*§*AS-Parent Support Group*§*

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My son is undiagnosed (waiting...waiting..waiting..) AS. Upon researching I've realized I share many many many traits. I don't plan to seek diagnosis for myself but I consider myself AS.

I don't regret my choice to have kids. I am an amazing mom. It's my passion, and my kids are wonderful and the biggest joy in my life.

I'd like to see such a forum.

Reading this thread has been such a comfort to me. That I/we are not alone in the challenges of being AS and parenting.

I would LOVE a permanent place for this - that is only for Parents who have AS, with children who do or do not have spectrum disorders.

I love being a mom.
Yes its hard. Yes I hate being forced to be social. I have over stimulation issues, Question myself as a parent, Wonder If i'm doing it right, exc.. I worry, I complain sometimes, I find it hard when my daughters friends are over, and I can barely hold myself together dealing with NT "professionals" who want to help my newborn son with problems that he doesnt have. But being an AS inclined parent can be a good thing too. I know things that I believe NT parents wouldnt think about. I try to understand my children instead of assuming that they are stupid or too little (or too anything) to understand. When one of the kids has obviously had a bit too much, we turn down the lights and talk, or read, or meditate and de-stress together. I keep figgit toys, (they are just cool) I know how to stop a meltdown in the kids, because I know what helps me, and That gives me an advantage. I have learned to accept that there is nothing you can prepare for when It comes to kids. and that I have more to learn from them then I have to teach them. All in all Its been a positive expereince. I do not know If my children have inherrited my quirkyness, but I hope they can find a way to accept their own. Being weird is a good thing in this family. and not being weird is ok too. as long as your being yourself.

I don't know whether the poll meant by AS Parents: "Parents of those with AS," "AS folks that happen to be Parents," or, in all probability, "Both of the above."

I am neither, but I have AS and I help out a group of "Parents of those with AS" in my local community located in Fargo, ND. I was invited by the parents support groups to be a resource, and I've obliged them for the past two years on a pretty regular basis sans. A contingent of them might respond well to a reliable online place to mostly rant about that stuff. Idk.

Ah. Okay. That makes more sense as I saw the forum for parents already. I'm actually very new to this despite having an account that's over a year old.

I cannot outright imagine parenthood because it scares me at a fundamental level.

However, I do help a neurotypical parent group (that have AS children) enough to know that there's a very bizarre social pecking order just among parents in regards to cross-expectations and providing rapport. More bizarre than the stuff I see in the workplace or recall seeing from my time in college. Just the idea of forcing kids into "playdates" while the parents talk about small talky things for an extended period of time brings an innate fear.

Good luck?

Yes, I have an AS son. I am not diagnosed AS (not assessed) but I am definitely not neurotypical. Being the non NT parent of an AS child has it's benefits, for one thing I really understand what he experiences with social issues. I have my own difficulties negotiating life and while there's a lot I've learned, there's a lot still I need to learn. I'll try to do my part in keeping this thread active, because I think it could be useful.

I have always let my son come to things at his own pace. Sometimes it seems like he will hold on to something forever and then one day he will decide that he's ready to let it go. This was true of his pacifier and also with potty training. The present issue is he can't get to sleep unless I am with him till he falls asleep. He's 12 by the way.He is visiting his grandparents in another part of the state and is having a hard time sleeping in a strange house. The available guest room is on the basement level far away from the master bedroom. He is too shy to ask his grandmother to make other arrangements so I have emailed her. My question is, do you think it is best to let him come to things when he's ready? I think most would say I was indulging him but I'm not sure if forcing change on an AS child is the right way to go. What do you think?

I agree, but this thread never seemed to get off the ground. I am pleased to see another AS-ish single mom here. My son is 12 and I have been sole parent since he was 9 months old.

I'm not sure why this thread never got off the ground because there are many here who are AS or suspect they are with AS children.I admit I don't post often in the parent's forum, maybe because I think he's wonderful just the way he is and I only want to help him learn how to navigate an alien world while still being true to himself. I tell him the way I've learned that things work and even if it doesn't seem to make sense it is to his advantage to understand it. One example is this: I have noticed in NT male culture it is common for a certain kind of teasing to happen. I realized it was some sort of unwritten test to see how resilient someone is. My son has never been able to tell the difference. He takes it all seriously and reacts angrily and then he is bullied afterwords.
I admire you for homeschooling. I don't think I could pull it off with my difficulties with executive function. I work and my son receives SSDI and with that we live right below the poverty level. The funds from the SSDI enable me to work at reduced hours (about 32 hours a week). I am lucky to have a job with flexible hours so I can easily get errands done in the middle of the day. My big problem is I cannot operate at the same level as most people. I don't feel it when I'm out there in the world but it must drain me because when I get home I feel exhausted and must nap before I can function again.
I wonder if people simply do not notice this thread. I think it would be nice to have a separate forum rather than just a thread but I don't know if Alex would go for it.

I applaud what you're doing, it can't be easy.