Page 1 of 1 [ 3 posts ] 

happyheather912
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 54
Location: Johnson City, TN

30 Mar 2008, 11:10 am

So my fiance and I have been together for about 9 months now...I am getting really frustrated because he says I am way too affectionate. Actually I don't believe that I am...I hardly ever get to see him because of the schedules we work. It's true that I like to kiss and cuddle (and have sex) regularly, but I have never thought that I was overboard with it. Actually i've been told by some men that I wasn't affectionate enough!

It's getting to the point where this is causing a serious problem in our relationship. He also gets frustrated with my Aspie stuff and last week at church he yelled at me because I wasn't out shaking hands with everyone. (Shaking hands makes me VERY uncomfortable...) I can tell he gets uncomfortable when I mention my Asperger's, or if I write about it in my blog. This makes me wonder if he loves me or if I am just convenient because I take care of him.

I'm wondering if he might be getting tired of me...or if being with someone that impatient is going to drive me crazy. Help!


_________________
"You must have chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star." - Nietzche.


Belfast
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2005
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,802
Location: Windham County, VT

30 Mar 2008, 12:03 pm

happyheather912 wrote:
So my fiance and I have been together for about 9 months now...I am getting really frustrated because he says I am way too affectionate. Actually I don't believe that I am...I hardly ever get to see him because of the schedules we work. It's true that I like to kiss and cuddle (and have sex) regularly, but I have never thought that I was overboard with it.

My boyfriend is NT, but he is happy that I'm very affectionate-it's one of our shared values/priorities. He works, I don't, but still there are times when I feel deprived (hardly ever getting to spend time with him).
happyheather912 wrote:
I can tell he gets uncomfortable when I mention my Asperger's, or if I write about it in my blog. This makes me wonder if he loves me or if I am just convenient because I take care of him.

I'm wondering if he might be getting tired of me...or if being with someone that impatient is going to drive me crazy. Help!

You could discuss this with him, though one never knows if one will get honest answer, plus he might not be aware that he feels this way.
Am not gloating by saying my boyfriend is patient & listens when I talk about what it's like to be me (including the name of the dx)-it helps us translate between each other. Am telling you so that you know that dismissive reaction (what you seem to be describing) isn't the best you can hope for or expect, from an intimate partner. Can understand how hard it is to decide to remain in or break off a relationship-but if you don't think his p.o.v. is gonna' improve, you aren't doing either of you a favor by supressing your concerns.


_________________
*"I don't know what it is, but I know what it isn't."*


UtukXul
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 3 Mar 2008
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 132

31 Mar 2008, 12:53 pm

If he yells at you for not shaking hands then I dont think its you who has the problem :? ...