Is trying new things stressful? Does it make you depressed?

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marshall
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19 May 2008, 11:43 am

At most of the restaurants I go to the waiter/waitress knows what I order by heart. It’s gotten to the point where I feel self-conscious about it. I also haven't learned to cook much for myself because it's too stressful to try to cook something out of a recipe book.

I would like to find new food choices that I like but my decision to have the same thing always prevails in the moment. It’s very difficult for me to take the risk of ordering something I might not like when I’m hungry.

I also hardly ever try new restaurants that I’ve never been to before. I know I’m probably missing out on good food, but it’s just impossible to make myself go through the stress of trying something new. It never feels worth the effort in the here-and-now.

It goes beyond food as well. I also hate looking for new stores to shop at, new clubs / activities to participate in, etc. I think the only time ever try new things is when I’m with other people who make the decision.

I feel my inability to deal with this is making my life incredibly boring/depressing. Yet I don’t know how to change myself. I just can’t take charge to try new things when I’m alone. It also doesn’t help that I’m constantly stressed with graduate school work. When I’m stressed with work I’m even less likely to go out of my routine.



ouinon
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19 May 2008, 1:06 pm

Me too, I get that. Know it and sometimes hate it. Sometimes it can seem funny, cosy, etc, like the clothes i wear over and over again, but sometimes it's almost scary, like i've turned into a robot.

I was going to ask how you got to know the restaurants you eat at already, but perhaps they were the result of going with other people?!

Sometimes I find a burgeoning/new interest pushes me out of a rut to try something different. It sort of reassures me as well because it supports the try-out, makes it make sense.

I read that falling in love is a good one too. But a new interest/obsession can be enough.

Changing my diet helps too, because it often shifts my mood/feelings, and forces me to shop differently aswell. So my dietary changes for allergy/intolerance reasons also function as a "variation" mechanism.

But sometimes nothing is moving because I am too tired. sometimes just sleeping in/staying bed extra hours, even a whole day if you can manage it, gets cogs turning again.

:study:



Last edited by ouinon on 20 May 2008, 2:43 am, edited 2 times in total.

ebec11
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19 May 2008, 1:51 pm

When I make the choice and can control the change, I'm usually fine (with only a bit of anxiety)

When change is thrusted onto me without my knowledge, I freak out easily :evil:



Tim_Tex
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19 May 2008, 1:52 pm

I actually enjoy trying new things.


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merrymadscientist
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19 May 2008, 2:21 pm

I love trying new food - Food did used to be one of my obsessions (and recipes etc) and I would buy a book or magazine and try every single recipe until I'd done them all. Same with restaurants - I would always choose the most unlikely and interesting thing on the menu.

However, with other things I do get stuck into sameness and routines that I long to break out of. One thing I could suggest - can you get hold of a copy of the menu for some of these restaurants. Then you can predecide what to eat when you are at home - choose something different and make yourself 'plan' that you are going to choose this thing when you get to the restaurant. Maybe you can start at the top of the list and work your way through the list each time you go (this would work for me because I like the order involved in planning and working my way through lists). As long as there are no ingredients in the meal that you really dont like, then you can try and look forward to your new meal. Even write down what you are going to have before you go, so that even if you cant say something new, you can show the waiter what you have written. Of course, if the menu has changed and what you have newly chosen isnt on there any more, then I certainly wont blame you for going back to the old favorite.



MrSinister
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19 May 2008, 6:19 pm

ebec11 wrote:
When I make the choice and can control the change, I'm usually fine (with only a bit of anxiety)

When change is thrusted onto me without my knowledge, I freak out easily :evil:


Yeah, same with me. I can recall several occasions where change was thrown at me like a fastball made me explode.

Not very flattering for me, I can tell you...


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Rainstorm5
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19 May 2008, 9:39 pm

marshall wrote:
At most of the restaurants I go to the waiter/waitress knows what I order by heart. It’s gotten to the point where I feel self-conscious about it. I also haven't learned to cook much for myself because it's too stressful to try to cook something out of a recipe book.

I would like to find new food choices that I like but my decision to have the same thing always prevails in the moment. It’s very difficult for me to take the risk of ordering something I might not like when I’m hungry.


I can totally relate to this. I am such a creature of habit that when I go into the store up the road from my house, I always buy the same things, regardless of time of day. Every clerk there has my stuff sitting on the counter waiting for me when I walk in through the door. The Taco Bell people know my car and when they see me pull into the drive-thru, a bored voice asks me, "The Usual?" I reply, "Yes, thank you." "The Usual" is a spicy chicken burrito, an empanada and a large Pepsi. I have a series of restaurants I visit because I like certain things from different places. I don't mind trying a new restaurant, but oddly enough, if it comes time to visit one, I can't bring myself to go there alone. I end up dragging one of my kids or my husband with me. they are, in effect, my 'stress-buffers.'

Quote:
It goes beyond food as well. I also hate looking for new stores to shop at, new clubs / activities to participate in, etc. I think the only time ever try new things is when I’m with other people who make the decision.


Same kind of anxiety here, but I will go in as long as I have someone with me.

Quote:
I feel my inability to deal with this is making my life incredibly boring/depressing. Yet I don’t know how to change myself. I just can’t take charge to try new things when I’m alone. It also doesn’t help that I’m constantly stressed with graduate school work. When I’m stressed with work I’m even less likely to go out of my routine.


I don't find it depressing at all - I like certain things to be a certain way. It's when I'm forced to try something new that I get stressed about it.


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Ryn
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19 May 2008, 9:44 pm

I dislike trying new food. I want to be confident in where and what I eat and knowing I'll like it. My family doesn't mind, though.


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kleodimus
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20 May 2008, 12:32 am

i feel angry if someone tries to force me into something new