Does anyone here have a tranny significant other?

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SpaceCase
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10 Apr 2008, 11:05 am

:lol:

My siggie wants to go into nude art modeling...LIKE ME!! !

:lol:


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ebec11
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10 Apr 2008, 3:22 pm

What does tranny mean?
I have a crush at the moment, but it's going at a snail's pace :(



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10 Apr 2008, 3:23 pm

MissConstrue wrote:
I had a guy friend who wasn't exactly a MTF, I don't know if that counts. He wore feminine clothes and said he felt more female than male. No, we were just friends, in fact he was way too feminine for my taste. I think he was even more feminine than me. :(
He might be transgender?



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10 Apr 2008, 3:55 pm

ebec11 wrote:
What does tranny mean?
I have a crush at the moment, but it's going at a snail's pace :(


"Tranny" is the cutsy word for "transgender".



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10 Apr 2008, 8:47 pm

SpaceCase wrote:
ebec11 wrote:
What does tranny mean?
I have a crush at the moment, but it's going at a snail's pace :(


"Tranny" is the cutsy word for "transgender".



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oh :oops:
No then :D



Aeneas_Iactatus
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11 Apr 2008, 10:19 pm

When I was using eHarmony, I ended up talking with someone who may have been tg (eHarmony has male and female and no homosexual section), judging by some hints she dropped. I'm ashamed to say I freaked and took the cowardly way out.



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12 Apr 2008, 4:57 am

Unless things are changing, historically the term 'tranny' meant transvestite... someone (generally a man) who wore clothing of the opposite gender.

The was/is not the same thing as someone who feels they are actually the gender opposite their own genetic gender.

I have never heard these terms used towards genetic females who dress in men's clothing, although times may be changing as more Transmen come out to the world...

Tranny/Trannie - Transvestite - a man who wears women's clothing but is not out to live like a woman.
CD/Crossdresser - a man who wears female clothing, sometimes trying to pass as a female, but does so part time and lives their life as a male otherwise.

Transwoman/MtoF/M2F/Transsexual - a genetic male who believes/feels they should be living as female, to include their physical properties... from their hair to their breasts, to their vagina. These people seek to 'correct' the error they feel has been made.
Some will only live life as a female without hormones or surgery, others will opt for the hormones but no surgery, and the others will opt for some combination of hormones and surgery.
Surgeries include - Facial Feminisation Surgery LINK--->FFS, Breast augmentation, Gender Reassignment Surgery/Sex Reassignment Surgery/Vaginoplasty, and Castration/Orchiectomy.

To gain a legal change in one's gender in the U.S., you need to have proof that you had irreversible sex/gender change surgery.
An orchiectomy may suffice in some states. Letters from Psychologists and Surgeons seem to be necessary in many places.

You can have your legal 'federal' gender changed and/or your state gender changed.
This would include social security, driver's license, birth certificate(not available everywhere).

If you were married before transition, typically the marriage remains valid even after transition.
After transition, I know of no state currently that allows an MtoF to marry a 'legal' female be that another transwoman, or a genetic female.

There are some of us who are 'inbetweeners'.
I'd never pass as a woman, but at this point in my life I do not want to.
There are many things I do like about myself that some may see as masculine.
If you have seen my pics I posted here you might have a hard time believing I could ever pass as a woman without EXTENSIVE facial surgery... which I am not inclined to do... I like my face just fine :wink:

My issue is with the rest of my body... specifically my male parts.
I've tried all my life to 'get along' with being male, but I have come to the understanding that I do not have to keep up this stressful charade in my life anymore.

Personally, I wish our society had a better 'common' term for people like me than Transgender.
I'm trying to work out a term along the lines of the common, "male" "female" and "He" "She".
The physical changes I seek for myself are for my comfort and happiness, yet I do not seek to become something/someone I do not feel I am.

