Poll on neurotypical recognition of Autist emotions

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Have you had neurotypicals mislabel your emotions?
Poll ended at 13 May 2008, 2:10 pm
Often 71%  71%  [ 42 ]
Occasionally 22%  22%  [ 13 ]
Rarely 7%  7%  [ 4 ]
Never 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Total votes : 59

slowmutant
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11 May 2008, 7:25 pm

Do you think it's possible, Merle, for you not to have this tough front put up? If this pains you, then why not learn how to be friendlier and less off-putting?

If your facial mask misleads and frightens and you want that to change, I'm sure you could learn to emote normally.



sinsboldly
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11 May 2008, 8:08 pm

slowmutant wrote:
Do you think it's possible, Merle, for you not to have this tough front put up? If this pains you, then why not learn how to be friendlier and less off-putting?

If your facial mask misleads and frightens and you want that to change, I'm sure you could learn to emote normally.


When I am surprised or startled, making sure my facial mask is showing a non threatening, friendly acceptance is probably not the first thing I am thinking of. I am mostly trying to get a grip on my first response, defensive fear, while adrenaline is dumping into my bloodstream and my blood pressure shoots up. With my ears roaring at the sound of the blood pumping, I have to determine if it is a threat ,and if so, is it physical, mental or emotional? (if it is not a threat, then determining it will come in second to calming myself down from the startle)

Already poised for fight or flight I am grasping at the shreds of what ever composure I have so I try to regulate my breathing while remembering that I might be in a relatively safe situation and the worst they can do is fire me and have me escorted out of the building (if it is my supervisor) or handcuffed and taken to jail in a patrol car (if it is law enforcement) and being beaten and robbed again if it is the tough guys in the back of the bus.

for me, that is emoting normally, slowmutant
if you know how to get over it, bring it on! I would love to have an easier time with it.

Merle



hartzofspace
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11 May 2008, 9:21 pm

wow, Merle, you described perfectly how I feel when subjected to an entirely unexpected social encounter. And I didn't even know it was all that, until recently when my counselor helped me to see it. Recently, I was wondering why it took me about 15 minutes to calm down when I opened my back door to put out the trash, and my neighbor spoke to me unexpectedly from the gathering dusk. I nearly jumped out of my skin, because I wasn't expecting anyone to be there. I don't even want t think about what expression was on my face at that moment.

To answer the OP's question, yes, I am constantly asked why I look so serious or angry, when I am in fact, feeling pretty mellow. I once tried to smile at a group of girls while in high school, and they proclaimed that they were frightened by my smile, and sure as hell wouldn't want to cross me! 8O I was about as dangerous as a nun. I have been accused of sarcasm, manipulation, and rudeness when I was merely trying to communicate or seek information. :roll: My default facial expression is probably angry or confused looking.


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slowmutant
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11 May 2008, 9:25 pm

There are much worse things in life than unexpected social encounters. Much worse things. Are we gonna have group therapy for the victims of social encounters now?

Puh-leese.



sinsboldly
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11 May 2008, 9:36 pm

slowmutant wrote:
There are much worse things in life than unexpected social encounters. Much worse things. Are we gonna have group therapy for the victims of social encounters now?

Puh-leese.


well, I can tell by the tone of your response you have never been raped, you probably haven't been arrested or beaten, either. These situations ALWAYS start out as social situations and if you have never had a 'social' situation escalate out of control into violence, degradation and physical harm, then just back off and count your blessings.

Merle



hartzofspace
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11 May 2008, 9:41 pm

sinsboldly wrote:
slowmutant wrote:
There are much worse things in life than unexpected social encounters. Much worse things. Are we gonna have group therapy for the victims of social encounters now?

Puh-leese.


well, I can tell by the tone of your response you have never been raped, you probably haven't been arrested or beaten, either. These situations ALWAYS start out as social situations and if you have never had a 'social' situation escalate out of control into violence, degradation and physical harm, then just back off and count your blessings.

Merle


Thank you, Merle. I was not going to be so nice. PTSD can haunt you the rest of your life, as I am sure you know. Some people on here need to think before they post. I'll leave it at that.


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sinsboldly
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11 May 2008, 9:45 pm

hartzofspace wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
slowmutant wrote:
There are much worse things in life than unexpected social encounters. Much worse things. Are we gonna have group therapy for the victims of social encounters now?

Puh-leese.


well, I can tell by the tone of your response you have never been raped, you probably haven't been arrested or beaten, either. These situations ALWAYS start out as social situations and if you have never had a 'social' situation escalate out of control into violence, degradation and physical harm, then just back off and count your blessings.

