Verbal Communications Differences and Difficulties Sticky

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Teach51
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11 Dec 2020, 7:35 am

Update:
Communication between my aspie and myself is constantly improving. Never give up. If you are upset or the other person is upset ask " did you mean?..... that's what I understood." Often I have misunderstood what he means.


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Jakki
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11 Dec 2020, 12:25 pm

This iss good advise ,, except often , I have seen one or the other party shut down communications and in order
To get to the point of asking what did you mean . Things seem to need to calm down enough for clear thoughts to be able to be available to either or both parties again ......


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Teach51
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11 Dec 2020, 3:20 pm

That is so true. We just never give up, it's been rough though.


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11 Dec 2020, 3:25 pm

I'm just not as patient as you are, Teach.



HighLlama
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08 Mar 2022, 6:06 am

When an NT says, "I'll call you back in a few minutes," they really mean 45+ minutes, when you're either eating or in the middle of watching something. :jester:



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26 Mar 2022, 12:56 pm

HighLlama wrote:
When an NT says, "I'll call you back in a few minutes," they really mean 45+ minutes, when you're either eating or in the middle of watching something. :jester:


Similar with meeting up. If we agree to meet at 1PM, I'll be there. (If I'm not, some grapes would be nice, or maybe a wreath.) The person I'm meeting, meanwhile, sends half a dozen last-minute messages rearranging 'til later and later times, wasting two hours of my time that I can't use for anything else. If I attempt to break this whole cycle by arranging to meet at 3PM in the first place, guess what happens? Yep.


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Jakki
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26 Mar 2022, 8:20 pm

This all sounds so familiar ^^^^


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HighLlama
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05 Apr 2022, 1:23 am

PhosphorusDecree wrote:
HighLlama wrote:
When an NT says, "I'll call you back in a few minutes," they really mean 45+ minutes, when you're either eating or in the middle of watching something. :jester:


Similar with meeting up. If we agree to meet at 1PM, I'll be there. (If I'm not, some grapes would be nice, or maybe a wreath.) The person I'm meeting, meanwhile, sends half a dozen last-minute messages rearranging 'til later and later times, wasting two hours of my time that I can't use for anything else. If I attempt to break this whole cycle by arranging to meet at 3PM in the first place, guess what happens? Yep.


Oh my God, exactly. Like we just stand around waiting for other people to be free.



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05 Apr 2022, 4:58 am

Me..Me…Me…..Me……me …. Generation …..? :|


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06 Jun 2022, 5:45 am

PhosphorusDecree wrote:
HighLlama wrote:
When an NT says, "I'll call you back in a few minutes," they really mean 45+ minutes, when you're either eating or in the middle of watching something. :jester:


Similar with meeting up. If we agree to meet at 1PM, I'll be there. (If I'm not, some grapes would be nice, or maybe a wreath.) The person I'm meeting, meanwhile, sends half a dozen last-minute messages rearranging 'til later and later times, wasting two hours of my time that I can't use for anything else. If I attempt to break this whole cycle by arranging to meet at 3PM in the first place, guess what happens? Yep.


I thought it was just me. When I'm waiting for someone it's like that is ALL I can do. The "act" of waiting short circuits any possibility for doing something as I know I will be interrupted and that will just mess up whatever I was doing.


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Jakki
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06 Jun 2022, 12:39 pm

Hate situations caused by other persons that interfere with my information processing skills in my brain .
Sorry to say but often am not very easily able to process multiple things after things start to get altered in my
Planned routine . But it seems people expect it ????, :|


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PhosphorusDecree
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17 Jun 2022, 9:15 pm

Jakki wrote:
Hate situations caused by other persons that interfere with my information processing skills in my brain .
Sorry to say but often am not very easily able to process multiple things after things start to get altered in my
Planned routine . But it seems people expect it ????, :|


Happens to me at the start and end of my shift at work. I'll be right in the middle of clocking in, signing for keys etc when someone tries to start a long complicated conversation. Result: I mess it all up and we're there for twice as long as if they'd waited. Or even longer, if I walk off with the wrong set of keys. Done that about 10 times.


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22 Sep 2022, 10:02 pm

Just how much it does not matter if I care about someone/something if I can’t even express that half the time :(
And I can’t be a reliable support if I don’t reliably have words.


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16 Jun 2023, 9:54 am

Yesterday started to be a rough day with being verbal. Not normally an issue, but I had my grandson here until 7pm. I wasn't really stressed, just exhausted. I'm still exhausted today but I can think more clearly. No idea if I can talk better yet, I am alone today so I haven't needed to test that crap out. Most days I wish speaking wasn't a thing I needed to do at all. Ah well. Lil mad didn't mind me stumbling with words and being quiet yesterday. He's an awesome kid. I am lucky. :heart: