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techstepgenr8tion
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03 Nov 2005, 6:23 pm

Just a question to anyone who's as connected to music as I am, do you find yourself constantly having to fight back the urge to connect certain songs or tracks to people you find attractive? Its especially aggravating when a lot of these same tunes give me chills and almosty bring tears to my eyes as it is and then my mind wants to add that in - irritating because when I end up connecting it to something in my outside reality that a). I have no control over connecting with quite often, b). outside of those mental panoramic stillframes that person, in reality, is nothing like what I'm envisioning at that moment (more like their beauty in unrealistic extraction) and c). the music is something way deeper, more timeless, and dererves better than to be wasted on associations like that - that person also didn't write it and odds are they may not even like it. Even moreso it's just me trying to evade the pain of where I'm at and trying to psychologically refocus everything I find beautiful in the world to a plain completely non-attached to anyone really of the opposit sex (well, only if it's heartbreaking to think about). My thought is there's too much pain and sorrow to feel in life, the more you let that pain or sorrow from beautiful visions and thoughts completely unfullfilled the more you make yourself come off as desperate, and the only way you make yourself attractive is by vibing with absolute sincerity that you could give a damn about whoever it is that you technically would have feelings for. I'd say I'm getting better at that kind of rerouting but still, it's aggravating and it's enough to streamroll my mood for a while if I'm not careful.


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Mithrandir
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03 Nov 2005, 6:38 pm

techstepgenr8tion wrote:
Just a question to anyone who's as connected to music as I am, do you find yourself constantly having to fight back the urge to connect certain songs or tracks to people you find attractive? Its especially aggravating when a lot of these same tunes give me chills and almosty bring tears to my eyes as it is and then my mind wants to add that in - irritating because when I end up connecting it to something in my outside reality that a). I have no control over connecting with quite often, b). outside of those mental panoramic stillframes that person, in reality, is nothing like what I'm envisioning at that moment (more like their beauty in unrealistic extraction) and c). the music is something way deeper, more timeless, and dererves better than to be wasted on associations like that - that person also didn't write it and odds are they may not even like it. Even moreso it's just me trying to evade the pain of where I'm at and trying to psychologically refocus everything I find beautiful in the world to a plain completely non-attached to anyone really of the opposit sex (well, only if it's heartbreaking to think about). My thought is there's too much pain and sorrow to feel in life, the more you let that pain or sorrow from beautiful visions and thoughts completely unfullfilled the more you make yourself come off as desperate, and the only way you make yourself attractive is by vibing with absolute sincerity that you could give a dam* about whoever it is that you technically would have feelings for. I'd say I'm getting better at that kind of rerouting but still, it's aggravating and it's enough to streamroll my mood for a while if I'm not careful.


Aggravating?
I would have never thought so. In fact, music calms me down. Unless you listen to loud angry hard rock...
Could it possibly be that you have one song stuck in your head at a time? That is aggravating, expecially a bad song like "Barbie Girl."
Lots of people associate music with certain people and places.
Ah, you feel lots of sorrow in your life.

Try listening to emo, that will definately calm you down. For me, I get way too anoyed.
Humour works really well.
I recommend "Because I got high"



Serissa
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03 Nov 2005, 7:44 pm

I can make very stong song-person or song-time-period connections. It can render some songs unlistenable for me. I feel your pain.



hecate
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03 Nov 2005, 8:47 pm

songs often remind me of certain people / times in my life. usually i will connect a song to a person when i like them. then they will do something that reveals what a horrible person they are, corrupting the song in the process. :evil: it's even more annoying to think that, while i feel over-whelmed with memories and emotions when hearing certain songs, it is unlikely that the person in question will even hear the song (some of my favourite songs are quite obscure). i live in hope that one day someone will associate a beautiful song with me! that's probably the most romantic gesture i can think of- far more meaningful than someone who just says "i love you" all the time.

the song that i am obsessing over at the moment is "say it ain't so" by weezer (i first heard it ages ago, but i finally got around to getting a copy)- i've played it about twenty times today! it reminds me of my stupid dad but i don't want it to! :evil:



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03 Nov 2005, 8:57 pm

I make very intense song/emotion, song/situation in life, song/person, etc. connections, as well. Like Serissa, this can make songs I love unlistenable for me.



danlo
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03 Nov 2005, 9:50 pm

I'm not a people person; songs don't get connected to other people, for me. Often, though, a song will connect itself with the state of mind I have at the time I listen to it. Not just songs, but things like TV shows, books etc. I find there's a lot of songs that make me melancholy and depressed, though, which is a pity, because I really like those songs a lot.



