can someone help me with a kid quandary?

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Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Age: 61
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,004
Location: Northern California

19 May 2008, 3:26 pm

webwalker wrote:
Unless you have exceptional resilience or an almost unlimited amount of resources, I don't recommend having more kids after have one on the spectrum.


Well then, I guess it's a good thing I didn't know my first child was on the spectrum until after I had my second.

I cannot imagine life without either of them, and I can see them being a huge help to each other in adulthood. There is so much yin and yang between them. She is strong in so many areas he is utterly hopeless (as well as vice-a-versa), and they build each other up. OK, that's in between driving each other crazy but, long run, there is more good than bad.

Absolutely, having a second child complicated things, and if she was AS like my first it would have complicated them even more. If I had known so much about my son that I know now, there is a good chance I wouldn't have had the second. But in my case I'm calling ignorance bliss. God withheld all sorts of information from me that likely would have led to a different decision (I have pregnancy related hearing loss, as well). I have no regrets about having a second child. None.

Mom to an amazing AS son, who recently graduated from the university (plus an also amazing non-AS daughter). Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).


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Joined: 23 Sep 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,485
Location: new england

21 May 2008, 6:05 am

everyone on earth would do well to understand their own limitations......

had my hubby and i decided to not have anymore children based on our oldest's dx, we would not have our NT son.....or our potentially AS daughter.........

we all learn to deal with what we're given. if you have great hesitations over having more children, then don't have anymore. some days it is VERY difficult to deal with more than one kid on the spectrum. but for us, the days that are AWESOME outweigh the days that stink.