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ford_prefects_kid
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07 Apr 2008, 11:07 pm

I'm posting this here because no one takes the adult forum seriously, and I think more women probably have this issue for obvious reasons.


...so how do you go about fixing it? I remember a few years ago I almost decided I was asexual, because the flashbacks got so bad. Now I realize I'm obviously not. But I've probably had PTSD for a long-time, and sometimes I can't even get really into it unless I'm too tired to even think straight.


(Apologies for being deliberately vague...but I think most can probably read between the lines, as it's a sensitive subject. I'm mostly interested in how others have dealt with the problem, or have tried to deal with the problem)



foxman
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07 Apr 2008, 11:09 pm

I don't really know what PTSD is. I mean, I've heard the term, but I don't really understand it.

It's funny you posted this tho...I just posted something on how old abuse is coming up now in a new relationship, and I'm not sure what to do.


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Mikomi
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07 Apr 2008, 11:11 pm

Time and being in the right relationship...noting that even being in the right relationship, time will still be essential. Feeling safe is absolutely vital - and not just in sexual matters. If all else fails to quell the flashbacks, counseling may be the only ticket to getting your life back. It took many years of not being victimized before the flashbacks stopped, but eventually they did stop.


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postpaleo
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08 Apr 2008, 12:05 am

I'm a guy but saw the link here. A bit miffed this subject wouldn't be treated seriously and I don't care where it got put. Your situation is not unique and especially among our aspie sisters. There are for most purposes two distinct types of PTSD, this one, Complex PTSD, (in a nut shell, abuse over time) isn't as well known, but I think it shows it's face in this community more then most know. The more common kind (unfortunately or at least that the statistics point to) is PTSD. there are sub categories with in these that have symptoms. One of the misconceptions is you have to have been a combat vet to get it, that is incorrect. I'm not at liberty to point out those I know here that have it and have it for the same reason you do. They are here and many have voiced up before. Let's hope they saw your title as I did. I have, I believe, the complex PTSD, although the Veterans Administration thinks I have/may have the other type, the shock kind. (it sure didn't feel "shocky" kinda peacefully numb, hell I dunno) It may end up I have neither, who knows at my age.

I wish I could tell you about any therapy, mine is minimal at best and probably will be ongoing. I'm doing a mood stabilizer for something non aspie related and non PTSD related and one of the things it has been found to be good for is certain types/cases of PTSD and it has helped something, lol, but not the intended one. Now having said all this, most big cities and many smaller have crisis centers that deal exactly with this. Many of those that work there have been through exactly what you aren't saying directly. They know and they know how to set the healing process in motion, because many are victims too.

This link is good and once you hit some of the links it provides, you can start tracking to other places. It wasn't set up specifically for what you have noted, but it's a good place to start. It was done by one of our WP members. And for any that don't know about PTSD it's good for the same reasons. Hope this helped a bit and if you don't get any Aspie sister's off the bat, try again, they are here and not afraid to give voice to this very real problem. Claradoon's PTSD site


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D1nk0
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08 Apr 2008, 12:22 am

ford_prefects_kid wrote:
I'm posting this here because no one takes the adult forum seriously, and I think more women probably have this issue for obvious reasons.


...so how do you go about fixing it? I remember a few years ago I almost decided I was asexual, because the flashbacks got so bad. Now I realize I'm obviously not. But I've probably had PTSD for a long-time, and sometimes I can't even get really into it unless I'm too tired to even think straight.


(Apologies for being deliberately vague...but I think most can probably read between the lines, as it's a sensitive subject. I'm mostly interested in how others have dealt with the problem, or have tried to deal with the problem)


You need to get professional help with this ford_perfects_kid, good call for not putting it in the Adult Forum cuz *this* is something that people in your situation are quite sensitive about. Maybe anti-depressants might do the trick. OR, if you feel comfortable you could consider seeing a sex therapist.



Last edited by D1nk0 on 08 Apr 2008, 1:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

hartzofspace
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08 Apr 2008, 1:01 am

I have complex PTSD. PM me if you want.


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poopylungstuffing
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08 Apr 2008, 2:48 am

In retrospect, I believe I have had some form of PTSD..not sure which kind though.
I can easily have flashbacks, they just don't really affect me anymore...I don't know if that means I am cured..it has been a while since I have had a regression....
It really strongly affected me as a child to the point where I changed it seemed almost into a different being....had a horrible time sleeping...gained a ton of weight....etc... If I did not have so many AS traits that run in my family, I could almost speculate that some of my AS-ish development/symptoms occurred as a result of PTSD due to trauma i received as a child.
Anyway...it affected me in bizarre ways sexually when I was still very young...and now as a childlike adult, alot of it seems to be water under the bridge, though I may not have the biggest libido in the world.



MissConstrue
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08 Apr 2008, 5:30 pm

I used to get horrible panic attacks sometimes when it actually got down to the real thing. It always bothered me. My therapist thinks I have PTSD, I told her nothing traumatic happened with me but she tells me I might not remember. Looking back, she brought up some stuff I told her which sounded traumatic so now I wonder.

