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equinn
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23 Jul 2008, 5:36 pm

What is your opinion regarding "social groups"? My son seems adverse to it and even acts out negatively, saying rude things intentionally to the other kids. I really don't want him in the social group (run by social worker at school) because I don't think it's healthy for him, or benefiting him. They disagree.

They talk about feelings and expressing how thye feel, and I know this just isn't for my son.

My son isn't a talk about feelings kind of kid and I think it takes him way out of his comfort zone I think more authentic gatherings would be more beneficial-like sports, instrument, drawing-his interests.

I'm really going to pass on the social group. Am I crazy to do this? It seems like every kid with an ASD is put into some kind of social group. It's not working for my son.

Opinions?



Sora
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23 Jul 2008, 6:24 pm

Our local ASD centre has them for kids and adults. I believe also for teenagers. It seems to work for some autistic people, because the groups still exist and frequently do an activity or teach social skills that are best taught in groups. The kids probably just play a little.

I, on the other hand, have never been to any group like that. I don't like group activities to socialising in such an artificial environment. And if they were talking about thoughts and feelings, I wouldn't like it either. It would be very hard to listen and endure all the touchy talk.

I thought social groups are more therapeutic and safe forms of average social groups that average kids participate in. Such as sports clubs and other clubs. Many kids seem to be in those too. Parents claim it's important that they learn to socialise better.

If the issue is the talking about feelings, a real average club could maybe be an alternative? If you think any such extra socialising is needed to teach or refine more social skills.

But there are always enough people who're not into specific socially orientated group activities. I don't see what good it would do to force any kid who just doesn't like that into participating. Especially if they're meant to learn something from it which only works if they enjoy it.


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Bradleigh
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23 Jul 2008, 6:36 pm

I agree with what Sora said, I myself would not like to be put into some settings where I am asked about my feelings. I would much rather be in a social group where the maine focus is on something I would enjoy, ie not being studied but instead a hobby group or something. I am sure that I am not the only one, my parents actualy put me in the scouts which alowed me to socialise with people but it was not the sole reason.


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equinn
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23 Jul 2008, 6:45 pm

Thanks so much for the responses! Yes, artificial is not good. I think that's what bothers my son.

He'll be in fourth grade so I can put him in activities that he enjoys and he can mix with other kids this way.

equinn



tomboy4good
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23 Jul 2008, 6:54 pm

I remember being in 7th grade & the school did this to me! I never ever said a word during any of the group meetings. I already felt stigmatized because I was different. All that did in my eyes was to reinforce my "weirdness." I felt others would use my words against me, so I never spoke, never even looked at the other kids.

I'm sure there are kids who benefit from the group sessions, but I feel that it's definitely not for everyone.



Willard
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23 Jul 2008, 9:03 pm

It sounds to me as though some idiot believes they can 'cure' autism or at least some autistic behaviors by 'forcing people out of their comfort zones'. I've worked for several bosses who thought that way. Don't work for them anymore. End of story.



equinn
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24 Jul 2008, 10:26 am

Willard wrote:
It sounds to me as though some idiot believes they can 'cure' autism or at least some autistic behaviors by 'forcing people out of their comfort zones'. I've worked for several bosses who thought that way. Don't work for them anymore. End of story.


Yes, and this is what irks me and my son.

Im sure my son is aware he's being observed for the sole purpose of being observed. He does not like this at all. I don't blame him. He will get nervous and act out or say things intentionally for shcok affect. We are cut from the same cloth, he and I.

They noted that he came into room and was pacing around the room and he needed to come in and sit down. I wonder, why? Is he hurting someone or bothering someone? This was viewed as antisocial. I'm sure he was nervous. I'm pulling him, I've decided. I'll get him involved in more interesting social arenas where he is not in the spotlight. I don't trust the social worker's competency either.

Thanks for all your responses. More are welcome on the subject.