(Female only) How did your father affect your life?

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My Dad is a sexist bastard who needs to have his dick cut off and fed to him.

He always told me to "shut up because i'm a male and you're a female".


-SpaceCase

That's horrible!

That sounds like my father. I went to a private school were expectations were high. I use to dread parent's evenings because I use to get the same thing from every tutor every year; I wasn't trying, was disorganised, too quiet, I'm not using my brains etc, and I never asked for help, I wasn't trying with my work. So I would get punished, try to explain that I couldn't get the things out of my head and onto paper, then I'd get a few smacks round the head and get told that I'm wasting a great opportunity and how they (my parents) didn't get that kind of opportunity when they were growing up.

I always got compared to my brother. Although now it's stopped because we both go to university.

I remember when I first told my parent's about my depression, they basically blew me off and said "Teenagers don't get depression" (I was 18/19 at the time) and then went on this huge convo about my mother being down and on St John's Wort.

Also about my bipolarism and the trouble controlling my anger, I got into one fight, just the one and I can't live it down; my father says when he was my age he use to get into fights all the time. I try and tell him that it was a one off (I 'forget' to tell them the real reason why I got into that fight) everything I say always turns into aa story about him or my mother it gets annoying after a while.

My dad was the person who always belived in me and knew that my AS was not a obstacle, but an enhancement. He always taught me not to let religion rule my life and make my own judgement on right and wrong.

*cries*

I'm so freaking jealous. I would amputate my arms and legs to have a father like that.

My father had a very big impact on my life. He left me and my mother when I was three and married a much younger woman (after publicly cheating on my mom with her). I would then visit him every other weekend where I would sleep on the couch and forced to spend all day (by myself) outside in 98 degree heat. He (with my stepmother) ofter physically abused and humiliated me, and when my AS started showing he would blame it on my mother for not controlling me enough. Then when I became a teen he ditched me and I have'nt heard from him since. He is a sergeant, incharge of a whole cities police department. Sometimes I feel like I will never trust a man again, even though I know all men are'nt like that. But I still wonder if I will ever get the chance to have a healthy relationship, because I don't let men in emothionally.

Growing up I couldn't stand my father. He was physically abusive to me and my mother (and no so much my sister). I remember being afraid of him. He would sit for hours, days even building a model, or taking apart an electronic device....you'd call his name and he couldn't hear you. If you happened to break his concentration...you'd better run. My mom had to do this to remind him to eat and go to work.......it got worse in the late eighties when we got a PC. After turning it on and playing with it for a little while, he took it apart and tried to see how to make it better. This was another thing for him to obsess over....for the next twenty years. when he was in his "mode" you couldn't disturb him.....when meant not making any noise. If you make a noise he didn't like he would come after us.......mostly me for fighting with my sister....who had her own variation of insanity...child onset rapid cycling bipolar disorder. My dad was a maker of piles....never threw anything a way (still doesn't....just makes piles)....she would go into her rages and knock over all the piles....break the TV, break the stereo, etc. And even worse....make a shedload of noise.....he was scared of her.

Anyway....I had my head bashed into the wall or the coffee table....hit with an electrical wire, punched in the face, just plain beaten...the one time he did go after my sister, we were fighting in the car and he bashed out heads together.....At one point child protective services got involved, but my mother convinced them that my dad wasn't really violent, just misunderstood. I lied to because I kinda understood my dad.

Then came the porn...porn on the computer screen in plain view of us kids. Penthouse, Playboy. Hustler left were we could find them at look at them.....at 9 years old I decided my life's ambition was to be a Penthouse Centerfold.....

My dad started building computers....he filled up an entire room with them, then another, and another....junk and clutter filled the house as my mother got sicker and sicker (she had MS). I left my house at 16, because I was afraid I'd one day turn into my father, either that or I'd kill my sister......

As I got older I reconnected with my father. He knew I went to college and graduated and got a job. The only thing he paid for was a Biochemistry textbook, but that's all he could afford. I talked to him here and there, but I really started to reconnect with him when my mom got really sick. I helped him clean his house (a real big job...he's a hoarder/squalorer), to make the house safe for her. I helped him put her in a nursing home when it was time. Once she was there I realized how dependant he was. He wouldn't eat, wouldn't sort his mail....went back to the hoarding, and the obsessing about his computers.....with no one there to tear him away...bills piled up, garbage piled up, etc. I helped him with the funeral and arrangements when she passed away this October.

When I was diagnosed when I was little the doctor that diagnosed me also mentioned to my father that my father also most likely had autism, and should see a pysch tp get tested....he was 32 years old and grew up thinking he was sociopath, schizophrenic, and a drug addict....when really he wasn't any of those (well maybe a drug addict at some point in the 70's). He's really smart (scary smart), but can't do something as simple as sorting his mail or matching his shoes.....

Now that I'm an adult, I worry about him, and I understand him. The rage that was inside him I have in me. I don't want him to be alone. He is high functioning enough to work, but really had a hard time taking care of himself. He has a girlfriend now , who does take care of him and now that he's older he seems to not be so full of rage and not as prone to meltdowns. I'm sure having two little girls, one with bipolar disorder and the other one autistic constantly fighting made the meltdowns more frequent .....

As screwed up as I may be because of the genes I inherited from him and the way he treated me, I can't say I'd want another father.

Ahh, both of my parents are messed up beneath the surface and have definitely amplified my inability to relate to people. My mom is overbearing and tries to beat out any of her personal failings that she sees exhibited in her children. She's totally insecure and has no self-confidence around other people, so she overcompensates with her family. She's pushy, impatient, demanding, and has the attention span of a gnat. She thinks introversion is always a negative trait (she's not introverted, she's just terribly shy, so she doesn't understand that some people ENJOY being alone). Any time I try to explain how I feel alienated from other people, she yells at me for thinking that way.

My father is basically just there. He goes to work, comes home, and then spaces out in front of the TV. He doesn't talk much. He was the middle child of nine, so I suspect his verbal skills atrophied at a young age with so many other people talking around him. He works in construction so he only needs to engage in minimal conversation at work. Then he comes home and he'll only talk about concrete things: what came in the mail, who will take out the trash, etc. You can be standing right next to him asking him questions and he'll stop listening halfway through. Yep. Any wonder I have no clue how to relate to men.

well mine is almost certainlly Aspie so he passed on AS to me and is very like me in characteristics. It is part of the reason we don't get along I no longer talk to him we had a falling out. Mum thought he was "odd" before she married him.

He DESTROYED every inkling in me of having a normal family.
i wish i could return him to his mother , i feel cheated coz my
grandma now lives a good retired life and we are stuck taking care
of him, on top of that i have a lot of unresolved issues plus the AS.
i sometimes wish i weren't alive, i'm so old yet i feel like a
f**king 3 year old.