Aspergers and Bipolar People...good match?

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bombergal
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14 Apr 2008, 5:40 pm

We are officially done. We kinda sorted out our differences after that roller-coaster weekend.
But this weekend wasn't much better and I can't deal with his illness and how it makes him if he goes off it. It will only be a matter of time until he ends up in the hospital again.



KoOni
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02 Aug 2016, 12:05 am

Dhp wrote:
1) Where in the blazing realm of hell do you AS people get off by saying that most bipolar people are mean?! ! What about the insensitive rude comments that you all make?! I have friends that are bipolar, and they tend to be some of the nicest people and smartest ones that I know of. Imagine - an AS person insulting a bipolar...kind of like the pot calling the kettle black, since they both have problem, even though different ones? Geez!!


I didn't see anyone saying they were mean, just that they act weird when they're emotional. Let's face it, for lots of us with AS other people's emotions are very difficult to deal with, especially in a relationship that is very much about emotions, and bipo's can be very emotionally needy people.

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2) Since a person with AS and a person with bipolar have different problems, shouldn't it be that the person loves the other person because of WHO they are, and not the problems that they have?


Should it be? I mean, you are asking the question so think of all the variables. What is so important about that one emotion that it would trump compatibility of personalities and clashing forms of brain chemistry that are likely to result in extreme discomfort from both parties. The AS will feel extremely overcrowded while the BiPo's need for emotional stability causes them to invade personal space and constantly dwell on subjects that make an AS's skin crawl.

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Love is more than handling problems...it is about respect and acceptance.

Love is a chemical reaction in the brain, just like the junk that makes us AS or BiPo and means less.

As for respect and acceptance; its very difficult for those of us with AS to accept or respect someone who has little to no control over their own emotions. Likewise I'm sure bipos have difficulty accepting that the person they are in a relationship with has difficulty processing the surges of emotional information they are being confronted with.

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Bipolar or AS has NOTHING to do with their upbringing or morality.

I have no time to argue morality; its worse than love.

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This just gets me so pissed off! I say that if the two truly love each other, then what is wrong with that? Yes, the marriage might be difficult, but if both of them respect and love each other and can learn to understand and accept each other's quirks or "problems", then the marriage can work out well.


Sure, you can make it work, but it might be better to chose to love someone who is easier to get along with.

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Now, I didn't mean to insult anyone,

Yes you did.

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but please...do some thinking and research before you decide to insult anyone else because you think that they have problems or are "mean". I hope all of you sincerely have a good day.


There were no insults. I highly doubt anyone here is insulting anyone but rather just making observations. And what bipolar people people do might not be mean to a normal person, but to many of us it is mean. We are talking about a disorder that causes a person to invade personal boundaries, demand emotional attention, and act out emotionally without obvious provocation. For some of us those can be the meanest things you can do.

I know it's not actually "mean" because it's not intended, but it still makes us feel about the same as if it were intended, and it can be very triggering.

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All of that said, I'm not against it either, and in fact cohabit with my bipolar girlfriend. The drawbacks are there and it can be very stressful and all of the above does, at times, apply.

HOWEVER it can also be rewarding. She claims I help to keep her "grounded" (I think that means I keep her from being illogically emotional in ways that might interfere with her ability to function) and I know that she keeps me in check when my attention to presenting facts and details might lead me to offend someone.

Plus, we find each other attractive and I think that for me the emotional strain of being alone would probably be worse thanot the emotional strain of dealing with all the bipolar stuff that causes me to feel uncomfortable due to my AS.



Tim_Tex
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02 Aug 2016, 5:26 am

This thread is over 8 years old, just so everybody knows.


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