My wife doesn't understand my meltdowns

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Its hard to explain how the prospect of a simple family outing to the grocery store can send me into the dark bathroom on the floor rocking in the fetal position. Even AFTER we've both pretty much established that I have AS, she still doesn't totally get it. And being that we're both parents of many children, she gets stressed as it is and has little patience when her grown husband turns into a baby, if only for a few minutes. I'm trying to help her understand how she can lovingly catch it from happening and use words to keep me from spiraling out of control, but unfortunately some of it involves mind reading as I can't verbalize a lot of what's going through my mind when it happens.

Just tell her you get too overly sensitive- sensory.

Yeah, sensory overload is hard to explain.

I've tried saying that the kind of nervous breakdown the frazzled CEO of a failing company might get after months of working 70 hours a week, I somehow manage in 15 minutes of bright lights, loud noises and social niceties.

The CEO needs a long holiday and a counselor. I just need 5 minutes alone somewhere quiet and someone who can ask if I'm ok and be understanding.

'Fingernails on a blackboard' is a good thing to compare annoying sensory input to.

The funny thing is, usually one thing like going to the store might not be a big deal at all. But if you factor in other things that are racing through my mind, for instance today it was the fact that I hadn't exercised yet (a big deal for me), it was already almost 5 and half the day gone, the house was a mess, I should have made plans to go to my uncles birthday party but didn't cause I suck, my wife getting impatient and frustrated and wondering what the hell I wanted to do, etc. etc. I just couldn't stand the thought of leaving the house with all the kids, etc. I retreated and hid away. This happens often, actually.

i would try this way:as is in brains and what it does when u get too much everything at once? normal goy would just ingore it all or leave but we cant order our brains to ingore it results:meltdown