Why Do Women Care If Their Friend Is Being Hit On?

Page 2 of 2 [ 30 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

sinsboldly
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon

31 Aug 2008, 12:36 am

NeantHumain wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
NeantHumain wrote:
Her friend was the one hitting on me, so it's obvious I'd be paying more attention to her. She should expect a single guy to become interested in someone who's making lascivious comments.


that might be why the friend was annoyed. Maybe she was watching inappropriate behaviour and was not pleased that her friend was exhibiting it.

One woman's inappropriate is another man's just-what-the-doctor-ordered. I didn't find it inappropriate.


I am not talking about how YOU viewed the interchange.
That is irrelevant to the situation. The question was, why did the FRIEND have a bee in her bonnet about you chatting up her friend. I was saying you are not the one that was disturbed by the direction the conversation was going, the girl's friend was!


_________________
Alis volat propriis
State Motto of Oregon


Cyberman
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Apr 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,736
Location: hibernating

31 Aug 2008, 1:20 am

"Inappropriate behavior"? Who died and made YOU Ms. Manners!? :lol:



NeantHumain
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jun 2004
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,837
Location: St. Louis, Missouri

31 Aug 2008, 1:30 am

nekowafer wrote:
Everyone has different views, so it's very possible that she found something offensive in what you did, or what she did. It could have been the tiniest thing that you'd never notice, it's hard to know unless you were to ask.

She thought her friend was making "obnoxious" and "embarrassing" sexual dialogue. I found it enticing.



KingChaosNinja
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 25 Apr 2005
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 489
Location: Pittsburgh

31 Aug 2008, 1:32 am

NeantHumain wrote:
nekowafer wrote:
Everyone has different views, so it's very possible that she found something offensive in what you did, or what she did. It could have been the tiniest thing that you'd never notice, it's hard to know unless you were to ask.

She thought her friend was making "obnoxious" and "embarrassing" sexual dialogue. I found it enticing.


Well it sounds like you were doing what you were supposed to. I can never get girls to make blatant advances on me, and if they do I'm not paying attention.


_________________
"No matter how many instances of white swans we see, we must never assume that all swans are white." ~Sir Karl Popper


*I picked this username 4 years ago when I was in high school. Don't hold it against me.


NeantHumain
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jun 2004
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,837
Location: St. Louis, Missouri

31 Aug 2008, 1:33 am

sinsboldly wrote:
NeantHumain wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
NeantHumain wrote:
Her friend was the one hitting on me, so it's obvious I'd be paying more attention to her. She should expect a single guy to become interested in someone who's making lascivious comments.


that might be why the friend was annoyed. Maybe she was watching inappropriate behaviour and was not pleased that her friend was exhibiting it.

One woman's inappropriate is another man's just-what-the-doctor-ordered. I didn't find it inappropriate.


I am not talking about how YOU viewed the interchange.
That is irrelevant to the situation. The question was, why did the FRIEND have a bee in her bonnet about you chatting up her friend. I was saying you are not the one that was disturbed by the direction the conversation was going, the girl's friend was!

Why should she care what's going on between her friend and me?



nekowafer
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jun 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 440

31 Aug 2008, 1:58 am

It's her friend. It's just as I said.. girls can be very protective, and overprotective, of their friends. It's just how things go. So if you two were making comments the friend didn't like, and you can see what she may not have liked(even if you think it's silly for her to care) then you have it all figured out. She could also have been offended that you two would talk like that in front of her. Who knows.

Either way, you now have the reason.


_________________
"Everything counts in large amounts."


Cyberman
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Apr 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,736
Location: hibernating

31 Aug 2008, 2:14 am

Terrific. Yet another silly obstacle to worry about when trying to approach someone. :roll:



sinsboldly
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon

31 Aug 2008, 2:15 am

and I am not being Ms Manners. . I am simply trying to give you insight as to how the FRIEND might have seen it. SHE might had seen it as inapprorpriate and reacted negatively.

there are people here that are only trying to answer your question by looking at it from another point of view.

Merle


_________________
Alis volat propriis
State Motto of Oregon


sinsboldly
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon

31 Aug 2008, 2:30 am

Cyberman wrote:
Terrific. Yet another silly obstacle to worry about when trying to approach someone. :roll:


well,if you don't factor it in, it will be an obstacle. This is why you learn, so you will avoid having an issue with the friend.


_________________
Alis volat propriis
State Motto of Oregon


yesplease
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Dec 2006
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 517

31 Aug 2008, 2:36 am

Some people get irritated if they feel they're being ignored. Especially for something fleeting like a fling. People simply have certain expectations regarding how their friends should act in different situations.



nautilus_
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 22 Aug 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 18

31 Aug 2008, 11:16 am

NeantHumain wrote:
She thought her friend was making "obnoxious" and "embarrassing" sexual dialogue. I found it enticing.

...and that may have been the problem right there > you probably don't know this girl as well as her friend does, and I think it's possible that this girl just has a cheeky and provocative conversational style and sense of humur, and she was not meaning the things she was saying, nor noticing your interpretation of them. Maybe the friend knew this and noticed that you were 'enticed' by her comments(taking them more seriously than they were meant) and wanted to get you away before misinterpretations caused a big problem.

(Sometimes, when I was younger, I would be sexually blunt with certain young men and make alot of very cheeky sexual jokes, not realizing at all how men interpreted these comments or what it did to them. I was also sometimes told that I was flirting, when I had no intention of doing so - I just was trying to be nice and friendly. Could the girl be like that too?)



0_equals_true
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Apr 2007
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,038
Location: London

31 Aug 2008, 12:25 pm

Basically in this situation I would do the opposite of what you might think. Just continue trying to be friendly. Not that I know it would work, but might be a learning experience. Probably not very helpful, as I don't really know how, but try not to be too creepy.



NeantHumain
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jun 2004
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,837
Location: St. Louis, Missouri

31 Aug 2008, 12:39 pm

0_equals_true wrote:
Basically in this situation I would do the opposite of what you might think. Just continue trying to be friendly. Not that I know it would work, but might be a learning experience. Probably not very helpful, as I don't really know how, but try not to be too creepy.

The girl was making most of the provocative sexual comments; I was just agreeing/going along, so I obviously couldn't have been creeping her out.



nekowafer
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jun 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 440

31 Aug 2008, 2:14 pm

I agree with nautilus' idea, I tried to say something like that but could not get the wording right, so I gave up. But it makes sense to me.


_________________
"Everything counts in large amounts."