If you sense a struggle to express in words what I feel... you're correct.
Until this is all better understood and accepted by society, we will always struggle with definitions and descriptions.
Until this is all better understood and accepted by society, we will always be seen as a curiosity or as freaks/fools.

I live alone and since being divorced just last year, I have been doing a lot of thinking about relationships and the base upon which people construct them.
I understand that no matter what I am like personality-wise, this gender issue will probably make it extremely hard for me to find someone to have a loving, intimate relationship with again.
I'm not talking about a relationship based purely upon sex, but one where I can love the person for who they are separate from physical characteristics and they can reciprocate that love for the same reasons.

Certainly, physical attributes come into play... attraction encompasses physical and non-physical qualities... but I love, loving.
I miss being physically close to someone, being devoted to them to the point that they become part of the epicenter of my life.

this all sounds rather dry and I can be more romantic, but I'm not trying to 'woo' anyone right here :wink:

During the previous 20 years (give or take a year) of my life, I had at first... one person with whom I was comfortable with being around exclusively, and caring about/for exclusively, and then two after our daughter came to be.

The sad thing I find in my story is that no matter how much I loved and cared... in the end... it was my ADD/HD and my Gender that my wife spoke of for seeking the divorce.

So now I've only got my body pillow to hug at night... not the best substitute for what I lost.
I have been approached by the 'matchmakers' in my community and at work who 'know someone who's interested in dating...", but I'm a bit freaked out by the thought of dating someone I know very little about or have no feelings towards.

There are a few women in my area that I have thought I'd like to 'go out' with, but I'm not very good at approaching woman that way... I tried last year with a co-worker and that blew up completely in my face.

While there are people at work and my close friends in the area who know I am Transgendered, having told them is different than opening up about it with someone I may try exploring a more intimate relationship with.

There are a couple of women online who I have been in contact with through PM's that know about me, yet they live quite a distance from me and I don't know how to work out a relationship long-distance.

Well... this is turning into quite the pathetic little post isn't it? :roll: :oops:

It's almost 3 in the morning... I'm tired (got home from work a few hours ago)... and probably not at my best for this sort of thing.

Sorry! :hic:


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886
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13 Apr 2008, 1:02 am

SpaceCase wrote:
MTF means "male-to-female" and tranny is just a cutsy name for "transgendered".

So,I'm dating a girl who used to be a man. Well,she still has a dick,but,yeah...


-SpaceCase


How can she be a girl if she has a dick? :?

As far as I'm concerned... you don't have periods, you don't make babies, and you have a penis... I fail to see how she's female in anyway.

Maybe she can act feminine? Either way, "she" is still a he.


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Xelebes
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13 Apr 2008, 1:22 am

I've met a few MTFs. Never were to my liking. Haven't met an FTM yet, so can't really say anything in that regard.



SpaceCase
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13 Apr 2008, 4:08 pm

886 wrote:
SpaceCase wrote:
MTF means "male-to-female" and tranny is just a cutsy name for "transgendered".

So,I'm dating a girl who used to be a man. Well,she still has a dick,but,yeah...


-SpaceCase


How can she be a girl if she has a dick? :?

As far as I'm concerned... you don't have periods, you don't make babies, and you have a penis... I fail to see how she's female in anyway.

Maybe she can act feminine? Either way, "she" is still a he.


On the inside,dearie,on the inside. She's a girl on the inside,always was and always will be. And besides,they have sex change surgeries and hormones(she is on hormones,now,though).

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14 Apr 2008, 1:28 am

SpaceCase wrote:
886 wrote:
SpaceCase wrote:
MTF means "male-to-female" and tranny is just a cutsy name for "transgendered".

So,I'm dating a girl who used to be a man. Well,she still has a dick,but,yeah...


-SpaceCase


How can she be a girl if she has a dick? :?

As far as I'm concerned... you don't have periods, you don't make babies, and you have a penis... I fail to see how she's female in anyway.

Maybe she can act feminine? Either way, "she" is still a he.


On the inside,dearie,on the inside. She's a girl on the inside,always was and always will be. And besides,they have sex change surgeries and hormones(she is on hormones,now,though).

-SpaceCase


This argument usually boils down to what makes a male... a male? What makes a female... a female?
We may have even had this discussion here on WP before... can't recall for sure though.

If you only consider the genitalia as prerequisite for being male or female, you run into problems with intersexed individuals.

Then there's the whole X and Y thing and it's many variants.
Plain old XX and XY make handy defining points, but there are other variations of these so much so that the real definition of male and female kinda get blurred.

Then there the whole issue of gender and what a person's brain is telling them.

Anyway, I think SpaceCase is correct in seeing as 'what's on the inside'.
The 'dick' can stay or go, but for the transgendered individual... it's primarily about what they feel/believe internally that really counts.

OH

and I'd like to formally apologize for my post earlier... I was really tired and let my mouth run on too much :oops:

I did want to say that it makes me happy to see so many accepting individuals here.
Physical qualities are certainly important in choosing a partner/mate, but it's so much nicer to be appreciated for the person you are on the inside... so-to-speak. :wink:


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Mark198423
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14 Apr 2008, 12:25 pm

[quote="wsmac"it's primarily about what they feel/believe internally that really counts.[/quote]

Really? I'm open minded but I think 'the grass is always greener...' might fit here.

I think South Park cover this subject perfectly in 'Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina', particularly the part where 'she' goes for her abortion!


There's no shame in being homosexual or bisexual any longer so why make such a huge change that you may regret for alot longer than you enjoy it?



wsmac
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14 Apr 2008, 1:03 pm

Mark198423 wrote:
wsmac wrote:
it's primarily about what they feel/believe internally that really counts.


Really? I'm open minded but I think 'the grass is always greener...' might fit here.

I think South Park cover this subject perfectly in 'Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina', particularly the part where 'she' goes for her abortion!


There's no shame in being homosexual or bisexual any longer so why make such a huge change that you may regret for alot longer than you enjoy it?


Well, I'm not sure if you're talking from experience, but even if you are... it is your experience applicable to your life... not mine.

An important note: Sexuality and Gender are two separate things. When you say things like...
Quote:
There's no shame in being homosexual or bisexual any longer so why make such a huge change that you may regret for alot longer than you enjoy it?

In relation to a discussion about gender issues, you are clearly confusing the two terms.

I know several MtoF and FtoM people and the ones who have transitioned fully seem quite happy and content to me.
Nothing in what they say, how they act, nor how their lives are heading lately indicates that they would be better off if they had just accepted your belief that they are confused about their sexuality instead of their gender.
These people have come to the 'right' place concerning their gender, and their sexuality is a different subject all together; which I see many of them as having dealt with that issue also.

For myself... I prefer a woman for a sexual partner.
I am not concerned about labeling my sexuality as either hetero or homo or bi sexual.
So, no matter how far my gender transition goes... I see no reason why I would change my sexuality in connection with it.
Could I be bi? Perhaps, but at this moment in my life I am not physically attracted to men.

People like yourself seem to have figured it all out for everyone but for one thing... you have no idea what is 'right' for anyone else but yourself and hopefully you do have such an understanding of your own self.

If you accept that you can understand your own gender and sexuality, then why can't you accept that other people can also understand their own?

One of the biggest issues I see in regards to all this is the fact that in the Western societies there is really no broad acceptance nor understanding of gender.
Gender has been defined by only two terms... male & female.
When all the physical and scientific evidence refutes that line of thought, we are left with a significant number of individuals who seem to be unable to comprehend any other possibilities than the bi-polar gender classification system.
These individuals, in their ignorance, continue to try and force the other people to 'toe the line' and accept this erroneous ideal of only two genders.

