Don't Understand the World of Dating

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NeantHumain
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27 Aug 2008, 1:34 pm

BigK wrote:

ToadOfSteel wrote:

To me, the whole dating process seems backwards. I want to know more about a woman before I start dating her, not rushing into things not knowing anything. Unfortunately that in turn means that I'm quite familiar with the "friend zone", and that is the construct I want to abolish over all others.

Getting to know her is what dating is.

The Catch 22 is that most women say they don't know you well enough as a reason for not going on a date with you—or they have a boyfriend already.

MissPickwickian
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27 Aug 2008, 1:56 pm

ALittleLost wrote:

It seems that i have always been single and will remain single for the rest of my life. I bounce between very much wanting to be like everyone else and connecting with someone special. My sister and brother are both married. I'm no where close to that. I've tried this online dating thing but I don't know how to do it properly. I just get so disheartened because people seem to be matched left right and centre and I don't seem to be moving anywhere!!

I have no idea how to act around men who I like. I either panic and just sort of "run off" when they walk in my direction or I just sort of hit them --- I think that I do it too roughly because I've been asked why I'm doing that. I just don't what to do, how to act properly. I wish to God that someone would come with me on dates and just point out what I'm supposed to be doing. I don't get it. I feel a bit stupid typing that but..... I just feel hopeless...

I think that I like my solitude a lot but I want to be like everyone else with a special someone too...

Is there an Asperger's dating website?

If NTs understood the world of dating, there would be no books like 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.' They only appear to understand love better than we do because they have the capacity for effortless social interaction--early-stage romance skills, if you will.

I have a tendency to come on too strong or act too sexual too early (blame the MTV culture: aspie see, aspie do). It is odd, though, that you actually hit men. Instead, after bland greetings, you should tell him A LITTLE BIT about your favorite subject. If this person is worth your while, this will act as a conversation starter. If this person is displeased by your favorite subject, he cannot accept you as who you are and is not worthy of you. My mom taught me that.

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kc8ufv
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27 Aug 2008, 1:58 pm

Funaho wrote:

It's really too bad aspieaffection.com doesn't have more people...I signed up when it was first opened but all I ever seem to get there are spam emails. :/

I've also tried the Friend Finder sites and a couple others,and from what I've seen it's basically 99% men and 1% women, and half the women want other women, and the rest have such a wide choice available to them that they're super picky. End result is I never get any responses to emails. I just finally gave up. No woman wants to date a 35 year old with the dating/relationship experience of a 16 year old, and it just gets worse as I get older.

They don't really want to date a 26yo with that experience, either...

Funaho
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27 Aug 2008, 2:18 pm

ProtossX wrote:

didnt you say you have a Friends With Benfits relationship already?

Why are you even lookin on friends finder when you already have one? seems kinda weird i guess maybe u dont have a FWB an u just made that up what do i know ur 35 u got anime avatar u act like u get sex everyday u want but ur gettin screwed on internet dating sites hmm i dunno man

And you can bite me. I don't need crap from you, judging from I've seen on your previous posts. If you weren't such a jerk you'd know that FWB != Dating.

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Kellindil
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27 Aug 2008, 2:57 pm

ProtossX wrote:

Protoss.

Stop being a douche.

The next time I say something about your behavior, it's going to be to a moderator.

Thanks in advance.

ProtossX
Toucan
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27 Aug 2008, 3:16 pm

Kellindil wrote:

ProtossX wrote:

Protoss.

Stop being a douche.

The next time I say something about your behavior, it's going to be to a moderator.

