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aww, you're sooo cute!

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techstepgenr8tion
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19 Oct 2005, 9:01 pm

Same story here. Most girls think I'm this adorable nice guy and it scares me when they say "Your such a good boy" because I always end up feeling like that's gonna come back and burn me. I also think it builds a major obstical because they set their adorable niceguy expectations of my personality and when your an aspie, even if they're right about that, you're still not gonna be what they expected...


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“Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. I use the word "love" here not merely in the personal sense but as a state of being, or a state of grace - not in the infantile American sense of being made happy but in the tough and universal sense of quest and daring and growth.” - James Baldwin


RettDevil
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20 Oct 2005, 12:14 am

hecate wrote:
about 90% of people who meet me assume that i'm shy (i can assure you that i'm not- unless i'm speaking to someone that i really admire), about 5% of people who meet me assume that i am rude / aloof (i'm definately not, in any circumstance) and the other 5% of people who meet me say "aww, you're so sweet!" which makes me want to tell them to f**k off. ugh, it's so patronising. it makes me feel like someone's pet gerbil, or something.

anyone else get the same response?


EVERYONE thinks I am younger than I am (v. tiny, v. little face, big eyes), and this plus handwringiness leads them to believe on first meeting me that I'm a shy retiring 7th or 8th grader. Usually not too bright.

Then they talk to me like I'm not too bright. Oops. Then I become an aggressive butthead, or aloof, depending on mood at the time.

"You're so cuuuuuuuute" makes me want to BARF.



Last edited by RettDevil on 26 Oct 2005, 2:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

techstepgenr8tion
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20 Oct 2005, 7:50 am

I think in my own life my features must be sharpening at least a little (lol, almost 26, it's about d--- time). Maybe back when I was 20 or 21 I notice something real aggravating and I think it at least lasted till I was 23 - the only women who were interested in me REALLY lit up but unfortunately it was on that axis where they thought I was this adorable disney character, really wanted to think that my personality dittoed that, and when they found out otherwise they just didn't understand me or why a guy would act like that and not have that kind of personality. Lol, back then I also had an issue from the other side - the types of girls I liked were a bit more like me inwardly but they were also a bit more in the hardened crowd and even though they usually liked my personality when they got to know me, they also usually gave me some hard looks off the start and never completely were able to get arround it. The nice thing is that right now, for the first time in my life, I'm starting to feel like I'm commanding a bit more respect from both sides (I'm thinking the things I've meant to change in my outward presences I'm finally getting my way with a bit more) and it's great - I hope that at least leads to someone liking and respecting me for me rather than having that big rift of misunderstanding on the way I look vs. who I am.


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“Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. I use the word "love" here not merely in the personal sense but as a state of being, or a state of grace - not in the infantile American sense of being made happy but in the tough and universal sense of quest and daring and growth.” - James Baldwin


Knight-Errant
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20 Oct 2005, 7:51 am

Can any other guys here sympathize with constantly being in the "nice guy" free counsellor box with women?

I've had to consciously give up helping women too much with their personal problems cos they were just using me and throwing me away so much.



pooftis
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20 Oct 2005, 3:02 pm

I'm engaged to someone from a very loud and *constantly invading each others space* kind of family, and they have told my fiance for years that they think I am standoffish or being rude. He's tried explaining to them that I'm just not wired that way, apparently "I'm not trying hard enough to be normal" lol. (honestly, if that is normal, I'm much happier like this.:)


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I hate hearing, "you don't seem autistic/aspie". I have a nagging suspicion most people have no idea what autistic or aspie "seem" like in the first place...