Merle


Thank you, Merle. I was not going to be so nice. PTSD can haunt you the rest of your life, as I am sure you know. Some people on here need to think before they post. I'll leave it at that.


that's OK, Hartz, even people that haven't had the world come crashing down on them deserve compassion, too.

Merle



slowmutant
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11 May 2008, 9:51 pm

I didn't expect that Merle would euphemize rape, arrest, and beating as "unexpected social encounter." No, I can't claim to have experienced these things. Obviously I haven't got the whole story here.

Merle, had I known you'd had these awful experiences, I would not have been so insulting. I apologize for what I said. Your choice of phrasing mislead me.

I'm sorry for your misfortune.



sinsboldly
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11 May 2008, 11:30 pm

slowmutant wrote:
I didn't expect that Merle would euphemize rape, arrest, and beating as "unexpected social encounter." No, I can't claim to have experienced these things. Obviously I haven't got the whole story here.

Merle, had I known you'd had these awful experiences, I would not have been so insulting. I apologize for what I said. Your choice of phrasing mislead me.

I'm sorry for your misfortune.


you never know to whom you are talking to here, slowmutant. We come from many different backgrounds and being Aspies, who can have a more different background than us? ;)

So no, I usually don't tell people of the ordeals I have endured. Why would I want to estrange people more than I can't help but do? So I am not 'phrasing to mislead' so much as keeping that horribly mutilated creature hidden from damaging current social relationships. Sort of like keeping my clothing on in polite company, or not pooping on the carpet, we do what we can do not to rock the social boat.

The fact that your initial choice was to be insulting was that is something I hadn't considered.

But you can see how easy it is to misconstrue other's reactions when we really don't know their back story, nor can we imagine living with it every day if we can imagine it at all. It could be by the expression on their face or their general 'vibe' that we judge them by only our own experiences, so think that they are just making a big deal out of nothing. "Over reacting" is the term that gets used a lot with me. I am such an 'over reactor' and I need to just 'chill out'. They have no clue, nor should I have to give them any 'clue' and really damage their opinion of me further to TELL them why either. Maybe they should just not judge so people won't judge them, either.

Which is the whole point of this thread, wouldn't you say?

Merle


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Anna
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11 May 2008, 11:54 pm

slowmutant wrote:
I didn't expect that Merle would euphemize rape, arrest, and beating as "unexpected social encounter." No, I can't claim to have experienced these things. Obviously I haven't got the whole story here.

Merle, had I known you'd had these awful experiences, I would not have been so insulting. I apologize for what I said. Your choice of phrasing mislead me.

I'm sorry for your misfortune.


Whether or not she had awful experiences is no reason to be insulting. I'm glad to see you've apologized. Perhaps you might consider such things in the future when you decide how to respond to others here. If you're going to assume anything, assume you don't know the whole story. That's about the only thing that it's safe to assume.



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12 May 2008, 12:02 am

[quote="slowmutant"][/quote]

Please stop challenging and questioning people who respond to this poll. You've done so repeatedly and I'm really unhappy to see it. This isn't the place or the time. I just hope that your posts haven't caused people to avoid responding.



Detren
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12 May 2008, 10:22 am

Everyone sees me as happy. Part of the reason, I think, is that I have learned to just show that. (even when aggravated, frusterated or semi-angry. It is very rare that I am angry.)

On occasion, however the mask does slip when I am just plain content or enjoying myself (I do show as ecstatic when I am really happy.) I was at a Disturbed concert, listening to music and probably swaying a little and everyone kept asking me if i was okay. I just kind of blinked at them, no clue what I looked like.

If I am too stressed out though, I just zone. I stare blankly at things for a little while. No clue what people see there as well. The people closest to me will give me a couple moments and wait for me to come out of it or tell me I'm zoning and help me out.



Afroman
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12 May 2008, 9:38 pm

Hmmmm yes it happens to me.....

ppl seem to think im pissed off sad bored or high most of the time......

But rly most of the time im just.... well im not sure what im feeling its just a sort of calm



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13 May 2008, 3:47 am

slowmutant wrote:
Do you think it's possible, Merle, for you not to have this tough front put up? If this pains you, then why not learn how to be friendlier and less off-putting?

If your facial mask misleads and frightens and you want that to change, I'm sure you could learn to emote normally.


You are making strange comments for an aspie.


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darkstone100
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13 May 2008, 7:46 am

most people think i'm sad or depressed, although i'm just fine.


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sinsboldly
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13 May 2008, 9:14 am

nannarob wrote:
slowmutant wrote:
Do you think it's possible, Merle, for you not to have this tough front put up? If this pains you, then why not learn how to be friendlier and less off-putting?

If your facial mask misleads and frightens and you want that to change, I'm sure you could learn to emote normally.


You are making strange comments for an aspie.


ah, but he would be hard pressed to define 'normally,' though.

Merle