Aspies, do you ever feel tension from others?

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Rainstorm5
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28 May 2008, 7:58 am

Most times I don't notice if someone else is tense, especially if they're male. Women tend to be more judgmental of me than men do, so I guess for that reason I pay more attention. It takes me a while, but if I start noticing things like people sitting on the edge of their seat, fidgeting, rolling their eyes, etc., I then begin to feel tension myself. I can't tell if someone's just bored, irritated or angry with me and just not saying anything. I despise headgames (maybe because I'm lousy at playing them), so I try to ignore it all. When I finally do notice, that's when I'll ask, "Have I done something to irritate you?" If I get a 'No, don't worry about it" type of reply, I may or may not let it go, depending on the gender. Maybe it's sexist or just simple observation of the human condition, but in my experience, when men say they're OK and don't have a problem, there usually isn't anything wrong. NT females, however, expect others to be able to read their minds. Pretty sad, considering I'm female myself. I don't expect people to be able to read my mind, however. Otherwise, I'm fairly oblivious to other people's emotion.


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Bradleigh
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28 May 2008, 8:03 am

im male, and often when i say im ok im not and hope that they will be able to know



Rainstorm5
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28 May 2008, 8:07 am

Bradleigh wrote:
im male, and often when i say im ok im not and hope that they will be able to know


You're a rare bird, my friend. Most men I know will usually come right out and tell me if they have some kind of problem with me. It might be an Aspie thing, though. Aspie men tend to keep their feelings to themselves. Unfortunately, though, most average people aren't psychic, so we have to speak up once in a while whether we like it or not.


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deadpanhead
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28 May 2008, 9:11 am

SotiCoto wrote:
The need to test their limits and amuse myself with their stress is one I do endeavour to avoid acting on.


I truly do appreciate that. Thank you. It is a help to all of us.



craola
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28 May 2008, 10:19 am

I pick up on tension a lot, I think I often misread it though for something else, often anger or disappointment at me.



veruniel
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28 May 2008, 11:26 am

craola wrote:
I pick up on tension a lot, I think I often misread it though for something else, often anger or disappointment at me.

I know how you feel. I sometimes get a little paranoid and think tense feelings are directed at me when they actually have nothing to do with me.



WhateverDude
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28 May 2008, 12:15 pm

Yeah, I do that to my sister a lot. Annoy her just for the kicks. Don't know why. Well now I do.