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kc8ufv
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18 Aug 2008, 8:40 pm

Help. I don't know what to do. My girlfriend just dumped me by text message. We were going out for a few months, she kinda kept pressuring for sex the first couple of them, (we would make out in the car, but the farthest that went in the car was frenching and rubbing/sucking each other's nipples, her wanting more...) eventually we spent the weekend at her parents' cottage up north, where we hit a home run on the third night (my delaying. I didn't want the relationship to be based on just sex.) A couple weeks ago, we went to her sister's wedding, and she practically avoided me the whole time. The first night, she decided to sleep on the couch downstairs, (we were staying at her brother's house in her niece and nephew's room.) The second night, she came upstairs to sleep, (no even kissing that night) she was on the top bunk, I was on the bottom, and I woke up with a cramp in my leg (happens from time to time) and was leaning on the top bunk, trying to stretch it out, and she asked me what I was doing. I explained the situation (I don't think she believed me, since the only space for me to do this was about at her legs), and a little while after I had my leg issue taken care of to the point where I could at least go back to bed, she got up, and went in the other room, said I was keeping her up.

Over the past couple weeks (since the wedding) she hasn't really talked to me. When I try calling her, all I get is her voicemail, even when I know her phone should be working, and she hasn't returned my calls, and would rarely return my texts. Normally, she would give rather lengthy responses, while mine were fairly direct. Today, I texted her and asked her how her day was going, and all she responded was "Fine. and yours?" I responded saying it was mostly an OK day, except I was upset my new boss was going to be in the office all week (he was supposed to be at a conference across the country. He needed a certain flight back, though to make a meeting at the end of the week, and waited too long to get his tickets. The new boss has 0 managerial skills, and has a tendency to tick people off.) She never responded to this, despite it most likely being one of the longest messages I've ever sent her. About an hour later, I asked her if she still liked me, and she responded with "Yes. you're still a nice person and I still like you, however it's just about impossible at this point for me to be attracted to you". I asked her if I did anything wrong, and she replied with "You didn't do anything. Really, it's just you are not the right person for me".

I feel like she was just using me for my dick. The last time I can remember feeling this upset was when my best friend (and I only had a few friends even then) was killed by being hit by a pickup truck on a busy road when we were 10.

What should I do? How can I get over this? Is this why I've avoided relationships for so long?



ToadOfSteel
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18 Aug 2008, 9:03 pm

kc8ufv wrote:
I feel like she was just using me for my dick

Yup.

Quote:
What should I do? How can I get over this? Is this why I've avoided relationships for so long?

This is another reason I usually wait a while after meeting someone before I start to consider dating...



Betterclassed
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18 Aug 2008, 9:04 pm

kc8ufv wrote:
Help. I don't know what to do. My girlfriend just dumped me by text message. We were going out for a few months, she kinda kept pressuring for sex the first couple of them, (we would make out in the car, but the farthest that went in the car was frenching and rubbing/sucking each other's nipples, her wanting more...) eventually we spent the weekend at her parents' cottage up north, where we hit a home run on the third night (my delaying. I didn't want the relationship to be based on just sex.) A couple weeks ago, we went to her sister's wedding, and she practically avoided me the whole time. The first night, she decided to sleep on the couch downstairs, (we were staying at her brother's house in her niece and nephew's room.) The second night, she came upstairs to sleep, (no even kissing that night) she was on the top bunk, I was on the bottom, and I woke up with a cramp in my leg (happens from time to time) and was leaning on the top bunk, trying to stretch it out, and she asked me what I was doing. I explained the situation (I don't think she believed me, since the only space for me to do this was about at her legs), and a little while after I had my leg issue taken care of to the point where I could at least go back to bed, she got up, and went in the other room, said I was keeping her up.

Over the past couple weeks (since the wedding) she hasn't really talked to me. When I try calling her, all I get is her voicemail, even when I know her phone should be working, and she hasn't returned my calls, and would rarely return my texts. Normally, she would give rather lengthy responses, while mine were fairly direct. Today, I texted her and asked her how her day was going, and all she responded was "Fine. and yours?" I responded saying it was mostly an OK day, except I was upset my new boss was going to be in the office all week (he was supposed to be at a conference across the country. He needed a certain flight back, though to make a meeting at the end of the week, and waited too long to get his tickets. The new boss has 0 managerial skills, and has a tendency to tick people off.) She never responded to this, despite it most likely being one of the longest messages I've ever sent her. About an hour later, I asked her if she still liked me, and she responded with "Yes. you're still a nice person and I still like you, however it's just about impossible at this point for me to be attracted to you". I asked her if I did anything wrong, and she replied with "You didn't do anything. Really, it's just you are not the right person for me".

