Why do people stare? Do people stare at you?

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arielhawksquill
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31 Jul 2010, 1:15 pm

Joe90 wrote:
... and I don't swing my arms or anything like that. I walk just like everybody else. And I still get looks.


Wait, that might be it--everybody else DOES swing their arms when they walk. It counterbalances the weight shifting from foot to foot and preserves the forward momentum. If you are walking with your hands glued to your sides, that's probably part of why they are staring.



CockneyRebel
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31 Jul 2010, 1:22 pm

I know why people stare at me. They're jealous of my good looks. 8)


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OneStepBeyond
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31 Jul 2010, 1:55 pm

yeaa, I always catch people looking at me and i hate it. i think its probably because i have creepy eyes and always look nervous, which i spose draws peoples attention to me. i also think i just look generally awkward and out of place in most situations which i dont spose helps. i try avoid looking at people



persian85033
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31 Jul 2010, 6:24 pm

IdahoRose wrote:
I like staring at the people I love. It annoys them pretty bad, though.


Same here. I'd always stare at people who teased or bully me. It annoyed them and there was nothing they could do about it. At least in class. It was the only way I could get back at them, as I wasn't good with getting back at them with words, or getting into a fight. It'd upset them really bad when I stared. Plus, it usually got them in trouble, not me. They would be mad, and even say things to me in class, and the teacher would give them detention, or 'ground' them. I simply stared because I was thinking, and some people do that while they think, my teachers always said.


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happymusic
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31 Jul 2010, 8:27 pm

Yes people tend to stare at me. It was awful in nyc when I lived there. I always looked up to find someone on the subway staring at me like I was a television set. I eventually became desensitized to it - let them stare, it doesn't matter a bit and I usually end up forgetting.



richardbenson
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31 Jul 2010, 8:28 pm

dude everyone in my town has a staring problem too. i think people are looking for a fight or are jelouse of you somehow



TeaEarlGreyHot
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31 Jul 2010, 8:33 pm

People are always staring at me. My husband thinks I'm being paranoid, but I catch them doing it! Everywhere I go, at least one person stares.

At this point, I have given up trying to figure out why. I dress pretty normally for the area I live in and don't have anything about my appearance that's outrageous. Maybe it's the way I act? IDK... but whatever it is I hate it.


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luvmyaspie
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31 Jul 2010, 9:10 pm

EvilKimEvil, I'm going to add strength to what other people have already suggested:

Firstly, there are those who stare, hateful stares, out of jealousy. They are the frustrated ones who wish they had the courage to dress just like you do.

Secondly, there are those who stare out of admiration, like IdahoRose 8)

To all others who stare for other, malevolent, reasons..as velodog so aptly put it...they can piss up a rope!

I say hold your head high. Its better to be looked over than to be over looked. This is one of my favourite sayings and will probably be etched on my head stone after I die... compliments of my children who hear me say so all the time. :lol:

Kris94, I found what you said about little children interesting. My 14 year old aspie feels the same. He growls at them, like a rabid dog, if they go anywhere near him. Trouble is, most of them find it funny and always go back for more... :?


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Lecks
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31 Jul 2010, 9:55 pm

Because I make jerky motions to the music I listen to when I go outside. I also tend to close my eyes for what's been referred to as "an irresponsibly long time" in an attempt to block out aditional sensory input and really get into the music.

Just my guess though, I've never asked anyone.



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31 Jul 2010, 11:05 pm

Not sure of the science behind the staring, but I know people stare for sure. I am often accused of doing so myself, though I never intend to. I do space out often, though, which may lead people to think I'm looking at them for long periods of time.



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01 Aug 2010, 1:05 am

Im socially awkward.
I say so many stupid things.
I freak out over something pretty minor.
Tempting to wash my hands over and over again (OCD).


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Rocky
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01 Aug 2010, 1:36 am

hartzofspace wrote:
I once asked an NT friend why people stare. He first assured me that most of the time, the stares mean absolutely nothing. And that sometimes people are just waiting for an acknowledgment of their existence; a greeting, a nod, or a smile. Still, it is annoying when they stare.


That's an interesting theory. It could be related to why some NT's like small talk: for the reasons you mentioned. If they don't get a greeting, nod or smile (which could initiate small talk) they stare. The stare is either surprise due to a lack of a nod or smile, or their way to try to force you to do so.

Staring back is one way to make them stop, but of course, that requires eye contact. I sometimes have problems with eye contact, but not in that situation. Briefly meeting their gaze is usually sufficient to make them stop. Little kids are different, though. They will keep staring regardless.


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01 Aug 2010, 5:50 am

Stop and stare. I think I'm moving but I go no where.



Joe90
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01 Dec 2010, 4:43 pm

arielhawksquill wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
... and I don't swing my arms or anything like that. I walk just like everybody else. And I still get looks.


Wait, that might be it--everybody else DOES swing their arms when they walk. It counterbalances the weight shifting from foot to foot and preserves the forward momentum. If you are walking with your hands glued to your sides, that's probably part of why they are staring.


That's not what I meant.
I meant I don't swing my arms about, as in flap my hands or throw my arms in the air (in other words, ''stimming''). I do move my arms when I walk, but I do it like everyone else does, not in a way what makes me stick out like a sore thumb.


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Joe90
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01 Dec 2010, 4:52 pm

Also - I really don't get it. People have told me that I must give off vibes, which is why people stare.
If I did give off vibes, why does it have to result in getting odd looks? I thought you only get odd looks when you're doing something weird, like dancing about in the nude or something. When you're just walking along, minding your own business, what vibes are there to get off, and if so then why do people have to react so strongly to somebody who gives off a few silly vibes? I'll understand it if I stimmed a lot, but I never stim. I walk up straight, with my arms moving by my sides, in a steady relaxed walk. What does it matter if my face looks a little plain? Why do people need to stare just because of that? I'll get more looks and laughs if I walked along with a grin on my face, or some other attitude. And anyway - I've seen other people walking along with a plain face. You have to look plain when you're walking by yourself. My face only gives off positive expressions when I'm walking along with someone, because usually a positive expression means a social expression.
And anyway, where I come from, people aren't very friendly. We don't normally say ''hello'' to everyone we pass (unless we know them), and if I did speak to everyone I passed they will probably become freaked out. So when they're staring they're probably not expecting anything. They just stare because they don't know what else to stare at. But I'm very paranoid, and once I've got myself into this paranoia, it's hard to become ignored. So when people stare at me, I get all put out, and I start looking down at myself and looking in a little mirror to see if there's anything negative what is catching people's eyes. But I shouldn't thinkso - I wear fashion, and I walk up straight and....ohh, what is the matter with people these days?


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