is aspergers a conscious condition?

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Hey im new, and unfortunately due to my schedule an habits i havent had time to properly search and for that i apologize, but i have a question that has been eating at me.

first as a bit of background, i9 have never been diagnosed with aspergers or autism as far as i know, only depression and such, but after 30 years of a most bizarre life experience i found myself seriosuly trying to figure out what was wrong with me... short version of the story, i googled "loner" and ended at aspergers syndrome. the description and symptoms of aspergers left me as well as my mother quite shocked. it felt to me as though someone had followed me around all my life and then wrote a lil synopsis of my personlaity and habits. unfortunately im horribly unmotivated and work 6 days a week without much option of time off so i cannot readily see an actual doctor regarding any of this, and to be honest i really dont think itll make any difference, however something has been eating at me. the myriad of symptoms that describe aspergers are things i do and experience constantly, but even while whatever experience is taking place im horribly aware of how awkward i am and how these different symptoms are manifesting themselves. for quite some time i believed everyone was like that but this apparantly isnt the case. ultimately my question is -

Is it normal to be a passenger while u watch yourself fall into the routines an patterns of aspergers?

is aspergers something people become self aware of or is it something other people notice and point out? i seem to be able to fake my way thru most aspects of day to day life fairly flawlessly as far as the outside world is concerned (mind u my exposure to other humans is down to under an hour a day at this point). as a result no one ever pointed out to me any of the repitition or obsessive focus or odd behavious or stupid voices or any of the other bizarre crap that shadows me around.

i hope for all your sake its not normal an most are blissfully unaware

i wish i had time to go into more detail but there are simply not enough hours in a day. nice to meet yaz