Thanks in advance.

wow dont threaten me newb, I don't need to hear crap from someone who just joined the site 8 days ago, I've been posting on here for a year now and your going on ignore pal get outa my face. dont threaten me with your crap i dont need to hear it ive given much more to this forum then you.

and stop following me around too or ill report u for harassment

and to the other guy uhh adult FRiend finder isn't dating site its sex site for sex partners just like a FWB relationship so maybe u should be lookin at real dating site besides adult friend finders

Funaho
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27 Aug 2008, 3:20 pm

Quote:

and to the other guy uhh adult FRiend finder isn't dating site its sex site for sex partners just like a FWB relationship so maybe u should be lookin at real dating site besides adult friend finders

Yes, *adult* friend finder is a sex site, but there is a regular friendfinder.com as well, in case you were not aware. The regular site is a dating site not a sex site, but it does have the same male/female ratio problem.

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Kellindil
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27 Aug 2008, 3:32 pm

ProtossX wrote:

Good luck with that, kid.

ProtossX
Toucan
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27 Aug 2008, 3:52 pm

Funaho wrote:

Quote:

and to the other guy uhh adult FRiend finder isn't dating site its sex site for sex partners just like a FWB relationship so maybe u should be lookin at real dating site besides adult friend finders

oh sorry bout taht i thoguht u meant the AFF anyway hows ur FWB relationship going ? how often do you guys do it an stuff anyway? just kinda curious bout fwb type things i guess i was a bit jealous

Belfast
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27 Aug 2008, 5:04 pm

Aspie_Chav wrote:

Belfast wrote:

Having a "significant other" around on regular, reliable basis helps me appreciate my time alone-I treasure my solitude, but not without pleasant interludes of closeness with another.

It is interesting to compare a chronic bellyache, while relaxing on the beach to a hard, long hours in the office.

Umm-could you explain your comment a little further, because I'm confused & don't understand what you are saying. Not a big deal, I just can't comprehend/decode this.

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Funaho
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27 Aug 2008, 7:32 pm

ProtossX wrote:

oh sorry bout taht i thoguht u meant the AFF anyway hows ur FWB relationship going ? how often do you guys do it an stuff anyway? just kinda curious bout fwb type things i guess i was a bit jealous

She lives about 35 minutes away and also works two jobs so we don't see each other much. In fact I have not seen her since the end of May.

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ToadOfSteel
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28 Aug 2008, 2:06 am

BigK wrote:

ToadOfSteel wrote:

Getting to know her is what dating is.

Ah, so its a difference in definition then... To me, dating is two people that are in an intimate relationship spending time together...

Though, to be honest, I should start using your definition, since then I will have technically dated all the girls in my high school graduating class...

ToadOfSteel
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28 Aug 2008, 2:08 am

Kellindil wrote:

ProtossX wrote:

Protoss.

Stop being a douche.

The next time I say something about your behavior, it's going to be to a moderator.

Thanks in advance.

WE MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS!

Aspie_Chav
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28 Aug 2008, 9:03 am

Belfast wrote:

Aspie_Chav wrote:

Belfast wrote:

Having a "significant other" around on regular, reliable basis helps me appreciate my time alone-I treasure my solitude, but not without pleasant interludes of closeness with another.

It is interesting to compare a chronic bellyache, while relaxing on the beach to a hard, long hours in the office.

Umm-could you explain your comment a little further, because I'm confused & don't understand what you are saying. Not a big deal, I just can't comprehend/decode this.

You might compare being in a high maintainance relationship like a hard day at the office, but it can never be compared with loneliness which is like a belly ache while having total freedom.

Funaho
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28 Aug 2008, 9:26 am

Aspie_Chav wrote:

You might compare being in a high maintainance relationship like a hard day at the office, but it can never be compared with loneliness which is like a belly ache while having total freedom.

I prefer to think of myself more like a ghost, forever unable to participate only observe.

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Aspie_Chav
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29 Aug 2008, 8:58 am

Funaho wrote:

Aspie_Chav wrote:

You might compare being in a high maintainance relationship like a hard day at the office, but it can never be compared with loneliness which is like a belly ache while having total freedom.

I prefer to think of myself more like a ghost, forever unable to participate only observe.

If your loneliness doesn’t take away from the things you can participate in such as programming, scifi, anime or vacation, consider yourself very lucky. Loneliness can rob a person of any enjoyment of life.

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