long distance relationships

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Theres this girl I'm seeing right now at the university I'm at, we've been seeing each other for almost two months now. I really feel a strong connection with her, and I know she does with me, she's told me how she feels, the two of us see us as having a lot of potential to be very happy together.

but, she has a boyfriend at another school, she has been in a long distance relationship with this guy since the end of last school year in may, and he hasn't been putting much effort into the relationship, especially since January, he rarely talks to her. she feels like she would be much happier with me instead of her current boyfriend, but at the same time is afraid of another long distance relationship.

this summer i will be living at home on long island, and she will be living at home in maine, six hours away. next year i will be going to a different school in new york that is only 4 hours away from her home in maine. I'm not worried, because i love her, and i wouldn't want to lose her for some silly reason like this and wonder my whole life what could have been.

but, i have no experience with relationships like this, no experience with serious relationships either, so i cant really judge whether or not it would be a good idea for us to keep our relationship after the school year. i'm asking people who have experience with long distance relationships to share their experiences, give me advice, and to help me make it work please.

I was in a long-distance relationship before. It went well, and lasted nearly 4 years. It ended because we were polar opposites on pretty much everything.

Since I am specifically looking for another Aspie to date, I have no choice but to do a long-distance relationship, because there aren't any Aspies near the school I will be attending who are single, and have the same interests and beliefs as me.

I would only participate in a long distance relationship, if there was a real possibility of eventually meeting that person. I guess that is just common sense.

Personally, I wouldn't get into a long distance thing unless one of us was about to move. Been there, done that and I simply wouldn't put myself through that again.
Ah, the irony - the last girl that rejected me is in a long distance relationship with a guy who she thinks is unattractive and whose personality she dislikes (doesn't leave much, does it?). It doesn't exactly help that she would have rejected me even if she were single (I'm too exotic).

Long distance relationships are /really/ hard, and very tiring in my experience. Both of my relationships have been long distance (previous was Kent->Holland, and current is Oxford->Cambridge most of the time). The first one was mostly conducted over the internet, and probably doesn't count since I only met her once.

My current relationship, I'm travelling three and a half hours by coach every weekend, and then another journey the same to get back to Oxford for classes. I'm the one who travels because I have the most free time, and I had a break down a couple of weeks ago because of the strain of it. It's really hard being away from the one you love as well, especially if you're having a tough time, and need comfort but don't have them physically there (this would be different for people who don't like to be touched, but it still sort of applies).

I've thought many times that breaking up would solve a hell of a lot of the problems I have at the moment. But breaking up would make more, and worse, problems. Plus, I love him, and it's almost the summer holidays when I get to spend four months living with him. (<333)

Anyway, what I'm trying to point out, is a long distance relationship is even more tiring, and stressful, than a normal one. It's not something that should be considered lightly. You need to make sure that you're emotionally prepared for it, and that she's worth it. You need to be very frank: if you're having problems with travelling, then you need to say (and visa versa, if she is you need to make sure she can talk to you about it).

Good luck though! ^___^ I hope things work out for you.

thank you Purplefluffychainsaw

that bit where you said "It's really hard being away from the one you love as well, especially if you're having a tough time, and need comfort but don't have them physically there" it really made me think that she would feel this way, and maybe i should let it be more her decision. I just don't want to see her hurt

I really think this girl is special, i haven't met anyone like this before, and i highly doubt i will ever again, in fact i think it would be foolish to discontinue what we have.

I also feel like if we don't continue our relationship, she will be very unhappy. she will either stay with her current boyfriend who is cold, and doesn't seem able to make her happy anymore and it will eventually deteriorate. or she will break it off with him and just wallow in self hatred, she beats her self up over things a lot and cant stand hurting people (the both of us are people pleasers)

In some cases, long distance relationships cant work but there are also others that work really good. I am currently in a long distance relationship. My current boyfriend (darkness2004: Hi honey) lives in SA tx and Im all the way up here in PA. We met on Aspie Affection and it was like fate. We only met a few months ago in february and we're in love now. I agree that something couldnt work if they didnt want to actually see each other in person. However, we do want to get together sometime soon. I say that long distance relationships work best when you find that special person who doesnt mind the distance either. In our case, the distance is good for relationship building and to get to know each others personalities first before looking at the outside stuff. Its actually helping with strengthening the relationship.

^I agree with aspiegirl87 in that the distance is a good way of getting to know the person beforehand. Long distance relationships can work, as long as the two involved truly love each other. Sure, sometimes they may never meet but in some cases they do. What matters is that the love is there between them. And you never know, they may meet some day and I imagine it would be the happiest experience either of them has ever had. But even if they don't, that doesn't mean they still can't have a relationship.