Talking to Girls

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I know, I know... I'm sure this has been posted on like nine hundred and fifty thousand times, but I dunno. I feel like my issues are distinct from those of others, so I apologize if my thread topic is redundant.

I'm in college right now and a portion of like... probably somewhere between twenty-five and forty percent of the girls here is hot. But so far I've had basically zero success. There are plenty of girls to talk to; this is a very crowded campus and there are plenty of activities and things in which to participate...

However, I am not interested in any of the activities offered. I've examined them rigorously and found none that interests me -- not surprising since my interests are so narrow. I know that joining clubs or whatever is the best way to meet girls, but I don't want to go just for that purpose when I have no actual primary interest in the subject of interest of the organization. I did however go to a "Spectrum" meeting with my friends who are gay themselves or just have a strange affinity for gay people. It was incredibly akward since I'm not gay and I felt that people in there must have believed that I was. There was this really hot bisexual girl that all the lesbians were just crawling over for attention... Trying to do her hair for her and rub her back or whatever... She mentioned that she had pierced nipples, which sounded awesome to me... Anyways, that didn't work out since like... I didn't relate to those people at all.

I go to parties every Friday and Saturday night... I never really get invited to parties, but there are a lot of open ones near campus and I sometimes go with my group of "party friends" to whom I only speak while drunk out on the streets or in the basement of some frat house. When I'm drunk I'm completely normal socially; I'm really kind of cheery, polite, receptive, and humorous, people say. Though, first of all, I'm spending so much time getting drunk that there seems to be hardly any left to talk to girls, and then there's the fact that most of them are with friends or guys and I am comparatively alone. It's hard to spark a conversation under these circumstances. I would go to parties with my friends from normal life, but they all have friends with apartments or whatever and they don't invite me to their stuff.

The biggest problem, though, is that I don't have "game." Girls want guys to "spit game" and "mack on them." "Get mad bitties," as the saying goes. I mean, I know I'm supposed to say certain things and send certain signals to let a girl know that I want to hook up with her, but I just feel so lame trying to do that... It's just like the problem I have with making small talk. And often girls just sort of think that I'm some nice funny guy that they're not attracted to.

I introduce myself to probably like... ten different girls per night but like... none of them really turns out to be interested. Like... I think they kind of know that I'm approaching them to hit on them, and they like... don't think I'm serious or something... They just think that I'm joking around or doing it for kicks and grins, I guess!

I dunno. What should I do? I talked to this friend of a friend once at a party about how to talk to girls and he gave me some advice that I guess I found really inspiring... I don't remember what it was, though. I think I was more moved by his own personal confidence. I guess confidence is one of the keys, but I'm definitely fairly confident when I talk to girls... not for the fact that I'll be able to hook up with them, but more like... because I know I don't realy have anything to lose.

Well Im not certain I have aspergers but i have the majority of the symptoms I think.

Well I lived the first 8 years of my life in Scotland, born there and never really had any problems with females then I moved to the Isle of Man and I was immediatly bullied at school for being Scottish and I lost a lot of confidence and therefore thus reflected on communicating with girls, I couldn't even speak without getting toungue-tied around them.

Now not long after I turned 14 I began boarding at a school in Shroupshire,England and I thought to myself "Im not going to allow even the possibility of what happened last time" so I tried for a more confident appearence. Now I'm 15 this coming July and have fallen dearly in love with a girl 2 years my senior and we have been going out since last september and I'm what I think you people in North America say: a guy who lost his cherry?

Now it sounds a bit like a miracle story and sometimes it feels like that too but I now know the missing ingredient was confidence, don't even let the thought of failure cross your mind.

P.S: I know the fact your considerably older than me and a 14 years living kid such as myself giving advice may seem a bit messed up but from what I know the culture in N.America is that girls don't start those sort of "activities" untill adulthood so culture is a strong factor.

Hope it helps! - Fergus Macdonald "Something"