social phobias, anyone?

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There's a great Far Side cartoon of an auditorium full of scientists (all of whom have glasses, lab coats, and the other accountrements that scream "scientist" in Cartoon Land), one of whom looks surprised and sheepish. The caption reads, "Suddenly Professor Liebowitz realizes he has come to the seminar without his duck." Everybody else has a duck in his lap.

No matter where i go or what i do i fear that someone is going to ask me for a stuffed ardvark and i'm not going to have one and theyre going to be pissed at me for me not knowing to bring a stuffed ardvark.

I hate lines,crowds,and parties pretty much anywhere with lots of people. don't have much problems communicating face to face but i don't like the telephone and talking to random people.

Someone explain this to me:

How can you be "really" social phobic, but go to college, pull decent grades AND be married.

I won't mention that this girls husband is a half-dead diabetic, who's overweight and double her age. What really shocked me is she said this "I'm not married to him for the money, or because he's handsome" I'm going to assume love, but she never mentioned it. Go figure.

Well...I DO have Social Anxiety Disorder if that counts as anything...


-SpaceCase

The closing line of Jean-Paul Sartre's No Exit should be the motto of an AS forum, as it perfectly describes how we feel in social situations. While my social phobia has abetted in recent years, I remember when it was almost crippling, and I sympathize with those who still feel that way. But it can get better, with a little effort and finding people who understand and want to help(the latter can be difficult, though).

It's Aardvark . TWO As, you hear ! (said me with a scrunched up face and an intent look in me eye, which, of course, you wouldn't have noticed because you cannot look me in the eye anyway)

I am so sorry. I tried to stop myself but I couldn't.
Please don't be mad and please understand it isn't personal.


Where was we?

Oh yes. Social thing. Oh the pain of it.
I used to hang out with a group of people back in my twenties who were cool enough to let me do my thing. So, I'd be found sitting on my own in the corner while everyone else would be dancing or standing around talking etc. I'd talk too, every 40 minutes or so and that was just about bearable. I still didn't come out as often as they did but it was good fun. Most of the time I prefer to just listen and if I am out somewhere where it's loud, I usually cannot even hear myself think.

I think it all depends on people you are with. Ever since I moved out of London I have been meeting really boring people. I am sure the fact that I am boring too doesn't help.

Oh yes. I almost never open the door and have actually said on more than one occasion "sorry, I don't open my door to strangers" through the closed door or from a window.
I don't mind talking on the phone as such but it usually starts hurting my head because of the sounds etc,

I have difficulty with phone conversations. I have to write down what I'm going to say in advance to the Pizza people or a business. With family, friends or aquaintences, where I can't script the conversation, I just go blank.

On the other hand I do fine with answering machines, voice mail and such. I know exactly when to start and stop talking.

I'm surprised so many people don't like the phone...I thought I was the only one. Actually, more than I hate the phone, I hate answering machines. I always forget the relevant info - like my name, number, or why I called. I have to write down what I'm going to say or I bungle it all up.

I dread going out to get groceries, or go anywhere unfamiliar like a government or insurance office. It actually helps if I get a little tipsy before going out - I find it balances out my anxieties. Hey, I'm not the one on trial here.

-AA

Edit: heh...I didn't read the post before mine. Holy crap we're alot alike.

I have had a phone phobia since childhood. It is not so bad talking to family or close friends (the few that I've got). Talking to strangers eg. handymen or asking favours on the phone just about does me in. I could not survive in a call centre for even 5 minutes!

On the other hand, I have had some good conversations with people who were wrong numbers and I don't mind interactive voice mail or message banks.

I get terrified that someone will be rude on the phone and if they are, I just freak out. If not then, I do later on. Same if someone is rude in a shop or elsewhere. I used to always internalise the rage and embarrassment but now sometimes I bite back. I'm also afraid of feeling angry and of fights (unless I know I can win)

Being with a lot of strangers can be intimidating. I don't mind going places with people I know except when there are unexpected loud noises. People talking in loud voices can hurt my ears and cigarette smoke of some kinds makes me cough and wheeze. Parties and nightclubs can be very daunting.