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03 Nov 2005, 9:51 pm

Music is very powerful for me, but I don't fight these connections.
I find they are great memory cues, so they can bring back powerful emotions years later, which can be painful, or can be really beautiful.
I know what you mean about how it doesn't have anything to do with reality, but I think it's perfectly natural. Art is all about extracting and idealizing reality.

I heard something interesting on a radio show once that sort of expained these intense emotions. Smells are particularly strong emotional or memory cues, and apparently it's because our rational minds are so visually oriented. These other senses like sound and smell can skip that rational level and dig right into your emotions.
Ever catch a whiff in a crowd, of the perfume some girl used to wear?


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techstepgenr8tion
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03 Nov 2005, 10:21 pm

spacemonkey wrote:
Ever catch a whiff in a crowd, of the perfume some girl used to wear?


Lol, yeah, it's instant deja vu.


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03 Nov 2005, 10:31 pm

Mithrandir wrote:

Try listening to emo, that will definately calm you down. For me, I get way too anoyed.


Most people cry to emo.


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pooftis
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03 Nov 2005, 11:59 pm

I get in song "grooves" and then later if I hear a certain song can't differentiate it from that perios of my life. (I'll listen to the same song over and over, does anyone else do this?)


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spacemonkey
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04 Nov 2005, 10:27 am

Yes I hit on a song that resonates with my current state of mind and then I play it repeatedly. People have found this very annoying in the past.
Now I usually only do it when I am in my car alone or something.


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techstepgenr8tion
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04 Nov 2005, 12:31 pm

spacemonkey wrote:
Yes I hit on a song that resonates with my current state of mind and then I play it repeatedly. People have found this very annoying in the past.
Now I usually only do it when I am in my car alone or something.


See, when I'm feeling kinda depressed, bleak, desolate, or other times when I'm in a really strong, confident, or even kinda sentimental mood I like it. I may not play a song over and over but I will at least make it a point to listen to it when the link between that mood and that song dawns on me. On the other hand though, it just bugs me when it's gauging me in areas of my personal life that I technically (enough NT friends would wear up and down otherwise) can't do much about.


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04 Nov 2005, 3:12 pm

techstepgenr8tion wrote:
On the other hand though, it just bugs me when it's gauging me in areas of my personal life that I technically (enough NT friends would wear up and down otherwise) can't do much about.


Yeah, I live with one of those NTs. He's explained it to me - you see, it's really quite simple. If you're consciously aware that you're doing something that's not 'normal' (in other words, you understand what the problem is), then you should be able to just stop doing it and start acting normal. Just modify your behaviour... *sigh* If only it were really that simple.



techstepgenr8tion
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04 Nov 2005, 3:25 pm

lol, I can't spell - they'd *swear* up and down, not that I lack confidence but they really think the reason I get so many rude responses from women is because I don't look confident. As long as it's like that and as long as all the women in my life are ironclad on a guy either looking confident or having issues, no inbetween or other option, it's that feeling like it's still my fault in one of those defacto-truth kind of ways.


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04 Nov 2005, 5:34 pm

I've ruined two of my favorite songs this way, those being Daft Punk's "Something About Us" and "Digital Love", both off the album "Discovery"



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04 Nov 2005, 11:32 pm

Yep, and NTs really just can't comprehend the reality of that disparity between *looking* one way and *being* or feeling something else (and why you can't just change/fix it if you know what the problem is), even after living with one for 9+ years. At least when it comes to my NT, this stuff just seems to hit one of those cognitive blindspots. At least for the most part I'm dealing with people I know from day to day and somehow it all seems to work out ok... it's a lot worse for you when it's getting in the way when it comes to issues like women where first impressions can be so important.