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Rainstorm5
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25 Apr 2008, 10:39 pm

anbuend wrote:
Rainstorm5 wrote:
I'm probably going to draw fire for saying this, but I'm a grownup & I can take it.

Question: Why are arguments from other forums being brought over here?


You won't draw any fire from me over that.

I've seen three or four posts recently that worked this way -- took an argument from one forum to another, in public, for reasons other than safety or something.

That's generally a bad idea on the net, it can destroy entire boards by creating factions and bickering. I don't think the new (past few years, as far as I can tell) notion that this is somehow okay, has helped forums on the net at all.


Thank you, Anbuend. I agree - this sort of thing causes too much discord (as I'm sure it's intended to do). I think there's some trolling going on in here and hopefully the person or persons behind it have been warned.


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25 Apr 2008, 11:07 pm

Taking a drama from one board and talking about it on another board can lead people to thinking you're a game player. I dunno why people would think that.

That happened to me last June and I learned to never bring one problem to another forum and rant about it. Because lot of us knows about autism speaks and I'm sure lot of people over there know about this place, if they saw your post Chimchar they can think you're a game player.



MJIthewriter
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26 Apr 2008, 3:28 am

Chimchar, I've read your posts there and now here. You are not representing ND either.

I'm sorry to say that, but I read through your posts and I found them offensive too. I'm going to go out on a whim here, but I honestly don't think Droopy is anti ND (with some of the concepts), it is how the people approach her and other members on that site that turns her off.

Think about those door to door religions... I am Christian, but I personally find the idea of forcing a religion on another person to be offensive. If you wish to convert people, lead by example and follow what you preach. Who knows, the person may come to like your character and want to be like you. Then they may be open to becoming a believer.

Any other way is not going to work. If you want people to see ND in a positive light, you have to follow what you preach. As far as I know ND does not make any distinction that would indicate LFA people don't think in words and communicate nonverbally, and be unable to write books, like you stated on their forum... The way you came across was just as offensive...

Bottom line: A little bit of respect goes a long way. And yes this means respecting people you disagree with and people who you personally may feel don't deserve respect....



Chimchar
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26 Apr 2008, 9:14 am

I don't care about ND, but I'm not against it. I joined speaks for myself and see if I can get some help there. How can can get better in life despite autism, but everyone there is rude and bigoted.

I have been very nice and patient with her, and despite that she did nothing but insult me. And when she insulted me with that ignorant "almost" autistic statement, I told her that I did not appreciate that. If she doen't care, why should I care about her LFA, so I called her a ret*d. If she wants to be rude to me, then I'll just be the same.

I



augustus
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26 Apr 2008, 9:17 am

lol? im sure hitler took exception 2 teh jews too. why did they take over the eonomy in teh 1st place?



[godwins law invoked]



CityAsylum
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26 Apr 2008, 9:47 am

Chimchar wrote:
If she wants to be rude to me, then I'll just be the same.

You could just stop going back for more, if it's troubling you.

Bringing another website's forum into WP to do battle here, when the people involved are at Autism Speaks, and then posting it and re-posting here is just pointless, and you are only dragging out the issue, not resolving it.

At some point you should just drop it, or go back to that forum and resolve it there.



MJIthewriter
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26 Apr 2008, 10:55 am

Chimchar wrote:
I have been very nice and patient with her, and despite that she did nothing but insult me. And when she insulted me with that ignorant "almost" autistic statement, I told her that I did not appreciate that.


Maybe the better question is to ask her why and let her explain why she thinks you're less autistic than her. It doesn't mean I agree with her. I may be just as offended as you, but I found giving someone the chance to explain, may give more insight why she thinks that way.
-----------
This is just my imagination here, but this is the impression I've gotten from her posts and stories:

She's had a very rough life. She's had to live in institutions and thought to be severly ret*d.
She was almost 30 when she learned how to type. That helped show people that she wasn't stupid. Before then, people likely never thought she was capeable of thinking any kind of thought process, much less be able to understand words or read.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fw3bLQjapxI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emPvLtOEs4Y
She does have a problem with Amanda Baggs but I'm just going to let that go, because honestly I don't know... It'd be nice to get both sides of the arguement, but otherwise I'm just going to leave it at that. Either way both Amanda's video and her video taught me something I was wondering are nonverbal autistics able to think in words even if they may not be able to speak them. (I remember just before I learned to talk at age 4 I thought I could speak but when I ask my parents they tell me I didn't. As a result I've pondered if it is that way with many nonverbal autistics.)

