Innocent people being accused of trolls

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Ephemerella,

Probably one reason that a lot of the vocal people on WP are very negative about their AS is that at least initially, many people come to WP for support and help. Once they begin to feel better about themselves, about their lives with AS, they don't feel like they need the site so much anymore, and they either leave or become less vocal. The ones who really really need the help, the ones who need the social interaction afforded by this particular online forum, they're the ones who will continue to lurk and post here. They're the ones who are more likely to feel depressed or negative, otherwise they won't feel a need to be here. I feel like I fit in the category in my second sentence, as there are times when I feel a bit lonely and I lurk and post here more often, but other times I don't feel like I need WP so much, so I stop for several months at a time. I try to give uplifting but realistic advice to folks, and sometimes they respond well to that and sometimes they don't, and there's only so much any one person, not just me or you, can do in many cases. Also, over time I've come to realize that oftentimes it won't matter exactly what I say or even how I say things, the other person won't be convinced of my point of view. Oftentimes it's because a lot of the logical reasoning and analyses are dependent on our own personal experiences. If one has a very diverse personal experience, the more likely that one will be able to understand another person's reasoning and point of view. If you're talking to somebody without that experience, or who weighs one particular terrible experience much more heavily than the rest of his or her experiences, no amount of rational thinking is going to convince him or her otherwise, as they simply don't believe your logic... and the best one can do in that scenario is to say one's piece and then let it fall however it falls. I know it sucks and for a long time I refused to accept that, but there isn't a choice, unfortunately.

I have read some of the things you have said before about the young male AS group-think, and while I think there are definitely some merits in your reasoning, the idea is never going to be accepted by those whom you accuse as being a part of that group-think, one of the reasons being that they don't have the experience to see things from your point of view, outside of the group. It's kind of like telling a teenager, "you just don't know better and you don't know how real life is." Well yeah, speaking as a 30-year-old, I can say from my point of view that teenagers think they know everything but they really don't. But I'm not doing a service to them by saying it, because they would never believe it and I just come off as a dominant prick (and I'm well aware having typed this that some readers will take offense, but it does work in both directions), no matter how well intentioned I may be. That being said, I don't think this is an issue unique to the "young male AS group," this is an issue for AS folks in general and NTs in general and youth in general, in general it's people who don't have the breadth and depth of knowledge and experience to see things more objectively. And people can only do that by being willing to learn and experience things outside of what one has normally done, and actually spending time doing that instead of mere cursory efforts. So a lot of times our efforts are more efficiently used by directing them somewhere else, and perhaps hoping that the other people (whether it be the young male AS group, you, me, NTs, everybody) will turn around one day. Nothing else anybody can do.

Ephemerella, I generally enjoy reading your posts and feel enlightened when you are willing to share the conclusions you have made from your own personal experiences, and I hope you continue to do that. You have already acknowledged that you have a tendency to talk at people instead of discussing with people, and I don't feel a need to elaborate on that any further. I'm glad that you have sufficient introspection and humility to acknowledge that, and I hope for everybody's own sake that everybody can do that as well.

ephemerella,
yes,it was towards am on Soras' thread,and being told to get off the forum is not the exact words that were used,but that is the message the entire post gave off strongly-was saying exactly what am allowed to go on WP as an LFA,which by the end of the list,was very little,it took the long way around to say 'f-off,this is HF territory'.

no,it isnt a bad thing to defend self,but read through own posts on this thread and will notice it's not just defending but also attacking and baiting-and lots of assumptions about someone do not know.
am may not be able to explain self well,through own problems with language so this may have caused some misunderstanding,but that is no excuse for the s****y treatment.

>edit.
been waiting to edit for a while as it went onto the high bandwith page.

Tantybi,
thanks for the input! prefer knowing about any mistakes have made so can at least learn from them and will admit where wrong.


re.prejudice...
am come across prejudice very often online-and offline so wasn't just thinking of ephemerella,experience a lot worse off support staff.

Technically speaking I'm high functioning, because I don't need to be institutionalized, or have someone come in to help with the tasks of daily living (I'm pretty good at boiling water on my own ).

It bugs me sometimes when various members assume that I'm low functioning, or a whiner, or biased in some way (not sure if I'm putting this right), when the research I've read usually gives an employment rate for high functioning autists of about 10%, compared to about 50% for disabled people in general, and about 70% for the general population. And then if I tell disability activists outside the autism world I'm high functioning they assume I don't have any real problems.

I wish people would remember to keep an open mind about what life is like for others on the site. We all have different experiences, and, among other things, this affects how comments sound to us.

KoR, which was the thread where you thought you were being made to feel unwelcome? (If I've got that right)

I'm male, but I ain't young, and a lot of aspie and autistic females are doing the best they can and finding life very difficult.

It might be better to leave age and gender out of this.

Quoting KOR:

*applauds tantybi*

I must say - very impressed at the change in communication on everyone's behalf.


M.

agrees with the above. ^