Do people assume you're gay?

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BigK
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14 Aug 2008, 2:02 am

ablomov wrote:
God, did I want a girl. Never got one. Two drunken fumbles, nothing. That was thirty years ago. I've watched enough porn I know how to f**k.


Very useful if you are invited to star in a porn movie. Try that in 'real life' and you would get yourself dumped. :)


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ablomov
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14 Aug 2008, 2:54 am

arkityp wrote:
ablomov wrote:
God, did I want a girl. Never got one. Two drunken fumbles, nothing. That was thirty years ago. I've watched enough porn I know how to f**k.


as a woman, i'm begging you... don't f**k like you are in porn. it's ridiculous! :P


Thats quite right - they often miss out all the fun bits. Even I know tricks I've never seen them use yet. Ah well.......



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14 Aug 2008, 4:10 am

I had a car full of gay guys try to get my attention at a red light right after I got my car. They pull up and immediately the front passenger asks me for a phone number. After seeing that I was uncooperative, he got my attention again and proceeded to lift his shirt to show me the goods, as if that was going to turn me gay.

They were clearly on something though, so I don't think much of it. I was just a good-lookin' guy in a nice car. 8)



Enigmatic_Oddity
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14 Aug 2008, 4:41 am

At the moment I don't think many people think of me as a sexual person, but when I was younger people often assumed I was gay, which was not annoying as some might think, because I wasn't really interested in anyone romantically anyway. Some factors that may have contributed was that I spent a lot of my time around gay people, so I might have picked up some of their mannerisms, I was involved heavily in dance activities, and I never showed any interest in girls. I only ever had one gay person make a pass at me however. I think most gay people I knew found me repulsive.



crackedpleasures
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14 Aug 2008, 11:30 am

arkityp wrote:
ablomov wrote:
God, did I want a girl. Never got one. Two drunken fumbles, nothing. That was thirty years ago. I've watched enough porn I know how to f**k.


as a woman, i'm begging you... don't f**k like you are in porn. it's ridiculous! :P


And porn and sex are two different animals alltogether anyway. The average woman won't do the things they show in the average porn movie.

Plus,
sex = an act of love, expressing your feelings to your partner
porn = the more animal-esque side of physical intimicy

The concepts are totally different even though they may look similar purely physically.


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14 Aug 2008, 1:27 pm

No, but I am..
Funny how the scope switches?



Alaras
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14 Aug 2008, 3:15 pm

I wish more people would make that assumption. It might make finding new people for my poly network a bit less heartbreaking.



RogueProcess
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15 Aug 2008, 11:19 am

One of the stories I always tell people was from when I was about 16, and was still going out (to under-18s nights, of course 8) ), and just so happened to be sitting beside this very pretty girl. We kept sort of glancing at each-other, and although my sense of these things is woefully impaired, I kind of got the impression that she might like me. At around about the same moment, she turned round and said something to her friend who was sitting next to her, who then looked over at me in a very obvious way, turned back to her friend, and said quite audibly, even over the blaring music that was playing: "No, don't! I think he's GAY!!". And of course, she took her advice.

HUGE EPIC FAIL.

Although in retrospect I really should have turned around and said 'I CAN ASSURE YOU... THAT I AM NOT GAY', Burnt Face Man style 8)

EDIT: Bugger, in retrospect, that all sounds really homophobic :S Rest assured, 2 of my best friends are gay, so, whatever :P



Keith
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15 Aug 2008, 11:48 am

Presumption - the mother of all fuck- ups.

I would've gone up to her and asked straight out, "Why do/did you assume I'm gay?"



crackedpleasures
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15 Aug 2008, 12:48 pm

That would work only with people who are somewhat openminded and thinking for themselves. People wrongly assuming someone is gay are often those who think in stereotypes and who consider anyone not matching the stereotypical male image to be gay. In the end, those people have a serious tunnel vision and often will prefer to stick to their stereotypical thinking, failing to see those stereotypes often make no sense.

Also, why would you even try to waste your energy convincing people that are not worth a second of your time? If someone in a very blunt way assumes I am gay, then that person is simply not worth my attention as he proved his narrowmindedness. So why would I waste time on convincing them of the contrary? Even if it was a pretty girl saying it, if she is narrowminded enough for that type of talk, she isn't worth my energy.


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15 Aug 2008, 1:42 pm

RogueProcess wrote:
One of the stories I always tell people was from when I was about 16, and was still going out (to under-18s nights, of course 8) ), and just so happened to be sitting beside this very pretty girl. We kept sort of glancing at each-other, and although my sense of these things is woefully impaired, I kind of got the impression that she might like me. At around about the same moment, she turned round and said something to her friend who was sitting next to her, who then looked over at me in a very obvious way, turned back to her friend, and said quite audibly, even over the blaring music that was playing: "No, don't! I think he's GAY!!". And of course, she took her advice.

HUGE EPIC FAIL.

Although in retrospect I really should have turned around and said 'I CAN ASSURE YOU... THAT I AM NOT GAY', Burnt Face Man style 8)

EDIT: Bugger, in retrospect, that all sounds really homophobic :S Rest assured, 2 of my best friends are gay, so, whatever :P


I don't think that it's homophobic at all not to want attractive members of the opposite sex assume that you are unable to be interested in them.

I get mistaken for gay almost any time I'm outside of my house, and normally it doesn't bother me (though of course, if someone asks, I'm not going to lie, nor edit myself from speaking of former boyfriends) - but if I'm in a group with a guy I find attractive, I'll try to find some way to hint that it's not an accurate perception.



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15 Aug 2008, 2:32 pm

One guy did hit on me at a LGBT convention in Portland.
It was when I really didn't know any better.
Instead of politely turning him down, I ran off.

My older NT sister thinks I am gay.
I have told her I AM NOT GAY in any circumstances.


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15 Aug 2008, 4:25 pm

My x girlfriend thought I was seeing another man.



TrojanPower83
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16 Aug 2008, 2:19 am

When I was in my freshman year of college, I got hit on by 10 guys... didn't help that I was a theatre major...



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16 Aug 2008, 6:16 pm

Funny thing is I am gay, or rather lesbian and am quite certain I look the part. Yet I have men ask me out constantly. I also have co-workers ask me which guys I like. I guess it goes to show you can't tell a book by its cover.

As for the original poster's dilemma. Perhaps also you are being asked if you are gay because the one doing the asking is gay or else has a friend of the same sex that is attracted to you. That's usually how gays meet up outside of bars and Pride fests. In other words they are putting their feelers out trying to figure you out. Don't take it personally. Straights do the same thing.