If you do a bit of research, you would find out what I have... many cultures around the world... both ancient and modern cultures... have understood the variance in the human mind, human body, to include things such as gender and sexuality.
While not every one of these cultures has given total acceptance to people who fall between the strict male/female gender labels, they have at the very least understood that we do exist and that it is not a choice we freely make nor a denial of our sexuality.

Hope that helps! :wink: :D


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14 Apr 2008, 1:54 pm

wsmac wrote:
Mark198423 wrote:
Quote:
There's no shame in being homosexual or bisexual any longer so why make such a huge change that you may regret for alot longer than you enjoy it?

In relation to a discussion about gender issues, you are clearly confusing the two terms.


Actually I'm not. Gender is black and white, it's part of the physics of the human body, the only real 'grey area' as far as genders go are hermaphrodite's. The reason I mentioned sexuality is that's the only viable reason that comes to mind. What makes a man a man, or a woman a woman is the physical side so how can someone who is one, feel like they are the other? Surely they just have similar feelings/attractions/experiences as the opposite gender so therefore believe they should be as they are?

I'm not looking down on people or telling people how to live their lives I truely cannot comprehend why someone would want to do it.

I had a good think about the subject a while back when a friend told me of their friend who'd been beaten up by her (ex)boyfriend after he found out she used to be a guy. Whilst I believe he was wrong in his actions it was also wrong to keep such a huge fact away from him. 'She' was gay before and has, by having the sex change, duped a fair few men into sleeping with her/him that wouldn't have before. I would be disgusted and quite angry if this were revealed to me in this mannor.

To go back to my original post re South Park - is it really any more realistic to want to become the opposite gender than to become a differengt species?



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15 Apr 2008, 2:01 am

I don't watch television so I am not familiar with the Southpark episode you mention.

From what I have experienced myself and from the stories I have heard from other people who live under the 'transgendered' umbrella, it is not uncommon for people like us to start out wondering if we are homosexual.
I have come to realize it was actually not my sexuality that was in question for me, but rather my gender.
Like many of the general population though, I tended to think only in terms of sexuality when I was dealing with my propensity for dressing in my sister's and mother's clothing... in hiding... scared shitless that someone would find me.

You see, where I grew up there was no such thing as a crossdresser, or a tranny or the whole concept of Transgender.
It was straight or queer... man or fag/fruit/fairy/etc.
I didn't have any other choices.
No matter what I really felt inside, I learned as a child that being 'queer' was BAD.
This came not only from religion, but from the community-at-large also.
I'm talking about the 60's and 70's in West Texas, mind you.

Although my earliest recollections are of me lying in bed at night hoping that in the morning I would wake up in a girl's body, I never felt any physical attraction to boys; I liked girls... not only to socialize with but to hold hands with and dream of kissing with.

So we have two things here... my sexuality was a physical attraction towards females.
My gender... how I really felt inside... was female.

My sex identification based upon my genitals was male. (oops.. actually, it still is... :oops: :wink: )
I have never had a Chromosome study done so I can only guess I probably would come out with the male pattern XY since I have never been told I exhibit traits linked with other variants.

There are scientists studying the possibility that sex hormones can affect the hypothalamus in a fetus and may influence either sexuality or gender.... or both.

Like I said earlier... every one of the trans people I know.. and I know almost a dozen personally and have written to many more online... feel they are much better off after having gone through their transition to the 'correct' gender.
I am relating their experiences to you.
I know a University Philosophy Professor who is a Transman (FtoM), lives with his 'wife', and is quite happy living as a man.
By all appearances... he is a man.
If I were to go and suggest to him that he was just confused about his sexuality and should go and be a Lesbian, I'm sure I would meet a great resistance to this.
This person KNOWS what he feels, what he has felt all his life, and certainly has the intellectual capacity to understand the difference between a 'confused homosexual' and someone who truly understands which gender they should be living as.

