How to Argue with an NT
26 Aug 2008, 12:47 am
Programmer wrote:
PPS Mocking actually came from a Scott Adams blog entry. It is in his book and describes arguments. He said no one ever changes their mind by facts. Mocking he finds effective. I can look it up if required since I am paraphrasing.
no, it simply holes people up and makes them more dogged up and take the "mocking" seriously...
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26 Aug 2008, 12:52 am
DW_a_mom wrote:
The thing is, someone like my son so firmly believes he is right, and so steadfastly refuses to ever accept any opposing viewpoint as valid, that he risks being seen as unreasonable and, well, just a jerk. Fortunately his demeanor kind of counter-acts that, most of the time, but that isn't true for all Aspies. I've read many posts on these forums that sound very, VERY much like my son, and not my husband. That utter belief in what the poster is saying, and that there is only one truth. When you think that way, and speak from that vantage point, it IS going to be perceived as arrogant and self-assured, even if the speaker doesn't generally feel that way about himself.
One thing that I often find with people your son (that are Aspie or not) is that they tend to be very logical. If your argument against them isn't logically intact or bringing new facts to the table it comes across as meaningless. If they are surrounded with people who cannot effectively put together a logical argument they get convinced they are right all the time. In some sense they effectively are. They have not been proven wrong.
I find a couple of things effective when dealing with highly logical people:
Point out the branches in their argument that don't logically follow. ie find places where the logic tree branches and they don't have supporting evidence. This can be done with no research. It takes a very logical mind if they have researched their supporting evidence well. You have to be able to pick out branches they are unlikely to have facts on.
Find facts that disprove their theory. This is pretty much impossible if you don't have a great memory. It helps to be able to quote the source of your facts. For example saying "I read Mocking is good somewhere." Isn't nearly as effective as remembering where you read it: "Scott Adams blog book".
Point out the person has research and solid logic on their side. But just because someone can't come up with a counter argument on the spot doesn't mean they are right. Then challenge them to research the counter argument. ie go find facts to prove that they are either wrong or partially wrong. They could improve their theory. Ask them later how their research improved their theory or what facts point to possible errors. If they refuse to research against their theory point out the scientific method.
ttyl
