Why Do Women Care If Their Friend Is Being Hit On?

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sinsboldly
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31 Aug 2008, 12:36 am

NeantHumain wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
NeantHumain wrote:
Her friend was the one hitting on me, so it's obvious I'd be paying more attention to her. She should expect a single guy to become interested in someone who's making lascivious comments.


that might be why the friend was annoyed. Maybe she was watching inappropriate behaviour and was not pleased that her friend was exhibiting it.

One woman's inappropriate is another man's just-what-the-doctor-ordered. I didn't find it inappropriate.


I am not talking about how YOU viewed the interchange.
That is irrelevant to the situation. The question was, why did the FRIEND have a bee in her bonnet about you chatting up her friend. I was saying you are not the one that was disturbed by the direction the conversation was going, the girl's friend was!


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Cyberman
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31 Aug 2008, 1:20 am

"Inappropriate behavior"? Who died and made YOU Ms. Manners!? :lol:



NeantHumain
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31 Aug 2008, 1:30 am

nekowafer wrote:
Everyone has different views, so it's very possible that she found something offensive in what you did, or what she did. It could have been the tiniest thing that you'd never notice, it's hard to know unless you were to ask.

She thought her friend was making "obnoxious" and "embarrassing" sexual dialogue. I found it enticing.



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31 Aug 2008, 1:32 am

NeantHumain wrote:
nekowafer wrote:
Everyone has different views, so it's very possible that she found something offensive in what you did, or what she did. It could have been the tiniest thing that you'd never notice, it's hard to know unless you were to ask.

She thought her friend was making "obnoxious" and "embarrassing" sexual dialogue. I found it enticing.


Well it sounds like you were doing what you were supposed to. I can never get girls to make blatant advances on me, and if they do I'm not paying attention.


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NeantHumain
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31 Aug 2008, 1:33 am

sinsboldly wrote:
NeantHumain wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
NeantHumain wrote:
Her friend was the one hitting on me, so it's obvious I'd be paying more attention to her. She should expect a single guy to become interested in someone who's making lascivious comments.


that might be why the friend was annoyed. Maybe she was watching inappropriate behaviour and was not pleased that her friend was exhibiting it.

One woman's inappropriate is another man's just-what-the-doctor-ordered. I didn't find it inappropriate.


I am not talking about how YOU viewed the interchange.
That is irrelevant to the situation. The question was, why did the FRIEND have a bee in her bonnet about you chatting up her friend. I was saying you are not the one that was disturbed by the direction the conversation was going, the girl's friend was!

Why should she care what's going on between her friend and me?



nekowafer
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31 Aug 2008, 1:58 am

It's her friend. It's just as I said.. girls can be very protective, and overprotective, of their friends. It's just how things go. So if you two were making comments the friend didn't like, and you can see what she may not have liked(even if you think it's silly for her to care) then you have it all figured out. She could also have been offended that you two would talk like that in front of her. Who knows.

Either way, you now have the reason.


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31 Aug 2008, 2:14 am

Terrific. Yet another silly obstacle to worry about when trying to approach someone. :roll:



sinsboldly
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31 Aug 2008, 2:15 am

and I am not being Ms Manners. . I am simply trying to give you insight as to how the FRIEND might have seen it. SHE might had seen it as inapprorpriate and reacted negatively.

there are people here that are only trying to answer your question by looking at it from another point of view.

Merle


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sinsboldly
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31 Aug 2008, 2:30 am

Cyberman wrote:
Terrific. Yet another silly obstacle to worry about when trying to approach someone. :roll:


well,if you don't factor it in, it will be an obstacle. This is why you learn, so you will avoid having an issue with the friend.


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yesplease
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31 Aug 2008, 2:36 am

Some people get irritated if they feel they're being ignored. Especially for something fleeting like a fling. People simply have certain expectations regarding how their friends should act in different situations.



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31 Aug 2008, 11:16 am

NeantHumain wrote:
She thought her friend was making "obnoxious" and "embarrassing" sexual dialogue. I found it enticing.

...and that may have been the problem right there > you probably don't know this girl as well as her friend does, and I think it's possible that this girl just has a cheeky and provocative conversational style and sense of humur, and she was not meaning the things she was saying, nor noticing your interpretation of them. Maybe the friend knew this and noticed that you were 'enticed' by her comments(taking them more seriously than they were meant) and wanted to get you away before misinterpretations caused a big problem.

(Sometimes, when I was younger, I would be sexually blunt with certain young men and make alot of very cheeky sexual jokes, not realizing at all how men interpreted these comments or what it did to them. I was also sometimes told that I was flirting, when I had no intention of doing so - I just was trying to be nice and friendly. Could the girl be like that too?)



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31 Aug 2008, 12:25 pm

Basically in this situation I would do the opposite of what you might think. Just continue trying to be friendly. Not that I know it would work, but might be a learning experience. Probably not very helpful, as I don't really know how, but try not to be too creepy.



NeantHumain
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31 Aug 2008, 12:39 pm

0_equals_true wrote:
Basically in this situation I would do the opposite of what you might think. Just continue trying to be friendly. Not that I know it would work, but might be a learning experience. Probably not very helpful, as I don't really know how, but try not to be too creepy.

The girl was making most of the provocative sexual comments; I was just agreeing/going along, so I obviously couldn't have been creeping her out.



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31 Aug 2008, 2:14 pm

I agree with nautilus' idea, I tried to say something like that but could not get the wording right, so I gave up. But it makes sense to me.


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