The Charismatic Aspie

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I must be charmastic then although people have called me a retard. They go, what are ya a retard.

^Not alone.

People have naturally find there way towards me (not being a narcissist here, for once!), and I can only explain it as some part of the "hidden" charisma that I have. I certainly don't go out looking for people to "make friends" with.

Well maybe JR your just too hot

Alrighty, now I leave with the happy face and I'll probably get mobbed by the chicks on bikes. Thanks!

I don't think charisma is so readily defined as some people are making it on here -- if it were then a person could just decide to be charismatic, or decide not to be, and I'm not so sure that can be done. (Although I am pretty sure that people can be more at some times than others, and the same person might be considered charismatic by some and utterly uncharismatic by others.)

I have seen pretty much the full range of charisma among autistic people as much as any other trait. And I'd be hard pressed to say why some are charismatic and others are not, I just know it when I see it. It could even be that there are many different reasons behind it, but all having a similar result. I can even sometimes see relative levels of charisma in online writing, although that's harder than in person.

It's possible to be charismatic and AS, but it would be a different kind of charisma. It would be like Sam in Benny & Joon. And that can be practical, it can definitely help one find a mate.

Its just the way you play it - you gotta work with what your got.
Im good at being charismatic in some ways but hopeless in others and yet that all depends in what mood Im in too and if Im feelin kind of dizzy I dont what to say and Im like the girl with "the lights on but nobodies home" - no one finds that appealing unless theyre trying to take advantage of you but us aspies are much smarter than what some people may think so look out when the snake bites.

Sam is a really good example.

Some things that can lead to charisma besides things that have been mentioned:

1. That kind of quirky charm that Sam has in that movie. For those who haven't seen it, most of it is visual so you can see it in this video even though the video doesn't show the dialogue:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dieh2ndy2s[/youtube]

Or for that matter the Youtube clip I posted to another thread of Jordan from Real Genius shows another kind of quirkily-charming sort of character (I used to be told I resembled her, personality-wise):

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQkf-LmsGZw[/youtube]

2. I've been told that strength of character, and commitment to finding out the truth (even in the absence of knowing it), can lead to a certain kind of charisma.

3. Being original in certain ways.

4. Not caring what people think, or appearing not to care.

All of which could be as common in autistic people as in non-autistic people.

mmm I'm not sure you can separate out a 'non religious' charisma. It is essentially a spiritual quality that attracts followers and seems to produce copying behaviours. I wanna be like him/her, I want what s/he's got sort of thing.

Before I heard of Asperger's I was writing up a disability pension application on the basis of being charismatic, and that it made it impossible for me to live a normal life. Glad I didn't have to go thru with that one, it's a very difficult subject to research, not a lot of really good stuff out there on it. Of course it's in the eye of the beholder too... but the way people carry on around me at times was very bizarre, running out and buying the same clothes, seeming intoxicated etc etc. I think Max Weber has some interesting work on charisma - he defines it thusly: ...a certain quality of an individual personality, by virtue of which s/he is "set apart" from ordinary people and treated as endowed with supernatural, superhuman, or at least specifically exceptional powers or qualities. These as such are not accessible to the ordinary person, but are regarded as divine in origin or as exemplary, and on the basis of them the individual concerned is treated as a leader.

I don't know that it got me any more boyfriends than the average person, but it works differently in women, it's regarded as a bit scary, evil temptressy or witchy I think. If I had a dollar for every time I've been suspected of being a witch, I'd be a very wealthy woman today.