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stimpysuzie
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

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Joined: 26 Dec 2007
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 96
Location: Not where I want to be

24 Sep 2008, 6:33 pm

So my spouses dog is being "put to sleep" next Wednesday and she is very sad at this news.
We have known for sometime it was going to happen but it still doesn't make it better for her.

The only thing I am having trouble with in this situation is showing emotion. It's painful for me, this happening, but in a different way.
I certainly don't want to appear cold or callous but that is how I usually come off in crisis mode.
My logical thinking does not do me any favours.
Today we saw a squirrel get run over but not fully. She freaked whilst driving and all I could say is "I am not in the mood for this today"
What I was trying to say is "la la la la I am not hearing her cry la la la"

What I am asking is for a bit of help as to how to deal with this and not have it escalating into a fight when the subject is broached about her dog.
Any suggestions would be much appreciated

Later Later



madderakka
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: 22 Aug 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 73

24 Sep 2008, 11:00 pm

"I'm so sorry honey, is there anything I can do?" She may like this site bridge
Can you rehearse phrases ahead of time to say in stressful situations so that it doesn't escalate?



Saffy
Sea Gull
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Joined: 14 Sep 2008
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 230
Location: New Zealand

24 Sep 2008, 11:15 pm

Buy her some flowers give them to her and say...
"I know this is really hard for you, just let me know what I can do to help, I may not always know what to say, but I'm here.... "



stimpysuzie
Blue Jay
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Joined: 26 Dec 2007
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 96
Location: Not where I want to be

25 Sep 2008, 12:55 pm

I just found out that Duffy is being put to sleep tomorrow but the missus doesn't know yet. Duffy lives with Mom in Law as we work full time.
I have just rang my Father in law to come home and help me break the news as I know the missus will need support.
I am nervous and scared to be honest.

Further to a comment I received elsewhere, I am for the record one sensitive girly and I was not in anyway being rude in my remarks about the squirrel. I get scared by emotion and the missus knows this. So to judge without knowing me personally and not do it on the forum is below the belt.
Got something to say, let everyone read it.

I gotta go and be the rock for her and it will break my heart, heck I just found out an hour ago that a friend and his wife lost a baby in the first trimester.
I am saddened today, very saddened.

Let this cloud have a silver lining.

Thank you guys for your suggestions. I will read them again when I can focus.
Right now I am debating whether to go for a walk first, but I know I will just keep wallking with the music flowing through my ears.

Later Later
:shaking:



beentheredonethat
Grouchy Old Man

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Joined: 31 Oct 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 703

27 Sep 2008, 11:10 pm

I had to have a cat put to sleep. It upset me so badly for 2 or 3 weeks that my wife finally said "I know it'll be hard to replace the one you lost, but let's try." The "replacement" has now been with us for 18 years, and I'm beginning to dread what's going to happen to her, but all you can do is ask your wife if she wants (and most vets have the option available) to have a funeral at a pet cemetary. The animal is a family member, afterall. I'm saying do it in a concerned way. If she starts yelling at you, remember, she is sad, frustrated, angry at the God who took her animal from her....and that needs some place to go. If you're married to her, you're elected. Hard as it is to take it, you'll just have to, and to figure out something soothing to say in the bargin. I doubt it will be lost on her.

Good luck.
btdt