Dating sites, girls in general - bad experience so far

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daveybaby
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12 Apr 2008, 10:14 pm

I believe you hit things right on the money. And yes, I have a whole lot of crap I need to take care of with school and whatnot, girls are attracted to at my age, to sports heroes and musicians. I've had a tiny romantic experience I can brag about, that's all I need.

Yes, plenty of people are looking for thrills on dating sites. Its also probably for a confidence boost, so they are better prepared to approach people they actually intend to make-out with.

sgrannel wrote:
I get a lot of junk email from Tagged. I think a lot of the women on dating sites are shills (look up what that means). It's a way to get you to sign up for a match service, supposedly because someone is interested in you, even though they don't know anything about you. Why are they always 21-28 years old? (sarcasm) Others get a thrill out of yanking a college student's chain by leading them on, when they never intended to follow through. Don't take anyone seriously without meeting in person.



ToadOfSteel
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12 Apr 2008, 10:21 pm

Online dating is crap.



sgrannel
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12 Apr 2008, 10:48 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Online dating is crap.


Just like online colleges. (Collages. I went to collage :wink: )



spirited
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12 Apr 2008, 11:25 pm

Ok guys, I agree with most of what I have read here, NT females are money hungry, status hungry, and very in to shoe shopping. But, remember, females do not make as much as their male equivalents. Women have a fundamental need to feel cared for and cherished, and feel secure. When a women asks you what you do for a living, she wants to know 1) do you enjoy what you do, and if not, are you going to take it out on her? 2) is your employment long term, or do you switch jobs alot. 3) are you going to quit/get fired and make her work 2 jobs to cover the bills 4) are you a workaholic who will never be there when she needs you Be ware there are those girls who will marry you just for your money, but there are girls who will love you, too. I have personally been told, especially from religious groups, that its not a womens place to make first contact with a man. the man should approach the women. I have been waiting, and waiting for a man to approach me, online, or otherwise. I personally feel that if I approach a man, i will automatically set myslef up to be used.(again) I wish a nice AS man would ask me out, but you guys are all too shy!! ! Just do it, ok. If the girl says no, than that is that. And tim tex, you are a nice looking man, if we lived closer, I would jump at the chance to date you, even if you are w/o job. (Thats because I don't care too much about money)



MR_BOGAN
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12 Apr 2008, 11:58 pm

spirited wrote:
but there are girls who will love you, too.


You would hope so! 8O

Yep that says it all, a lot of women don't actually love men, they just use them. They are thinking about what is right for them.

Lady I'd use you too. :lol: You have a pretty shallow view of things.

Thanks for you honesty though.


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sgrannel
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13 Apr 2008, 11:39 am

daveybaby wrote: "Yes, plenty of people are looking for thrills on dating sites. Its also probably for a confidence boost, so they are better prepared to approach people they actually intend to make-out with."



OK, here's my policy. I will never resort to personals ads or online dating. That's it, done. I will only seek out women in real life, and then only after I graduate. If I can't make it there for whatever reason, then it will only be worse if I hound someone online who probably gets too many responses as it is. It seems to me that the very act of placing an ad or profile, marks a guy as a loser. Stay offline if you don't want to just be used for practice. What do you think?



Last edited by sgrannel on 13 Apr 2008, 12:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

sgrannel
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13 Apr 2008, 11:43 am

spirited wrote:
Ok guys, I agree with most of what I have read here, NT females are money hungry, status hungry, and very in to shoe shopping. But, remember, females do not make as much as their male equivalents. Women have a fundamental need to feel cared for and cherished, and feel secure. When a women asks you what you do for a living, she wants to know 1) do you enjoy what you do, and if not, are you going to take it out on her? 2) is your employment long term, or do you switch jobs alot. 3) are you going to quit/get fired and make her work 2 jobs to cover the bills 4) are you a workaholic who will never be there when she needs you Be ware there are those girls who will marry you just for your money, but there are girls who will love you, too. I have personally been told, especially from religious groups, that its not a womens place to make first contact with a man. the man should approach the women. I have been waiting, and waiting for a man to approach me, online, or otherwise. I personally feel that if I approach a man, i will automatically set myslef up to be used.(again) I wish a nice AS man would ask me out, but you guys are all too shy!! ! Just do it, ok. If the girl says no, than that is that. And tim tex, you are a nice looking man, if we lived closer, I would jump at the chance to date you, even if you are w/o job. (Thats because I don't care too much about money)



OK, thanks for the tip! Personally, I might have to be careful to strike a balance between #1 and #4, at times these may be in conflict. Don't suppose this fits well with the criteria you pointed out? I used it to sort of point out/make fun of the whole objectification thing, like men objectifying women for their bodies, or women objectifying men for their money. It also makes fun of manners/etiquette.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5hGVbsZ-qs#GU5U2spHI_4



spirited
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13 Apr 2008, 11:08 pm

MR_BOGAN wrote:
spirited wrote:
but there are girls who will love you, too.


You would hope so! 8O

Yep that says it all, a lot of women don't actually love men, they just use them. They are thinking about what is right for them.

Lady I'd use you too. :lol: You have a pretty shallow view of things.

Thanks for you honesty though.

I think you read too much into that one.



