is nothing wrong with making the trip to the post office when you have legitimate postal business and making yourself more of a familiar face. It also wouldn't be out of line to ask her what her first name is (first name only) the next time she waits on you.



lelia
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11 Mar 2008, 7:35 pm

I seriously doubt she was flirting. She was doing the kind of thing I would do. And I have no idea how to flirt. Good think I didn't need to to find my husband.



gekitsu
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12 Mar 2008, 12:35 pm

thats ones indeed hard to guess - but (given youre interested) i think you cant really go wrong bringing something like small chocolate candy or something (just something small, to say thanks) with you for her, "for my brave guide through the postal jungles" or something along those lines. just to show you appreciate.



MrSinister
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12 Mar 2008, 2:54 pm

Complex wrote:
That's a tough one. She's probably just a nice person being helpful and I wouldn't ask her out at this time. However, there is nothing wrong with making the trip to the post office when you have legitimate postal business and making yourself more of a familiar face. It also wouldn't be out of line to ask her what her first name is (first name only) the next time she waits on you.


Yeah, this sounds like a pretty sensible course of action. I wasn't going to swan in there with a dozen long-stem roses (even I know that's taking things too far, too fast), but I'd like to get to know her better, in any case. We'll see, I guess...


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viska
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12 Mar 2008, 8:16 pm

I agree with what most people say above. It's very possible that she was just being friendly and lightening up her boring day... however, maybe she also liked you. It's impossible for any of us to say, the situation is too ambiguous. Anyway, that wouldn't have been a good time to ask her out right then because you hadn't established enough of a rapport. You would at least need a little more conversation that is flowing well both ways before you ask to meet her outside of work. I've never picked up a girl while she was working and I was the customer, so I can't offer any more useful advice :(



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13 Mar 2008, 12:01 am

I've noticed that some girls flirt with guys they're not even attracted to. Maybe they do this to pass the time or get attention or stroke their egos or for some unknown reason. And then there are girls like me who don't flirt, and react to attractive people by getting really nervous and therefore acting unfriendly. Girls are confusing. That's why I've practically given up on dating them.



beef_bourito
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13 Mar 2008, 3:05 pm

there's really no harm in trying. maybe go in for whatever reason you can think of (mailing a letter, delivering a little thank you gift or something) and do something small. you really don't want to go over the top. if you start talking to her and the conversation is flowing pretty well and you notice her giving you more eye contact (key word being IF, i still don't notice it) then that's a good sign. try to keep it short and sweet and ask for her number or something at the end.



zee
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13 Mar 2008, 3:30 pm

She sounds like she was being friendly, although that's no reason to write her off. You can still keep talking to her, I just wouldn't make any big moves. I mean, you know very little about her, so keep up the friendly chat until you get to know her name and some more about her. Maybe go to the post office more often, there's nothing wrong with that. :wink:



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13 Mar 2008, 4:23 pm

Chase the girls like you are chasing squirrels. (Without any expectations of actualy catching one.) Eventually you might chase one that is interested in you.


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MrSinister
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13 Mar 2008, 6:06 pm

zee wrote:
She sounds like she was being friendly, although that's no reason to write her off. You can still keep talking to her, I just wouldn't make any big moves. I mean, you know very little about her, so keep up the friendly chat until you get to know her name and some more about her. Maybe go to the post office more often, there's nothing wrong with that. :wink:


Yeah, that sounds like a good plan. I'm sure I can mail some postcards to myself if things get desperate :)


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