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Joined: 21 Sep 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 662
Location: melb,Australia

17 Sep 2008, 4:02 pm

I need help with formulating two social stories. Here's the situations;

1st; J (9yrs old AS) had been playing one of his scripted games with another aspie little boy, they had been having a great time following J's script. The other little boy remembered he had something else he could play with, so he left J's game to pursue his new interest. J was not happy. He wanted this boy to be told to come back, he was told no, J's response to no was that he hadn't finished playing with him and that this boy hadn't asked his permission to leave.

2nd; My sister and I had taken J to the local shopping center, whilst we were there I bought J a piano/organ keyboard. My sister commented to J that it was nearly her 4year old sons birthday, perhaps he (J) could play some music for his cousin on his birthday. J responded in a sing song voice "Yeah you suck you suck you suck" then he walked off. As you could imagine my sister wasn't impressed. I tried to explain to J that what he'd said wasnt nice, J's response was "but it's the trueth", I explain his aunty was upset that he had said not so nice things about her little boy in front of her, J's response"well she should know that he sucks,and he does this to me and that to me, and he is naughty". I then tried to reverse it and put myself and J in my sister and my nephews place and I asked him how he thought I would feel if someone said that about him, J's response "you would be upset, but I wouldn't, cause I don't like him, I don't care." My nephew loves J, he is always asking after him, he follows him around every where, but he is very rough and he has grown up with an adult brother and sister so he is very clued in. J takes every thing that my nephew does to him even accidental stuff as deliberate (cant spell sorry) and personal attacks.

I need help, explaining to J that kids are allowed to leave his games to pursue their own interests and that they don't have to ask his permission. And I need to get across to him that people don't like it and its not ok to say not so nice stuff about others, I think he does need to understand that everyone has those feelings from time to time, but they need to be kept in his head or reserved for private talks with just mum.

So if any of you very wise people could help me write some social stories that would be fantastic. :D


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Joined: 21 May 2006
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,515
Location: ireland

17 Sep 2008, 5:12 pm

ok numerous issues here.

first of all, J is acting normal for someone with AS.
so his behaviour is normal for him, althou you are right to allow him the knowledge through stories to adapt to non As ways, remember if you get into a battle of wills with a nine year old AS you will lose.
if you try to "normalise" him , you will lose.
gentle cajoling and assistance/ i say this as an AS and a father to a 7 yo AS boy.

AS people/children tend to have a linear ideation. so B follows A, while this is easy for you to understand, what you may not be aware of is, for most AS when they start the alphabet, they have to finish it.
you cant just say " A,B, C,D, E, F" and then get distracted and say somethign else.
you need to finish this alphabet song before anything else can be done.

it leaves some AS with a feeling of incompleteness, and a sudden interuption to a routine or establshed pattern is met with resistance and frujstration.

i can understand that in J's mind the boy left in the middle of an incomplete task. the task must be finished it was scripoted for two, it had begun, it must be finished.
there are rules to a scripted scenario and the other boy was "wrong" to leave and it was AS normal for J to query this behaviour.

when you understand this and can accept that this is normal behaviour for J you also need to teach him what is normal in a non As world.


tell him, not explain just tell him thats what the other boy can do, and is entitled to do.

for the second story try this: explain a scenario where someone is accurate, precise and always truthfull but never right.

try telling him how a person who is involved in a minor car collision with a pedestrian, who is registered, insured, driving under the speed limit on the right side of the road, doing everythign legal and right, but still hits a pedestrian and kills them.

the driver didnt do anythign wrong, they can succesffuly argue in court that they are right, they are truthfull, accurate correct honest and legal.
yet they were involved in an accident and killed someone.
the usual response would be yes, im right and i dont care someone died but i didnt do anything wrong.

then explain to him ...what if that person that was hit was mommy?

wait for his answer, dont prompt or interrupt him let him think about it.

it will allow them to see that no matter how accurate and truthfull an AS mindset is rarely the right one to have and if he receives the story well it will allow him to learn the differenc ebetween what is right in his head and what is right in the real world.

hope this works , hope this helps.

a great civilisation cannot be conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within- W. Durant