That aside, she also has physical limitations as well. She has trouble walking and she can't speak verbally.

Here comes someone who is able to speak, walk, and otherwise look normal in her eyes. Of course from her perspective she's going to view these people less disabled than her. She doesn't think of autism in the same way that some aspies think, because her life didn't really allow her to see the strengths associated with her autism as much as the weaknesses. Is she a little bit cynical? Yes... Does it justify her attitude, probably not. I don't agree with her, but I respect her.

Another thing, when "aspies" come over and talk about their strengths, of course she's going to think there's nothing in common, (same with the parents there too.) After all these people don't suffer the same things she does (and with the parents these people appear to be nothing like their kids). A bit of understanding would help both sides. Talk about your struggles, and don’t say they are anything like hers, even if they are something in common. But if you try to lash out and defend yourself rather than try to understand, you're not going anywhere. And by posting a topic calling her a "guy" and that she is "pissing" you off encouraging more people to jump on her, of course it's not going to make her feel any better.



Chimchar
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26 Apr 2008, 11:03 am

Thank you for elaborating on that. I do feel sorry for her. When she claims to be autistic, I thought she was a troll, and she's lying,.



MJIthewriter
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26 Apr 2008, 11:14 am

Quote:
Thank you for elaborating on that. I do feel sorry for her. When she claims to be autistic, I thought she was a troll, and she's lying,.


She probably thought the same when you came on. To her you may be just one of many potential trolls that came over from wrongplanet to attack the parents there.

It's sad, but first impressions work on the internet as well as in real life. Thankfully you don't have to do eye-contact and worry about all the nonverbal stuff, but you still have to choose your words very carefully. I've learned that sometimes the hard way when joining different online communities. If you start posting links to your blogs, products, referrals, in your first several posts, you'll be thought as a spammer. If you start off appearing harsh, then you'll be thought as a troll.

If you come off rather neutral, you'll stand a better chance of not offending people. Although I do find out even with the best intentions, I may offend someone and be offended. Some days I'm more mature about it than others. If it was me who offended someone and I know why, I try to apologize quickly. If it is someone who offended me, on the days I do better, I pm the person who offended me and ask in a non threatening matter and non aggressive way why that post they made bothered me.

It could be the person was sarcastic and didn't really mean what they said... I have trouble with sarcastic posts. If I can I'd like people to put warnings on those posts so they don't get read the wrong way.

And you'll find there are a few members that can't re reasoned with... I don't bother with them after awhile. They aren't worth my time. I can't change their mind and I can't open a mind if it is locked shut. When they are more open, I'll approach them later.



Chimchar
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26 Apr 2008, 12:00 pm

No, I think i oughta go back and apologize.



silentchaos
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26 Apr 2008, 3:54 pm

To be honest I found some of the posts by both you and droopy to be rather irritating. Neither of you made much sense in my opinion. People DX'd with LFA or mental retardation are apparently capable of intelligence and success, even if the DX was accurate. And just because someone is less affected or seems less affected by a disorder,disease,whatever doesn't mean that they do not have it... If I see someone in an ER that says they have a broken arm I am not going to say " You can't have a broken arm and are just making it worse for us with real broken arms. Look at my arm the bone is sticking out, THAT is a broken arm! Your arm must be bruised or something....".



supahneko
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26 Apr 2008, 4:01 pm

SilverProteus wrote:
Edit: and the more I ignore them, the more they harass me through sockpuppets. :roll:

You have me interested...



RPM
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18 Apr 2009, 6:27 pm

Chimchar wrote:
I don't care about ND, but I'm not against it. I joined speaks for myself and see if I can get some help there. How can can get better in life despite autism, but everyone there is rude and bigoted.

I have been very nice and patient with her, and despite that she did nothing but insult me. And when she insulted me with that ignorant "almost" autistic statement, I told her that I did not appreciate that. If she doen't care, why should I care about her LFA, so I called her a ret*d. If she wants to be rude to me, then I'll just be the same.


I am a Christian too and while I understand the issue of defending yourself, as I have had to make efforts to defend myself, but it is not nice to call people ret*d.

You can tell someone they are acting ignorant, or acting mean, or you can tell them don't speak to me, but to call a person ret*d, that is where I draw the line and say don't call anyone the r word (not even if they really are the r word).



Abu_Zarqawi
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18 Apr 2009, 6:46 pm

how is having someone talk for you the purpose of neurodiversity?



richardbenson
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18 Apr 2009, 6:47 pm

autism speaks can suck my left nut. what a horrible site, not worth visiting at all