Help with workplace romance?

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So ive been working at costco for the past year and a half and theres something that i feel should be rectified, for the sake of my own well being/work environment.

Ill just recap;

After about 6 months of relatively mundane(torturous) packing at this gargantuan store, i noticed that there was a new batch of employees, which the NTs commonly refer to as being ``fresh fish``.

I usually never bother with greeting these people, unless forced to or being spoke to first.
But this time, i noticed one of them.
She was slightly dorky looking, yet amazingly attractive. With the kind of girl next door looks and the spunky attitude of someone suffering from ADD (my weakness, for some ungodly reason )

As with every crush ive been exposed to, i considered actually introducing myself to this amazing,hyperactive creature,
but ultimately did what we do best faced with these situations, retreat.

Another of those days heh?

To my complete and utter amazement, she actually started hanging out around me.
It was subtle, but i still couldnt figure out what all this attention meant.
I figured she was the overtly social type, liking to have as many contacts as possible or whatever.
But one day i was doing my own thing, packing away whilst zoned out and distracted, and i felt something being inserted in my pocket. I go on break, look inside and see her msn and phone number written on this tiny, shrivelled-up piece of paper.
So that pretty much confirmed it!



Fast forward a few weeks, weve been talking casually on msn and the phone for the past week or so and things seem to be going fine.

-We both draw/paint
-Were into the same movies and music(hardcore,metalcore,etc)
-We were both completely obsessed with anything relating to the Nightmare before christmas( i actually got jack tatooed on my upper arm )

To my dismay, i knew i had to make the so called ``move`` or at least reveal my intentions, but figuring out how to do so was quite the b***h.
Then comes one of my friends from work, he invites me to go out of town for the weekend, wanting to hang out and ultimately go shopping ( little did i know, he wanted something to do/talk to whilst driving for 2 hours for some casual sex )
We arrive at his friends house, we get drunk, they decide to go clubbing.
I HATE clubbing and will never do so unless forced by gunpoint.
So i stay and decide to go on good ole Msn (IM, for my southern brothers)

There she is!

So, in some radical moment of pure NT courage/stupidity, i decide to come clean about my feelings for her ,and without any hesitation, she responds the exact same way!

The next few weeks were smooth sailing.
Like every first week of every relationship i try to form, she thought i was really shy and it seemed adorable.
We saw eachother at work , but she lived quite a great deal away from where i resided so this gave me the chance to work on what i had to say/do to keep her close, whilst simultaneously keeping my distances.

Then came the dreaded first movie.

Turns out she was an openly declared pothead,and that she felt like smoking before seeing Pirates 3(Which was horrible,dammit.)

See the thing is with me and Cannabis is that we dont get along all too well.
Im sure im not the only one to have experienced this,but i usually have these existantial/paranoid badtrips that can last for a couple of hours. Weed seemed to amplify my feelings of loneliness and made me feel completely cut off from the world surrounding me.

We toke, then go inside and to the movie theater where we sit down.
I felt so horrible, constantly convincing myself that EVERY single person surrounding us was one of her friends, there to laugh at some horrible prank she had orchestrated.

Naturally she was trying to get closer and cuddle, but i was having this twisted panic attack and pushed her away(not literally)
I wasnt even watching the movie, i just felt like getting the f**k out of there as fast as i could but felt that it would hurt her if i did.
I stood my ground, but she seemed to be moving further away and getting increasingly angry.

I was tempted to explain to her what was wrong , explaining what AS was and that she never did anything to cause this, but that seemed highly irrelevant at that point in the evening.Though now thinking back, i should have.

The next day, we were working the same shifts and i couldnt stand the sight of her.
I felt so ashamed and terrible about what had happened that i couldnt even focus on my tasks and ultimately went to my boss and asked her if i could leave. I saw her on my way out and we crossed eyes, but i just walked away.

She called me that same night telling me what an as*hole i had been and that anything we had going on was pretty much wrecked. She also told me she didnt understand why i could do this kind of thing and that she even thought i was just messing with her head.(irony?)

-Epilogue-

Naturally, both of us working in a crowded place, Gossip ensued.

They apparently had their own side of the story. (and by they, i mean the complete filth i have to work with everyday)
Apparently, the girl i liked was a maneater.
And that we broke up because i refused to participate in any kind of sexual intercourse this early in our relationship.(! !??! !?)
Where this came from puzzles me to this day.

But the fact of the matter is that she seems to hate me for apparently spreading these rumors and branding her a ``slut``
But i HATE gossip and i think many of you can relate to that.
Its been 7-8 months now.
So now we dont speak to eachother, every approach insanely akward.
I desperately want to clear this up, because i feel we could have had something going if it wasnt for all the meaningless gossip spreading around.

But what i really need help with is this;

These past weeks, she seems to be constantly staring, and this when im around.
I always feel her gaze on me but i cant differentiate whether this is some kind of signal or the infamous``stink eye``,whatever the hell that means.
I just cant read her.

Help would be insanely appreciated

I would email her the contents of your post. She can only forgive you for the day after your date if she knows why you were like that, and you did a pretty good description just now. I have no clue what the looking might mean - but there's a good chance she'll tell you since you mention not knowing why she does it. Good luck!

Stupid question: Did you ever apologize for brushing her off during your first date?

Both of you should stop smoking pot.

Thats the thing, i hate it.

I had just hoped i wouldnt have this reaction to it when around her.

And no, i havent apologized for that said night, let alone even talk to her for more than 30 seconds.

You could try explaining the reaction to the pot and apologizing for using it when you knew that you have bad reactions. You don't need to explain the AS if you don't want to at this point. The rest of what happened is on her back. For yourself, stay off of the weed.

If she is a maneater you may want to reconsider a relationship. The type and level of gossip indicates that she may be a toss-back. Maneaters know how to play people and have all kinds of practice at it. If she wants to try again, proceed with caution. Tell her small things and see if they become common knowledge before you tell her anything big. In any case, the gossip will eventually turn to someone else.

I hope this works out well for you.

thanks people

this actually kind of puts things in perspective

If your not into a slu*ty girl then don't care. I mean, she's not the type of girl for you obviously.

Well, no offense but you kind've deserve it. You treat a girl like crap, she tells you she thought you treated her like crap, and then a year later you still haven't straightened things out.

Even if you had a really good reason, the girl's not a mind-reader.

Ouch?

<shrug>

Live and learn.