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paolo
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15 Apr 2008, 2:55 pm

Are you touchy? Do you remember for a long time offences?
I am extremely touchy. Of some persons, inclusive of my parents, I remember only slights and offences, even very light expressions of irritation or hostility towards me. In the case of my parents I remember nearly only offences. Some of these date 60 years back.


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Icheb
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15 Apr 2008, 3:15 pm

Yes, I only forget the good times, never the negative experiences. This doesn't only include slights and injustices, but also all the times I've done or said something regrettable.



sluice
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15 Apr 2008, 4:09 pm

Yes, I do tend to remember 'offenses' like they just occurred moments ago. It is difficult for me to go to my parent's house and the surrounding hometown as an adult, because objects and places tend to bring past events right back to the forefront of my mind. Granted some of things I faced were rather harsh and likely criminal, but others were just slights or thoughtless words that still can evoke pain years later. I hate giving such things power and control years later. I find I can be thick-skinned and resilient about such more serious things leaving me to wonder why.



Belfast
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15 Apr 2008, 6:02 pm

paolo wrote:
Are you touchy? Do you remember for a long time offences?

Yes-I hold some grudges that are reasonable (in my mind).
paolo wrote:
I am extremely touchy. Of some persons, inclusive of my parents, I remember only slights and offences, even very light expressions of irritation or hostility towards me. In the case of my parents I remember nearly only offences. Some of these date 60 years back.

Bad experiences make strong impressions-makes sense from survival p.o.v.-but for our layered consciousness, it's a bummer that produces excess/unnecessary (beyond minimum needed to be useful/instructive) suffering.
My parents are dead-and in a few ways I miss them, but in some ways I really don't. Also have anger & resentment towards people (non-family) who were mean to me when we were teenagers. At least I have nicer people in my life now, something happier to pay attention to & try to fill my brain with memories of.


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brokentoyland
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15 Apr 2008, 9:26 pm

I'm extremely sensitive. I remember every negative thing that's ever happened to me. I think it's normal to remember the negatives more than the positives though. They spring to mind easier when something triggers them. I have learned to forgive in the last few years. It's a life saver. Not perfect at it by any stretch. Some is still a work in progress.


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Kaleido
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16 Apr 2008, 4:29 am

I am still sensitive about the vicar who shouted at me for saying something wrong. He could have mentioned it to me privately. I put it down to misogyny and him being unmarried.



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26 Apr 2008, 7:45 pm

Yes. I'm quite touchy, but not more than the next person I think.


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26 Apr 2008, 11:34 pm

Life happens, but yes, vary.



MissConstrue
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28 Apr 2008, 5:36 am

I guess I get offened pretty easily espeacially when it gets personal. If it didn't bother me, it clearly wouldn't make me feel offended.

There are times when I percieve, but I think it's becoming true, that people offend me more because I'm a female and I come off as blunt. If I have an opinion about something, I try to speak my mind in the best way I can. Yet I notice more people and the majority of them are male, will criticize me in the worst way like the blantant ridicule or the ego-centric hint that I wouldn't know. I'll notice guys using more offensive and stereotypical words than myself and not getting this much criticicism within eachother. It really gets to me, and I don't know how to handle it or know who's right and who's wrong. I know there are better ways of critiquing someone. One is pointing the mistake or problem out and then bothering to ask about it rather than coming off as just a jerk who thinks they know better.

Sorry I had to do some ranting as well as opinionating. I don't think all guys are like that. In fact I've had other guys point it out to me better and agree. I still get offened easily and it's hard not to let it get to me. I'm a sensative person what can I say?


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kaytie
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28 Apr 2008, 9:54 am

i rarely forgive....not by choice coz i've really talked myself into forgiving alot of things that was done to me...but i don't know how to...it's like for me forgiving is a temporary thing and once i'm reminded i get intensely angry. i can't move on.