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Mittens
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13 Mar 2009, 3:16 am

I am agreeing with everyone here about the shopping thing. You could help him find clothes that are loose fitting, comfortable, but also look *good*. It's quite possible! Just try and coax him into going with you, even just one time to try it out. It's worth a shot!

P.S: I like your Tamaki avatar!


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vivreestesperer
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20 Mar 2009, 11:41 pm

Okay, so after all this, four pages of posts, I can't recall one post that mentioned what I think should be obvious:

With some Aspies, myself included, it is not a a matter of WANT to look nice, WANT to dress up. It is not a choice.

I have such severe sensory issues that I am extremely lucky if I can find ANY kind of clothing that I can tolerate having touch my skin. I have to wear really soft cotton clothing, drawstring pants, T-shirts - hell, even most yoga clothing is too confining for me :) I have a lot of specifications, things can't be too tight, and I'm a really small size, and all of my life I've struggled enormously just to find clothes I could bear wearing.

Color, style, if they went together, if they "looked good?" Couldn't be farther from my mind.
When you're desperate for a shirt that you can stand the feel of for 5 min or a day you really don't think about how it looks. Functionality, and survival, is sooooo much more important than something , I have to say it, rather shallow than how it looks.

I just have to say, would you rather him wear clothes that are so painful to wear he can't think, he can't talk to you, he can't work, he can't function? Because that's what happens to me when I try to wear clothes that I can't tolerate - if they're too tight or the fabric is wrong or they're touching the wrong places - my skin is so hypersensitive - I just am not aware of anything in the world but that feeling - and it sucks beyond belief.

In another world, I would love to look a little better, MAYBE, but in this world, I don't care what people think of me when they see what I wear; I am just so happy I am able to wear anything and be out in the world to talk to them. I like to think the bright smile on my face and my enthusiastic, warm personality makes up for any first impressions they might have gotten from my clothes - and if doesn't, screw them, I don't need them. I need people who will accept me for who I am in my life.

I am not saying your BF's sensory issues are as bad as mine, but I am saying maybe you should ask him, because there coiuld be a very real physical reason he dresses that way.

And while we're on the topic....if anyone can point me to any sources of loose drawstring cotton pants, organic cotton loose t- shirts, that they have found comfortable, I would be grateful as I am in dire need of clothes and have not been able to find anything I can tolerate yet. As loose as possible works best for me.

Thanks
Kate



creepycrawly36
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22 Mar 2009, 4:33 pm

Kate me and my wife are both like you, we are lucky if we find clothes we can tolerate, and when we do we buy like six pairs of shorts, pants, shirts whatever. Our clothing is all cotton, the soft kind, not the stiff kind, all my clothing is dark blue, dark brown, dark green or black (makes it easier, don't have to match many colours). My wife buys clothing from lands end, has soft cotton, but she says sometimes the pants are a little heavy (weight/sensory issues), but she loves the shirts (unfortunately they discontinued her favourite style).



Mudboy
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27 Mar 2009, 12:47 pm

Sounds like you all want "Gauze Beach" style clothes. (Click the underlined text to follow the link to the clothes)

BTW, I like people to shop for me...


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murasaki_ahiru
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03 Apr 2009, 9:20 pm

I used to not care much for clothes, but once I found a store that had stuff I like that all changed. There are times and places for different kinds of dress.



zer0netgain
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04 Apr 2009, 10:49 am

I'm surprised as a woman you didn't think of this already, but how many designers make clothes with comfort in mind?

I buy what makes me comfortable. I don't care about what's fashionable or trendy.

If I really had to "dress up" for something on a regular basis, I'd need a professional shopper or some place that specializes in comfortable clothes that look good. I have no interest in spending hours shopping for whatever fits the bill.



Dentu
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04 Apr 2009, 11:25 am

Try finding plain, comfortable clothes in colors the guy likes that can easily mix and match together. My wardrobe is about 80% soft polos, 90% primary colors or white, all loose fit but not baggy. The simple styles and colors can all go together easily that way.



richardbenson
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04 Apr 2009, 12:02 pm

i try to wash all my clothes, but shorts and pants i'll wear a couple days before cleaning


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Kirska
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04 Apr 2009, 1:25 pm

Something I have experienced that works is to just get them to go with you and try things on. A lot of times they'll hate it looking at it but once they put it on they realize it's not so bad after all.

Also, I know it can be hard, but getting him to throw out old clothes after you buy new clothes will really set the change in stone. I threw out over half of my wardrobe a couple years ago and really I haven't missed it like I thought I would.


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Kenjitsuka
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04 Apr 2009, 4:55 pm

I love comfy clothing. I have never worn anything that wasn't extremely comfortable ever, dispite many harsh comments in school. :roll: :roll:
In the end it is all about what you are feeling physically, right?



Josie
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05 Apr 2009, 1:44 am

Hey girl you gotta dress your man! Take him shopping and find him comfortable clothes. I use to hate jeans but got use to it because my mom forced me to like it.