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Luther64
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06 Aug 2012, 1:15 pm

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17. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

16. Gay culture is a new fad created by the liberal media to undermine long-standing traditions. We know this is true because gay sex did not exist in ancient Greece and Rome.

15. There are plenty of straight families looking to adopt, and every unwanted child already has a loving family. This is why foster care does not exist.

14. Conservatives know best how to create strong families. That is why it is not true that Texas and Mississippi have the highest teen birthrates, and Massachusetts, Vermont, and New Hampshire have the lowest. This is a myth spread by the liberal media.

13. Marriage is a religious institution, defined by churches. This is why atheists do not marry. Christians also never get a divorce.

12. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why our society has no single parents.

11. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

10. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

9. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

8. Gay marriage should be decided by the people and their elected representatives, not the courts. The framers checked the courts, which represent mainstream public opinion, with legislatures created to protect the rights of minorities from the tyranny of the majority. Interference by courts in this matter is inappropriate, just as it has been every time the courts have tried to hold back legislatures pushing for civil rights.

7. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because "separate but equal" institutions are a good way to satisfy the demands of uppity minority groups.

5. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

4. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

3. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

2. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

1. METEORS and VOLCANOES.


17. Wrong. Anyone can tell that social norms change with each generation and all it takes is a look out your window to see that society is designed almost entirely around cars.

16. Right & wrong. Gay culture (acting camp, wearing purple, etc.) is just a fad that I have no interest in partaking in. However, I love my boyfriend and I am sexually attracted to him.

15. Wrong. First of all, this is very poorly written. I had to read it thrice to decipher the actual meaning behind it! Gay couples love each other just as much as straight couples do. I see no reason why gay couples who are capable of offering just as much love as straight couples are should be denied the right to adopt a child.

14. I fail to see how this relates to homosexual marriage in any way.

13. Wrong. My boyfriend's parents are atheists and they've been happily married for 19 years. I was once ashamed of being bisexual because god supposedly didn't want it but after being domestically abused for 13 years, it finally dawned on me that there probably is no god and even if there is, why should I obey a god who wants me to live a life of misery and repression?

12. Wrong again! The smartest kid in our school lives with 5 siblings and a single mother.

11. What? god (notice my deliberate use of a minor g when referring to god! Ha! Take that!) doesn't want me to be with the only person I've ever loved? Well, I say, f**k him and his dated religion. It really is sad that in this day and age, people still base their lives around a fictional book that's been around for thousands of years.

10. Absolutely WRONG, yet again! My parents were christians who said they would slit my throat if I "became a sinful fa***t."

9. Irrelevant. Homosexual parents who love their children and raise them to be responsible are better parents than straight ones who mercilessly beat their children day after day. The world needs more children?! In actuality, a population boom is the last thing the world needs.

TO BE CONTINUED...



Luther64
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06 Aug 2012, 1:50 pm

...IMMEDIATELY!

8. Wrong. Too large a percentage of the American population accounts for intolerant facists and religious nutjobs. No offence intended. Unless you are an intolerant facist or a religious nutjob.

7. Wrong. In what way would straight marriage be any less meaningful if homosexual marriage were allowed?

6. You say we are uppity? It seems to me like society is too uppity to admit that a civil partnership is just the same as a marriage. Stop beating about the bush and call it what it is.

2. From the moment I met Max, I fell in love with him. I have an instinctive desire to be with someone I love. If that isn't natural, I don't know what is.

5, 4, 3 &1. Sigh... so transparent. Pathetic, in fact. You couldn't think of any more legitimate arguments and decided to throw in some un-funny and/or offensive jokes. None of which would be worthwhile criticizing.

OP, if you posted this because you agree with it then you sir, obviously suffer from BCDD (brain cell deficit disorder). However, if you posted this in the hope that it would fall prey to ridicule, congratulations - you succeded! And wasted an hour of my life. :?



Last edited by Luther64 on 06 Aug 2012, 1:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

TallyMan
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06 Aug 2012, 1:55 pm

Hmmmm. The thread was started 4 years ago! A few posts in someone states the facebook thing was a parody anyway.

:shrug:



Luther64
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06 Aug 2012, 2:08 pm

TallyMan wrote:
Hmmmm. The thread was started 4 years ago! A few posts in someone states the facebook thing was a parody anyway.

:shrug:


I'm sorry, I didn't even look at the date of the OP! Reading homophoebic statements such as those found in the listjust enrages me and the urge to retaliate clouds my logical judgement. I guess living in a severely homophoebic environment has made me very defensive.



thomas81
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06 Aug 2012, 4:58 pm

Cant be bothered to read this whole thread so I'll just nutshell my opinions.