What should I do? How can I get over this? Is this why I've avoided relationships for so long?


Nothing but maintain what is just going to friendship at this point, although I think that will also disappear in time. I think it's time to move on. However I think you should of been a little more open and I don't mean chit chat stuff. I mean let loose and just go with it. Also possibly you may of avoided for this reason, depends on what you really feel comfortable with. Anyway, I think you let her down in some like sex which are some of things she wanted as a part of a potential mate. Oh well, at least next time you'll be more aware of these things and be better ready for it. Hope that helps.



kc8ufv
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18 Aug 2008, 9:16 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
kc8ufv wrote:
I feel like she was just using me for my dick

Yup.

Quote:
What should I do? How can I get over this? Is this why I've avoided relationships for so long?

This is another reason I usually wait a while after meeting someone before I start to consider dating...


We actually did know each other for a while. About 3 years before we started dating to be precise, though she was in a few other relationships durring that time. We are both on the same DMAT, and still have to work togeather there. Next month, we are even both rostered to backfill on another team togeather, and our team is up again in November. (I'm a Commo Officer, she's a Pharmacist)



Veresae
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18 Aug 2008, 9:19 pm

This doesn't have anything to do with your actual post, but the title amuses me....breaking up via TEXT messaging? Yeesh!

"u, me, ovr"
"wut u btch"
"u r dum"
"i nvr <3 u bich"
"by 4ever"
"lol i chtd on u"
"WTF U ASS"



kc8ufv
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18 Aug 2008, 9:31 pm

Veresae wrote:
This doesn't have anything to do with your actual post, but the title amuses me....breaking up via TEXT messaging? Yeesh!

"u, me, ovr"
"wut u btch"
"u r dum"
"i nvr <3 u bich"
"by 4ever"
"lol i chtd on u"
"WTF U ASS"


*stops crying for a moment to laugh for a few seconds* She would never understand that one. She has a hard time with standardized acronyms, let alone ones created on the fly. She attributes this to her dyslexia.



Kilroy
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18 Aug 2008, 9:46 pm

why did you not want to at least give sex a try
maybe that's why she wanted out
she wanted more



ToadOfSteel
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18 Aug 2008, 10:06 pm

If one partner wants disproportionately more sex than the other, the relationship is probably intrinsically unstable to begin with...


Relationships are like stars: The hotter they burn, the faster they fall...



Praetorius
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18 Aug 2008, 10:10 pm

kc8ufv wrote:
I asked her if she still liked me, and she responded with "Yes. you're still a nice person and I still like you, however it's just about impossible at this point for me to be attracted to you".
Ouch. I think that's about as bad as it gets!



kc8ufv
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19 Aug 2008, 4:13 am

Kilroy wrote:
why did you not want to at least give sex a try
maybe that's why she wanted out
she wanted more


I've only really had one other semi-long term relationship, in it, we started having sex way too early, and it ended up being the only the only thing we had in common. I wanted this relationship to last, so I didn't want to make the same mistake.

ToadOfSteel wrote:
If one partner wants disproportionately more sex than the other, the relationship is probably intrinsically unstable to begin with...


Relationships are like stars: The hotter they burn, the faster they fall...


Actually, I was quite turned on, and my body was wanting her, I was holding back because of my past experience. I really didn't want to loose her by that being all we had.



Cyanide
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19 Aug 2008, 12:53 pm

Text message? That is seriously the wussiest way to dump someone.



lisa81
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19 Aug 2008, 1:10 pm

I think that's a very sad part of life today....


people can't break up on the phone or in your face instead

"text or e-mail"

I should break up with my next partner via fax :D



Kilroy
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19 Aug 2008, 1:13 pm

like Phil Collins did lol



Haliphron
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19 Aug 2008, 1:26 pm

So f*****g TYPICAL of a girl to breakup using txtmsgs......... :x
TBPH, that girls sounds like a Ho to me man. If you Really want the truth the best way to get it is to bombard her with emails demanding an explanation. WTF is up with girls behaving(romantically)like guys these days???? :?



kc8ufv
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19 Aug 2008, 1:56 pm

lisa81 wrote:
I think that's a very sad part of life today....


people can't break up on the phone or in your face instead

"text or e-mail"

I should break up with my next partner via fax :D


At least by fax, it can still have some of the substance of a Dear John letter. That's just delivered electronically instead of by mail.