HockeyJunkie
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14 Apr 2008, 11:06 pm

Tried it once, didn't like it, ditched her after 3 weeks with silent treatment. We could never get on the same page together. She constantly annoyed me with her paranoid questions and I was never clear if she wanted to be just friends or not. Mind you, I wouldn't even have bothered with her in the first place if she had posted a pic of herself online.

As far as I'm concerned, anyone can make themselves look like a million bucks online by pretending to be something they are not.



sgrannel
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15 Apr 2008, 3:32 am

OK, I think I have resolved how I feel about the whole job/money/relationship thing. Any woman can surely agree to my premise that she wants men to value her for who she is as a person and not treat her like a piece of meat. (!) Similarly, I want to be valued by women as something more than a wage earner, and I will weed out the ones whose vocabulary gets too short when pressed to see anything beyond that. It's the same thing, really.

I have had quite a few interactions with women where the first thing that came up was a discussion of "what I do". The intent I have been reading into that, makes my response even more awkward and slow than it would have been for any other topic. I fumble with it, and probably come across really stupid and insecure.

What's needed is a policy decision, with a model for how the way the question is asked, should be interpreted, so I can respond quickly. I will respond cheerfully when people ask me about the goals of my research, and the nuts-and-bolts details of what I actually do every day. There is a different flavor of intent when someone wants to know about job titles, career tracks, whether I have been getting interviews, how much money I make, where I get my money, business dealings, terms of employment, etc. If I can practice to quickly differentiate these two separate columns of intent, then I think I can get this.

I have decided, as a matter of policy, that I will share the second set of details only with family members and other people with whom a close relationship has already been established. I don't want my economic status to color others' opinions of me one way or the other for the wrong reasons. Some of the most professional people I know would never tell you their salary, because they want real friends instead of leeches, and so I know I'm not the only one who feels this way.



sgrannel
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15 Apr 2008, 3:50 am

HockeyJunkie wrote:
Tried it once, didn't like it, ditched her after 3 weeks with silent treatment. We could never get on the same page together. She constantly annoyed me with her paranoid questions and I was never clear if she wanted to be just friends or not. Mind you, I wouldn't even have bothered with her in the first place if she had posted a pic of herself online.

As far as I'm concerned, anyone can make themselves look like a million bucks online by pretending to be something they are not.


What does this mean, the silent treatment? Did she have any contact with you after those three weeks? Does this mean she ditched you first? Why did she have paranoid questions, and what did she ask? Did you ever meet her in person? What about asking her about her relationship intent?



HockeyJunkie
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16 Apr 2008, 1:06 am

sgrannel wrote:
HockeyJunkie wrote:
Tried it once, didn't like it, ditched her after 3 weeks with silent treatment. We could never get on the same page together. She constantly annoyed me with her paranoid questions and I was never clear if she wanted to be just friends or not. Mind you, I wouldn't even have bothered with her in the first place if she had posted a pic of herself online.

As far as I'm concerned, anyone can make themselves look like a million bucks online by pretending to be something they are not.


What does this mean, the silent treatment? Did she have any contact with you after those three weeks? Does this mean she ditched you first? Why did she have paranoid questions, and what did she ask? Did you ever meet her in person? What about asking her about her relationship intent?


It means I stopped speaking to her after the last argument. We did have a few dates in person and while the dates themselves went along smoothly, she would frequently e-mail me with questions like "What do you view this relationship as?" She didn't seem all that paranoid to me when I would see her one-on-one. I responded by telling her it was my very first time on the dating scene and that it meant a step up for me, then she interpreted it like I was using her to elevate my social status. That's why we couldn't get on the same page. Finally, I stopped speaking to her for two weeks just to get rid of her, so she left me a message saying she hated my guts. :roll: Whatever. As far as I'm concerned, she deserved it for messing with my head for three weeks, and for not posting a pic of herself, and for never making clear about her relationship intent. At least we never kissed or anything, she had looks that would make a struggling beauty parlor turn a tidy profit overnight.



MagicMike
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16 Apr 2008, 1:06 am

Kalister1 wrote:
I would buy her flowers and give it to her in the middle of class. Make sure everyone is watching so they can remind her later how romantic your gesture was.


Why not just buy flowers? Sort through her garbage to see what she likes. Hire Burt Bacharach to sing love songs in your name. Ask her to marry you over school intercom? There are no limits except those YOU state!

On a more serious note, this is utter sarcasm, and you should probably just come clean. Tell her you've been a bonehead, say you think she's attractive in a calm manner. If she rejects you, move on. Be honest, but don't be scary.



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22 Apr 2008, 6:23 am

Last night,I picked 'I am man seeking for a women' and checked 'photo only' option and i sent the age from 18 to 30.

Man, I was so scared....couldn't sleep the whole night,seriously.



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22 Apr 2008, 6:14 pm

LePetitPrince wrote:
Last night,I picked 'I am man seeking for a women' and checked 'photo only' option and i sent the age from 18 to 30.

Man, I was so scared....couldn't sleep the whole night,seriously.


I've found the woman don't look much like their picture anyway.

BTW that is a pretty shitty thing to say. Why don't you date some of them as friends if you are not phsically attracted to them?


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