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admoore
Butterfly
Butterfly

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Joined: 26 Aug 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 14

30 Aug 2008, 12:02 am

i wrote this today random thing it was good feeling though so i wonderd if anyone would like to give their opinion? its a bit personal i supose but hey were all freinds here. lol positve and negative will be apprecicated as always!! or even suggestions.

Heavy air chains me so,
my untrailed sentence to be served
Way down passed all that lived or breathed,
suns holy power does not reache.
Clock feels no bounds nor burden,
no regards to my own cessation,
just tick and tock
Within my mind a single thought glides,
from who? is it that i must hide
for there is no such other oppressing, me for any,
other resons to stand tall and true,
many yet cant follow through.
springing out my soul now, tears flow warm and wet,
Comfort is despairs best friend, though i doubt weve ever met.



Tempy
Toucan
Toucan

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Joined: 23 Jul 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 296

30 Aug 2008, 4:31 am

I like it alot. very well written.



MONIQUEIJ
Veteran
Veteran

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Joined: 2 Oct 2009
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,353

02 Aug 2010, 5:31 pm

nice poem


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