Finding Love
Basically, he said all love is is "reverse valuation" (he claims to have actually told his wife that he "reverse values her" when they got married). Normally, when you value something, you say how much it is worth to you and how much better it will make you off. To reverse value means you view that item as how much better off can you make it. In other words, o reverse value someone, you value their happiness and well being greater than your own. Many people who claim to love do not actually reverse value and as such do not really love the other person (interestingly or not, I've personally noticed many people appear to reverse value their children, but not their partner). An application of this one of my other professors noticed noticed is you should ask yourself if you are capable of reverse valuing someone; if presently you think not, then actively seeking "love" will likely end in disappointment (of course this requires being very unbiased).
Personally I have my own system and Dr. Rustici has some good points there.
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"You are the stars and the world is watching you. By your presence you send a message to every village, every city, every nation. A message of hope. A message of victory."- Eunice Kennedy Shriver
Last edited by JerryHatake on 02 May 2008, 11:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Just to clarify, reverse valuation is love.
I don't know if I'll agree with that...
It's the waiting for love thing.
Let's see...
Times I've gotten a GF by doing nothing about it: 0
Times I've gotten a GF by making an effort: 1, and close a couple other times
I think the latter strategy shows more hope of having a partner.
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I don't know if I'll agree with that...
It's the waiting for love thing.
Let's see...
Times I've gotten a GF by doing nothing about it: 0
Times I've gotten a GF by making an effort: 1, and close a couple other times
I think the latter strategy shows more hope of having a partner.
Everyone is different and so is their dating styling.
Same thing with effort here as well.
_________________
"You are the stars and the world is watching you. By your presence you send a message to every village, every city, every nation. A message of hope. A message of victory."- Eunice Kennedy Shriver
I remain exceedingly skeptical of this theory of "reverse valuation" . To love is care about someone As Much as yourself. Valueing someone MORE than yourself is obsequious and codependent. Women seem to be Really turned off by such men. They see guys like that as needy and lacking self-respect.
Reverse valuation is not the same thing as being needy or codependent. A good example is probably more on the lines of willing to trade your life for theirs if it comes down to it type of thing (something most needy guys probably would not do). Many people who are "in love" will do something that their partner wants to do (even if they don't) because they reverse value them (of course it normally goes both ways). I've seen girls reverse value guys (my coworker has a few girls pursing him), and they are not needy nor lack self-respect (quite the opposite in most cases); however, he doesn't reverse value any of them which is probably why he hasn't acted on it (as he says he could have a "good time" with some of them, but that isn't his goal).
Do you like Kakashi!?
Used to but this was a name of a character I made for a book.
_________________
"You are the stars and the world is watching you. By your presence you send a message to every village, every city, every nation. A message of hope. A message of victory."- Eunice Kennedy Shriver
Last edited by JerryHatake on 04 May 2008, 8:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I apparently I still have feelings for my friend, Michelle. Though she with her ex again, I just can't get rid of them. We're friends and all. Maybe she realize something about our friendship when we get together over the summer break. It is a hopeful chance for it to happen. I'll take a shot there if something happen between us like that.
_________________
"You are the stars and the world is watching you. By your presence you send a message to every village, every city, every nation. A message of hope. A message of victory."- Eunice Kennedy Shriver
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