We can argue about this and mix terms, but I am only saying that people like me are desiring to live as a specific gender that our brains tell us we should be living as.
This issue has nothing to do with sexuality.
Because of our society's ignorance on this subject, too many transgendered people have been forced or coerced into believing they were homosexual.

Once we separate the two, we can start to appreciate the differences there and start allowing people the freedom to become the gender they really are inside.
In some cases, some folks will opt for physical changes to their bodies that will allow them to move through society in a more stealthy mode protecting them from the negative opinions, ignorant beliefs, and harmful actions of the general population.
Many desire the surgeries so they see a body that mates right with their gender.

I grew up a 'Redneck' in order to hide from the rest of the Rednecks, because I understood what some of those types liked to do to people like me.
It is quite the serious matter... self-preservation!
And again... all I heard growing up was 'you're either queer or straight!', not 'you may be male, female or some other gender'.
Heck, we didn't even have the term Bi-Sexual when and where I was growing up.
If a guy fancied a guy, there was NO WAY he would ever desire a woman also!
A queer was only good for making fun of, and beating up.
No one would dare be a friend to a queer/fag.

So you keep on talking about repressed homosexual tendencies incorrectly articulated as false gender identity all you want.
I know the difference.. I know the truth.

I questioned my sexuality my whole life only because I was ignorant about gender and it's various characteristics.
A lot of my angst over my gender was the fact that even though I would sneak around, wear women's clothing and imagine how good it would feel to finally be a girl, I was not attracted to boys.
I was so confused my whole life.
Here I was, a West Texas freak whose only options in life revolved around the sexuality issue.
Since I wore women's clothing and wished to be a girl, my only option was that I was homosexual.
So naturally I spent too much of my life questioning how I could be homosexual if I did not desire men for a sex partner... how I could find women so physically attractive yet not men.
I WORE DRESSES! I HAD TO BE A HOMO!

Are you getting the point yet?
BTW, I'm not angry and I realize my words may come off as such :D
I am actually enjoying this thread although I seem to have taken it way off topic.

In our societies, we need to lose the old notions of sexuality and gender.
We need to come to understand how incredible and complex the human brain is.
What the Transgendered community is saying is, "Hey, my gender comes from what's in my brain! My brain is telling me I have been living as the wrong gender! I need to fix this because I've been battling it too long and it's wearing me down!", and things of that nature.

If taking hormones appropriate for my target gender helps me feel like I am finally at peace and physically 'right'... then that is good isn't it?
If having surgery to alter my body so that it 'fits' my gender(as I feel it) and makes me more at ease and able to live a positive and successful life, then isn't this the best thing also?

I spent almost my entire life up until a few years ago trying to make myself stop feeling the way I felt about my gender...

-I've been through years of therapy, been through the religious mill, talked/cursed/begged GOD for an answer, almost everything I could think of to help my mind come to rest (except for drug and alcohol abuse... thank goodness!).
-I have purged my stash of feminine clothing and other fem things... time-after-time-after-time...
-I have hated myself, berated myself, and stuck the barrel of my loaded Ruger Blackhawk .357 in my mouth after one of my 'dress up' sessions.
-I have lost the woman I loved for over 17 years... the woman I conceived a child with... the woman I made the center of my world.

I have been through what I can only call... HELL AND BACK.

I trust my feelings on this... my beliefs... my body... way more than the words of those who do not understand.

I can tell you with absolute assurance...

The idea of having GRS ( gender reassignment surgery... aka... having my male parts flipped inside-out for a neo-vagina), is not some escapism for any denial of my sexuality... or homosexuality as you would have it.

This would bring me a sense of peace with my own body.
It has little to do with sex and everything to do with my own personal identity relating to gender.

I suppose this is about as clear as I can make it. :wink:


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15 Apr 2008, 5:34 pm

After thinking about this whole thread... I realize I was party to taking it off topic.

So

I would like to apologize to SpaceCase for doing so.

I like the thread the way it was started, sorry I took it to a whole different theme.

:wall:


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