Help;;sapie rights in public high school.

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Hello,
Just a brief overview here, my son is 14 with AS, a beautiful, hilarious young man struggling to find his place in a new environment. He just started his freshman year in high school last monday. Alex arrived home after his first day extremely angry and frustrated stating that a kid who tormented him, teased him and threatened him all through middle school had already started the first day, calling him a "ret*d", loser, gay, ugly, stupid etc.....when anyone else would speak to alex, the bully would laugh at them also and say that they must be ret*d to hang out with alex.

Alex looks very normal, he is one of the smallest kids in high school, but it is difficult to know he is an aspie unless you spend some time with him or watch closely. Life is a struggle much of the time ---poor self esteem, always feels like everyone else is better, etc.

ALex told me he wasnt taking that crap from the bully this year...period. On tuesday morning, i drove to the school and met with the principal and vice princepal and informed of the dilemma. They assured me they would handle it, they moved classes around, spoke to both boys and trusted it would get better. It did not.....Alex said the bully said something nasty everytime they passed in the hall, called him names and threatened him. On Friday at last bell, alex tackled the kid and punched him three times.

Alex has never, NEVER been in trouble, not once, but they informed me today that he would have a 10 day suspension, and be charged with battery. Alex has never touched another kid, not called one a name, never disrespected his teachers. I feel like this is harsh, he is struggling to keep up even with his IEP, and now he cannot make up 10 days worth of assignments. He also has to be reviewed for expulsion.

Do I have any recourse? Is there anything I can do to get his punishment lessened. MD has written a letter and said he feels like alex used great impulse control considering he had been bullied for 2 years by the same kid. Is it right for alex to have to tolerate being bullied and made fun of for all of this time?

Is there anyone I can call as an advocate to help? I live in Northwest Indiana, just about 50 miles south of Chicago> Thanks for any help I can get.
Beth

that's terrible. someone is bullying him for two years and when he stands up to him, mainly because anyone from the teachers didn't pay enough attention, although they knew what was going on, he is punished? poor alex. that doesn't seem right.

i hope it goes well for your son. obviously, since living in Europe and having no experience of that kind, i cannot help, but i hope someone does.

Sorry if anyone disagrees with this, but GOOD FOR ALEX!

Finally, after years of this, he stands up for himself and follows through with his decision. Good for him. And BAD for the school to come down so harshly. I've found that schools are doing this, especially with anything out of the ordinary. And yet, the bullies who whisper a threat in the halls are not punished at all. The trouble here is that nobody but your son witnesses a whispered threat in the halls. But, unfortunately for your son, his pummeling of this rotten kid was probably witnessed by everyone.

The reality of the situation is this:

The suspension is awful, for sure. The charge for battery is outrageous, in my opinion. It may be legal, but it's outrageous, even if it's legal. This kid has been tormenting your son for over two years, and now continues it in HIGH SCHOOL, and your son is supposed to put up with it? This is the result of the school not handling the situation early on. If you have multiple examples of phone calls or discussions with school personnel about the issue, and nothing was done, then that's your case against a charge for battery. I have no personal experience with this issue, I just feel like this is how it SHOULD be.

My son DOES have personal experience. He went through elementary school feeling like the odd man out. He was probably teased a bit, and was the smart but clueless kid, and therefore didn't have many friends. We moved to a new state, and he was in sixth grade, and had had it with being bullied. So the first dumb kid that tried it out on the playground got punched in the nose (this was before a school would come down harshly for this type of playground behavior), and my son never had a problem after that.

There's a good chance that your son won't have problems after his altercation either -- and that may be the ONE bright side to this whole situation. Again, GOOD FOR ALEX.

Hi,
Unfortunately this is so typical of waht goes on in schools. a few questions.
You said he had an IEP, is anything written in it about teasing or bullying?
What happened to the kid that kept tormenting him. Was he also suspended and charged with emotional abuse? It appears to me that the reason this kid kept doing it is because his consequences were not dire enough to be a deterant. The fact that this has been going on for two years is the proof. I would call your states special education department.
This is the schools failure to deal with this issue.
Does your son have any other Dx along wiht the aspergers? Is aspergers listed on his IEP? There are reasons I am asking. Its my understanding your son cannot be suspended if his behavior is in anyway caused by his disability. I will do some checking about bullying laws. Who is charging your son with assault? The school, or the kids parents?

Hi, back again. Apparently Indiana has some laws about bullying. Please check out this attorney's link regarding schools accountability. Most attorneys will give you a free consult. I am concerned about them filing assault charges against him. The best defense is a good offense. This school was negligent, don't let them dump this on your son. This is the website wwwdphilpotlawcom put the period after the w, and before the com. Because I am new it won't let me post websites

I had a simular thing that I did, I was picked on by groups of students, they called me names and even whent as far as takeing my belongings and kicking my feat while I was walking. Now I was always a good kid and never did anything wrong but at the last day of my first year I snaped after some physical abuse chased after one and grabed them by the throught. This hapend in a special education unit where I was suposed to feel safe yet no one realy cared to stop the bullying. They figured that it was no good suspeding me if it was the last day though, but even for the rest of the day I was continued to being bullied. This continued for most of my time in highschool, I would try to just ignore it and no one tried to stop it, the excuse I got was that I couldnt give names, that was because I can not remember names and if I did get them confronted they would act like nothing happend as they had more people. But whenever I fought back I was quickly prosecuted, with many witnesses against me, but the teachers tried to not expell me or be too harsh as it was out of character. I know how bullying can leave such a large wound on oneself, and to that person who is wounded a physical wound to the bully actualy feels insignificant compared what is felt to the victem. Schools do not realise how bad mental damage is, they only care about physical damage.

Tell your son he should have gotten in a few kicks while the guy was down.

Also, it may be wise to teach your son some covert moves to apply pain without leaving a mark. For example, if you twist somebody's wrist backward (fairly easy to do) then it will cause them a lot of pain with out leaving any marks. So long as your child is patient enough to wait till hes alone with the bully, then there shouldn't be any problems.

Now of course physically hurting other people isnt the best thing to do in the majority of situations. But when idiots at school bully you, it is often far more effective then talking to lazy, uncaring, and apathetic teachers.

1. KUDOS TO YOUR SON FOR KICKING ASS. as others said should you should have f****d him over worse.

2. try to look over the expulsion hearings, IIRC you can appeal and you can prevent him from being expelled..that's seriously overreacting. Honestly I'd say suspension isn't bad; you normally (for me) can get your assignments in advance and ask all the teachers for the next 10 days what it is. And possibly he can use that threatened expulsion/suspension/etc as street cred or bragging material....it can help

Thank you everyone for your support, I have been in classes all day and unable to handle this properly. I will follow every single response, websites and keep pushing this until I find some resolve. If anyone else finds any other options please keep em coming. again thank you.
Beth

this is only my experience-but normally no. Then again I didn't have as bad problems as others did apparently.

on advice: martial arts
most kids doesnt even know how to hit some one in the face
so if you get him lessons hell be able to atleast know he can win a fight
bullies just need to be punished parents wont do it mostlikely lazy and stupid parents
who think there son is a good boy who helps every one and so on =/
you wont be able to prevent a fight anyway and it will only make it worse when he loses
(just telling the hard truth sorry)