long distance relationships

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Hey baby. It really is something magical when you meet that special someone though. Everyday that goes by, you find more and more in common and things just keep clicking over and over again, and pretty soon your just completely madley in love with them. I hope all of you can find someone that's as special to you as Aspiegirl87 is to me. It can work, just keep trying and don't give into despair. It's a long, hard road on the way to finding the one.

He is so right. it is very magical when that special someone comes into your life. Once you get to know that person and everything clicks over and over, theres no backing out without hurting either one of you. When you fall madly in love with that person, everything changes and theyre all that you think about. Darkness2004 is right. Just keep trying and looking for that person. Dont give up or give in to despair. Life is a whole lot better once you find them. Good luck all. Love you sweetie.

I got shot down by a fellow Aspie because she said she couldn't do a long-distance relationship, and because my personality wasn't good enough. She never once mentioned anything about character or inner qualities, or being goal-oriented.

It's almost like she'll turn a wonderful, brilliant person down simply because he *could* be an inconvenience to her--something I would never expect from another Aspie.

I've never known a long distance relationship to work. No exceptions, except in the movies. I mean, I have cousins and nephews and nieces I hardly know because of the distance. You have to be up close and personal to force-feed the relationship, so to speak.

Yet if I say:

She must be an Aspie
She must live within 50 miles of San Marcos, Texas
She must be a Christian
She must like the Simpsons and South Park
She must have a PhD

..then I'll never meet anyone.

Last edited by Tim_Tex on 29 Apr 2008, 2:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Obviously, I'm not you, but IF I were you, I'd get rid of some of your requirements. For example, I may keep "She must live within 50 miles of San Marcos, TX" and "She must be a Christian", but I'd ditch the others because I think they are trivial. All they do is create walls around you. But this is IF I were you.

I know Tim. It's rough even when you do find an Aspie. The 1st one I found in Georgia was always out of town doing advocacy work, her phone was broken and never got around to fixing it, and she wasn't the best at writing back with e-mail. Didn't take long for communication to break down there. The 2nd I found in Laredo, TX was a funny story because she actually ended being an NT! She's my best NT friend now. An aspie-phallic if you will. Even since she saw Mozart and the Whale, she became very interested in AS and I feel comfortable enough to talk to her about anything and ask any questions she has about AS. She already had a boyfriend, by the way.

Then I had an NT girlfriend that lived in town for a few months before she completely ****ed up my holiday last year by not spending anytime with me. I tell you something, it doesn't matter who you're with or any other circumstances, if your significant other has better things to do on Christmas and New Year's, it's extremely depressing and makes you feel so unimportant, since you see everyone else you know spending time with whoever's important to them. If you have someone who keeps screwing up Christmas, drop them like a bad habit. It's the best they deserve.

Anyway, I talked an HFA in Austin for about a month online before she found someone else in town. I guess I came on too strong or whatever. Let me tell you something about HFAs if you ever think of dating one. They do not fall quick like we do. You'll have to take as much time and go through all the same motions with them as NTs before they will really open up you and trust you. That's why I love Aspies. In most cases, once both have determined that they like each other, things just start rolling from there. Much easier on the nerves. No sleepless nights spent wondering if she really likes you or not, since most of them are pretty honest and open, some of them even brutally so.

So that's two NTs and three specturn women, before I finally found my baby girl. Believe me, it was a real roller coaster ride. I would feel so elated when I first met one of them, and then go all the way back down to depression when it didn't end up working out. I didn't stay depressed though. I kept trying, because I knew the one wasn't going to just show up on my doorstep one day out of the blue. Now that I've seen how great Aspiegirl87 is though, I'd do it all over again. You just have to persevere guys. It's easy to say by not by any means easy to do, especially for us Aspies.

I had met her in person a few times, and I thought we clicked. I wanted us to hang out more, but school got in the way.

Location and being a Christian I can understand, but there is such thing as quirky, odd NTs. What, exactly, does having a PhD tell you about someone? I wouldn't date someone who was illiterate, but why require such a specific qualification? It's not as if it told you anything about their inner qualities.

Anyone I date must be an exact replica of the woman who turned me down--except she won't turn me down.

You want to make it difficult for yourself, go ahead.

If I had to find exact replicas of any of the girls I've dated or fantasized about in my past, I'd be single forever. There's no such thing as "exact replicas".

I was willing to travel to meet people, but she wasn't.