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Zane
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Joined: 12 Apr 2008
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 473
Location: Tempe, Arizona

16 Apr 2008, 11:47 am

First stop thinking so negative.

You can't make friends being negative about it.

Nobody enjoys hanging around the guy who sulks 100% of the time.

If you want to make friends try this...

First find things you enjoy. You don't have to be good at it just enjoy or have a passion for it.

I am not good at basketball, but I enjoy the game. So I can go up to any court and say "hey, room for one more?" I may suck but my love of the sport shows and eventually I get respect for that. Even the ball boy gets respect.

Another thing you can do is simply accept your quirks.

I say things that make no sense sometimes also. That is just part of who I am. I don't take meds for it and even when I did I never talk about it.

Sure it kind of sucks being labeled as the "random" guy. But at the EXACT same time I am respected for my other great qualities. I am always honest, I love to learn new things "social sponge" and I am relatively knowledgeable in a lot of things "NT" guys enjoy.

The KEY is becomming more comfertable with you. Other than that you have to learn to observe other people and then mimic what they do.

Some examples of things I have learned to do by observing: Smack talk. Cook. Chill in a group. Talk to women. Study. Shave after a shower in stead of before.

Lots of stuff. And then on top of that I consistently ask for help or ask my friends why they do certain things...
ME: "Why did you just lie to that girl?"
My boy: "Because man, sometimes you just gotta lie to b*****s, otherwise they'll be calling you non-stop, ya dig?"

Sure I am the little guy of the group but at least I am a part of the group. And Sure I get made fun of for my little quirks but that's because my friends like me. A lot of people don't get that. When people you hang with poke fun at you, it's because they care. And you know poke back every now and again. Say things like "Oh man, you completely f**k that up" or "Nice pass, fag" Sure it's the wrong use of "Fag" but it is also common use for being a dork.

I don't know man. A lot of this stuff you are going to have to figure out for yourself.

Hope this helped,

-Zane


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coregazer
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Joined: 21 Apr 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 492
Location: Uk, England, Cheshire

22 Apr 2008, 3:23 pm

i myself have quite a few friends at school and online. tbh im not that close with anyone at school but they are people to pass the time and sometimes even nice to talk to, i think first inpressions are quite inportant. but thats not to say you've screwed it up by leaving it too late. one guy in my form i know in school is thought to have aspergers... or so i hear, could simply be a rumour, i myself have it and oddly find no common ground with him, as apose to most AS people who i do find common ground with. but alot of how i stay friends with these people is to really try not to act inapropriatly... i also try not to get too atached as when i gain confidence sometimes things go wrong XD. so i try to keep myself semi-detached as mutch as possible or if it makes it easier just try to not be as confident as i am feeling... hard to explain really, but i have a bad personal hygene record, im really ugly and god knows what else is wrong with me but... i still have quite a few friends. i find it really helps to just start with simple things like asking for help with work (especially when you need it, s**t scary at first but you get through that when they turn out to be nice around 5 mins later XD). i hope this helps...


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