The 'natural' and 'unnatural' dichotomy has been thrown around here an awful lot. Nature has no binary application of right or wrong. It lacks the human idea of moralism. Nature doesn't conform to your ideas , ideologies or prejudices. Nature just is. As has been truthfully said, homosexuality manifests throughout the animal kingdom so can't be dismissed as 'unnatural'.

Mankind is not some sort of divine entity whose sanctity is somehow preserved from the 'evils' of homosexuality. We are just glorified apes.

As for the marriage argument there is no argument against homosexual marriage that is not based on kneejerk religousity, foam mouthed ignorance or thinly veiled ideological agendas. Considering that married couples only have access to many of the legal rights and infrastructure, you can't have a meaningfully equal society without gay marriage.



JakobVirgil
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06 Aug 2012, 5:02 pm

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
read the first post.


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Who knows upon what soil they fed
Their hungry thirsty roots??

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The_Walrus
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06 Aug 2012, 6:03 pm

Luther, the list is not serious. It is pointing out the stupidity of arguments against gay marriage. It is actually in favour of gay marriage and is not homophobic at all.



yellowtamarin
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06 Aug 2012, 6:27 pm

This thread is hilarious, and concerning. Have any of my threads or posts been understood properly by the majority? :shrug:



Tiranasta
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07 Aug 2012, 12:32 am

I really don't understand how anyone can not see that this is parody. o.O



Species5618
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07 Aug 2012, 5:24 am

I'm not sure what is more funny: The list or the people not realizing it's a parody :)



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07 Aug 2012, 5:32 pm

Species5618 wrote:
I'm not sure what is more funny: The list or the people not realizing it's a parody :)


For real!
Was chuckling to myself all day at work about how the OP (funny as it was)in this thread got upstaged by the responses!



Luther64
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07 Aug 2012, 6:55 pm

Parody or not, I fail to see why this would be considered funny in any way. It's inappropriate to post a parody on a site populated by autistics who have a reputation for taking things literally.



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07 Aug 2012, 7:40 pm

Luther64 wrote:
Parody or not, I fail to see why this would be considered funny in any way. It's inappropriate to post a parody on a site populated by autistics who have a reputation for taking things literally.

I would argue that a lot of people, whether they take things literally or not, did not read the parody properly. I've seen people arguing against some of the more controversial points, but I can't see anyone arguing about lines such as:

This is why foster care does not exist.
Christians also never get a divorce.
That's why our society has no single parents.

Surely almost anyone, no matter how literal-minded they are, could see these statements are so ridiculous that they must be sarcastic?



Luther64
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07 Aug 2012, 8:29 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
I would argue that a lot of people, whether they take things literally or not, did not read the parody properly. I've seen people arguing against some of the more controversial points, but I can't see anyone arguing about lines such as:

This is why foster care does not exist.
Christians also never get a divorce.
That's why our society has no single parents.

Surely almost anyone, no matter how literal-minded they are, could see these statements are so ridiculous that they must be sarcastic?


Over the years, I've heard people say much more ridiculous things in sincerity. After spending 13 years of living with a corrupt, psychopathic and abusive family and having had a very limited experience of normal society, I am used to people bending the truth and even blatantly lying in attempt to justify their points of view, however wrong or twisted they may be; and in some respects, I probably am unusually naive in comparison to you guys. So, if it makes you feel better, make fun of me. Laugh as much as you want to because it will only make you look bad and it won't have any effect on me whatsoever.



yellowtamarin
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07 Aug 2012, 8:49 pm

Luther64 wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
I would argue that a lot of people, whether they take things literally or not, did not read the parody properly. I've seen people arguing against some of the more controversial points, but I can't see anyone arguing about lines such as:

This is why foster care does not exist.
Christians also never get a divorce.
That's why our society has no single parents.

Surely almost anyone, no matter how literal-minded they are, could see these statements are so ridiculous that they must be sarcastic?


Over the years, I've heard people say much more ridiculous things in sincerity. After spending 13 years of living with a corrupt, psychopathic and abusive family and having had a very limited experience of normal society, I am used to people bending the truth and even blatantly lying in attempt to justify their points of view, however wrong or twisted they may be; and in some respects, I probably am unusually naive in comparison to you guys. So, if it makes you feel better, make fun of me. Laugh as much as you want to because it will only make you look bad and it won't have any effect on me whatsoever.

I'm not laughing at anyone. I did find the thread amusing, but wasn't personally laughing at any particular people.

Thank you for clarifying.