Just thought I'd share my story. I don't know if I really do have PTSD or not but it bothers me a lot, and yeah, I myself don't feel comfortable posting in the Adult Forum anymore if it's serious. Sometimes there's serious topics, but it just seems like a lot more ppl don't take eachother seriously. If they do, some of them get real offened and why I don't know.


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08 Apr 2008, 10:33 pm

wow, I had a counselor ask me the same thing. They thought i had some type of PTSD too. I don't remember anything like that ever happening to me. I didnt even have sex until i was married. I was so scared about it, Terrified! Seven years later and i am finally relaxing. I have found that the older i get, the more i enjoy it. I do go through a sort of 'asexual' phase in which i have difficulty picturing myself as a sexy or sexual being.



Semi_Lost_Serenity
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09 Apr 2008, 1:37 am

I have panic attacks. I don't stay in relationships long. I think the longest lastest two months. After I blew up at the guy for justing wanting sex, I basically told myself "No more". I have made the decision to be alone the rest of my life. I am not sure if I am asexual or it's because of my first ex, but I can't stand being touched. I don't know. My way of getting through it is just to remind myself of the reasons why I am alone. May be when I am older and males are less pushy, it might happen - but who knows? Until then, I am alone. All I can offer is my sympathyand to tell you that you are not alone.


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poopylungstuffing
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09 Apr 2008, 3:47 pm

I had "bad" stuff happen to me on multiple occasions...I so wish not to be completely scarred for life by it, because it wasn't my fault......but it has had an affect on a large chunk of my life thus far, unfortunately...



Jainaday
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11 Apr 2008, 5:07 pm

I have complex PTSD.

First, I'd like to say thanks for this useful and sensitive post.

postpaleo wrote:
I'm a guy but saw the link here. A bit miffed this subject wouldn't be treated seriously and I don't care where it got put. Your situation is not unique and especially among our aspie sisters. There are for most purposes two distinct types of PTSD, this one, Complex PTSD, (in a nut shell, abuse over time) isn't as well known, but I think it shows it's face in this community more then most know. The more common kind (unfortunately or at least that the statistics point to) is PTSD. there are sub categories with in these that have symptoms. One of the misconceptions is you have to have been a combat vet to get it, that is incorrect. I'm not at liberty to point out those I know here that have it and have it for the same reason you do. They are here and many have voiced up before. Let's hope they saw your title as I did. I have, I believe, the complex PTSD, although the Veterans Administration thinks I have/may have the other type, the shock kind. (it sure didn't feel "shocky" kinda peacefully numb, hell I dunno) It may end up I have neither, who knows at my age.

I wish I could tell you about any therapy, mine is minimal at best and probably will be ongoing. I'm doing a mood stabilizer for something non aspie related and non PTSD related and one of the things it has been found to be good for is certain types/cases of PTSD and it has helped something, lol, but not the intended one. Now having said all this, most big cities and many smaller have crisis centers that deal exactly with this. Many of those that work there have been through exactly what you aren't saying directly. They know and they know how to set the healing process in motion, because many are victims too.

This link is good and once you hit some of the links it provides, you can start tracking to other places. It wasn't set up specifically for what you have noted, but it's a good place to start. It was done by one of our WP members. And for any that don't know about PTSD it's good for the same reasons. Hope this helped a bit and if you don't get any Aspie sister's off the bat, try again, they are here and not afraid to give voice to this very real problem. Claradoon's PTSD site


That's a very good link.

I must respectfully disagree about the professional help, though--there are a lot of bad phychs out there. It can be helpful, but it can also make things worse; it's very important to be careful, and trust your gut.


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ford_prefects_kid
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17 Apr 2008, 3:58 pm

Hey, I didn't reply to this forum since I started it, although I did read everyone's feedback. It really meant a lot how supportive people were. I got a few PMs from members here that were especially helpful.


I tend to disappear into the mists after putting something serious out there, but I just wanted to say thanks. I'm looking into seeing someone right now (once school calms down) and she's supposed to be good with anxiety as well as PTSD so hopefully that works out. Hearing back from you guys helped me get the ball rolling on that.

And the link was also helpful postpaleo, thanks for sharing.



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17 Apr 2008, 9:50 pm

For one,
you need to reach a point of realization that its not your fault,
two,
you must realize and accept the person who offended you was sick,
wishing them to get help is the best for them and others and your self,
three,
you need to let go of the anger and hurt, the more you hold it in the more it affects your life,
the person who hurt you will always be hurting you if you let it keep hurting your self, get on with life.
four,
accept that there will always be that memory, the hurt will never actually go away,
but you can over come most of it with acceptance.



sojournertruth
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25 Apr 2008, 2:25 am

It really helps to find someone who has had a similar experience to talk about it with.



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27 Apr 2008, 9:38 pm

Real PTSD can kill you (from secondary causes, of course).

But worse, it can make your life miserable. You need professional help. It won't go away by itself (I'm not being pesimistic). As a matter of fact, it doesn't ever go away completely. However, it can be controlled. I just had a friend with PTSD who left it untreated until he had a heart attack. Not to worry, his was something we call "battle induced PTSD," and I don't think you've got that. But dont'wait around. Get in and see someone who specializes in treating PTSD. I have a number of contacts in that field, if you want to PM me, I'll give you the name of someone who can point you in the right direction.

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