Page 1 of 1 [ 3 posts ] 

princesseli
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jan 2008
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 532
Location: Honolulu HI/ Los Angeles CA

26 Aug 2008, 6:16 pm

I know being on the aspie means that most see themselves as very different then others. Does anyone else feel like they are so unique that even compared to others aspies you are very different. I've never met anyone even close being like me NT or aspie. Ive been in 2 different aspie group therapy sessions. I wonder if that’s another reason why its so hard for me make friends other then having bad social skills. I see NTs around my college campus and I know one of the things that brings people together is common interest and similarities. I know no ones a carbon copy on one another and I also know people don’t always limit themselves to those that are similar to each other. Still yet, I was wondering if the ease in making friends is because they are able to find people that are kinda similar vs. I and maybe other aspies aren’t able to.



Rainbow-Squirrel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Dec 2006
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,437
Location: Siena, Italy

26 Aug 2008, 6:32 pm

I think the key word here is "Autism", which means you can never really get connected to someone. This separation leads to the feeling of uniqueness.



irikarah
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 24 Aug 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 206
Location: Portland, OR

26 Aug 2008, 6:42 pm

princesseli wrote:
I know being on the aspie means that most see themselves as very different then others. Does anyone else feel like they are so unique that even compared to others aspies you are very different. I've never met anyone even close being like me NT or aspie. Ive been in 2 different aspie group therapy sessions. I wonder if that’s another reason why its so hard for me make friends other then having bad social skills. I see NTs around my college campus and I know one of the things that brings people together is common interest and similarities. I know no ones a carbon copy on one another and I also know people don’t always limit themselves to those that are similar to each other. Still yet, I was wondering if the ease in making friends is because they are able to find people that are kinda similar vs. I and maybe other aspies aren’t able to.

I don't want to marginalize what you're feeling, but I think alongside being an aspie, you've just grown in a different direction than some people.

When I was a little kid, my interests were fairly generalized and that made it a little easier to make friends, as did getting into goth/industrial music in HS. It's when I started to step away from any single social group and broaden my interests that I ran into problems. It's easy to find people you have one or two specific things in common with, but that's not a lot to build on and have more to talk about. So, for instance, I have one friend that likes good beer and harsh noise music, which is nice...but that's all we're really able to talk about, and the friendship often feels empty. This might be the kind of thing you're running into, and alongside your social difficulties, you're probably having problems finding not just people with similar interests, but people you connect with on a more intrinsic level.

I don't really have any suggestions for how to make things easier, since I still have problems with this, but for what it's worth, you're not the only one. :)
Of course, I don't know any specifics about what you like or what you're like, so I could be way off with all this :p