One step foward two steps back.

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aurea
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29 Jul 2008, 4:11 pm

Hi all, Not sure if I'm looking for advice (yet again) or just needing to vent. :cry:

Yesterday I thought was turning out well, I had a quick meeting with my 9 yr old son J's vp. Compared to the start of the school year and when the school were first informed of J's AS dx she has done a real turn around for the best. She took notes on what I was saying (ie I was reporting back on his latest pediatric visit and his nueroligist visit and handing over their recommendations). I informed her that I had been in contact with the education dept for some advice, and the head honcho in there had strongly recommended that the school re look at applying for funding for J. The vp took copies of letters I had and has offered to research and get other information for me. Yay what a big break threw. :)

I came from that meeting feeling great.

The home time bell had gone and I went out to the play ground to meet J. I told him if he wanted to he could play for a few minutes before we left. Whilst I was waiting for him I caught up with another mum that I have gotten to know very well, her boy who is the same age as J has been to my house a couple of times and J has been to his house a couple of times, both boys are in the same class room. This family understand that J is unique. During the course of my conversation with the mum, The other boy came over to me and said, the other kids are mean to J, they are very nasty. My heart sank. I asked him to explain. He said every time J tries to speak, the other kids talk over the top of him, they say he is dumb. They don't treat him right. He said that he tries to tell them not to do that, he says he understands that J is different but that doesn't mean people should be mean to him. I have asked this boy to go speak to the teacher, tell the teacher what he just said to me. J wont speak up for himself, he will for other people but not for himself. I want to punch a few nasty little kids up. Sorry. mums instinct.
I know J has been unhappy, but he hasn't said why. I thought the stuff with the kids had gotten a little better, I guess not. He just isn't talking about it anymore and why would you, when talking so far hasn't changed a thing. Although even yesterday just after the other boy had told me all of this J had a break down in the car on our way home. He said he can't do anything right, he keeps getting told to shut up, he keeps getting told he is annoying. Apparently he must sing to himself ( not sure if its in class or out at play) some of the kids have told him to stop it, J has said he can't help it sorry, it just happens. They have apparently gotten very angry and yelled at him YES YOU CAN!! ! He also said some other heart breaking stuff. One step foward two steps back. :cry:

Before anyone says anything; Home schooling is not an option! Not because I say so, but I am in Australia and there are different rules over here.

I just needed to get it out. Thanks for listening guys.



Corsarzs
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29 Jul 2008, 5:07 pm

aurea wrote:
Hi all, Not sure if I'm looking for advice (yet again) or just needing to vent. :cry:
One step foward two steps back. :cry:

I just needed to get it out. Thanks for listening guys.


Hello, aurea, it has been awhile since I've been on WP but it is nice to see some some old friends are still around. Remember?, my son Z is about 2 years older than J and has faced some of the same issues in relating to other childen. It seems to be an unfortunate universal constant that kids will pick on the one child that is different. I am relieved to hear that J has at least one young friend willing to advocate for him. The best we as parents can do is to listen when our children are inclined to talk and to try to be supportive and help them to cope with difficult situations. I've noticed you mentioned pediatrician and neurologist as J's dctors. Does he also receive psychological counselling? We have found this to be beneficial for Z. Sometimes he will talk to his psychologist when he won't talk to Cor or myself and this professional has helped him gain a deeper understanding of himself and others. Oh, it's not a perfect solution and troubles still arise but it does help. You may want to consider this if you haven't already.

You've been around long long enough to know that steps forward and backwards are all part of raising one of our wonderful kids. Venting is good therapy, keep it up!

Thanks for being here, it's good to come home.


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leechbabe
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29 Jul 2008, 6:28 pm

I'm so sorry aurea, that must be a heartbreaking place to be in.

One of my nieces is in year 8 at School (in a northern Melbourne suburb) and she told me some months ago that a boy in her class has Aspergers Syndrome and his parents gave the school a copy of the book "All Cats Have Aspergers Syndrome" which was read during class time to help the group understand why he is different.

Do you think it would help at all to see if your sons teacher could do a bit about Aspergers to educate his class mates?



ster
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30 Jul 2008, 7:09 am

unfortunately, so many of us have been where you are now, Aurea........it's not fun. in the US, you can "remind" teachers of the anti-bullying laws & about how your child should be receiving an education free from threats & intimidation......not sure how it goes where you are.

at one point, someone on WP had talked about going into the school & talking to the kids about Aspergers. sort of like a short presentation with a question/answer period. maybe this would help ?



aurea
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06 Aug 2008, 12:35 am

Ster, Its funny you should say that because, to be honest my internet has been down and I hadn't seen your post ( :oops: ) J's teacher was going to be talking to his class about aspergers today whilst he wasn't there. I'm dying to know what she said, because I dont think she herself has a great understanding of J yet either. I dropped off a couple of books for her this morning.

Hopefully all went well, I guess we will find out soon enough.

She actually came up to me yesterday when I picked J up from school and said that he had said the strangest thing to her, Oh yeah what was that, He said he hated his life, his life sucked. Then she looked at me with great concern. Ummmm hmmmm I hear that at least once every time he has to come here. She looked shocked. Do they not listen!! !! ! Seriously! :? I then told her that as we pulled into the car park for the school drop off, he said to me, I hate it, another day at my prison. :(

I feel like crap that I can't make it all go away for him.



ster
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06 Aug 2008, 11:35 am

even though the teacher had a talk, can you go in and talk ?