Doctor swears at woman who has been in labor 3 days

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patternist
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26 Sep 2008, 3:12 pm

If I had gone to a midwife instead of a very astute doctor, or even went to a less astute doctor, my child would probably not be alive right now.

I am thankful for the medical care we received, and I am thankful for the school system also.

Those who home-birth and who home-school...they must be much stronger than I, and with greater resources. Financially, psychologically, maybe even morally. Some people just aren't teachers. I would hate to feel pressured to homeschool knowing I just don't have it in me.



Justthatgirl11
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26 Sep 2008, 4:31 pm

patternist wrote:
If I had gone to a midwife instead of a very astute doctor, or even went to a less astute doctor, my child would probably not be alive right now.


Every family needs to make the choice that is best for them.

If my child or I was in danger at any time, my midwives would have had us at a hospital within minutes. Midwives are highly skilled and trained extensively in their profession. They're not clueless.

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I am thankful for the medical care we received, and I am thankful for the school system also.


Me too. The medical community has served us well and this school district has been great.

We home schooled our oldest (undx'd aspie at the time) when he was in kinder because his teacher, principal, and even the superintendent were infuriatingly STUPID. Once we moved school districts we re-enrolled him in public and have had great success ever since.


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Those who home-birth and who home-school...they must be much stronger than I, and with greater resources. Financially, psychologically, maybe even morally. Some people just aren't teachers. I would hate to feel pressured to homeschool knowing I just don't have it in me.


I can speak for homebirthing only: Stronger? I don't know... hospitals freak me out. I homebirthed because my hospital experience was terrifying. I don't have any health conditions that warrant being closely watched or care by a specialist, so I am a fine candidate for hb. Financially: It was under $2K for my first hb and $2500 for my 2nd. Cheaper than what I would pay for a hospital with or without insurance. And care was personalized -- I wasn't in there for 15 or 20 min and sent on my way. I spent an hour w/ my midwives.

As for homeschooling: Ugh. If I HAVE to, I can, but it is NOT what I want and I much prefer to have my kidsi n public school.


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Rebecca_L
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29 Sep 2008, 8:10 pm

My grandmother was a practicing midwife for years. Homebirths, for women who are not known to be at risk for complications, is a fine method of childbirth. It allows for a more relaxed and personal experience. It also gives you the undivided attention of your birthing professional. I wish that I could have gone the homebirth route but I have a delayed clotting factor that made my risk factor too high.



slowmutant
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29 Sep 2008, 8:38 pm

Homebirth isn't always suitable, just as homeschooling isn't always suitable. As far as birthing goes, wouldn't you feel more secure in a hospital setting with full resources to address any complications?



Justthatgirl11
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29 Sep 2008, 9:03 pm

slowmutant wrote:
Homebirth isn't always suitable, just as homeschooling isn't always suitable. As far as birthing goes, wouldn't you feel more secure in a hospital setting with full resources to address any complications?


Not me. Doctors (in general, and I'm speaking in the most positive light) have a need to be in control in whatever manner when really all that's in control with the birthing process is the human body. They tend to treat birth as something that needs to be fixed. It's not broken.


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slowmutant
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29 Sep 2008, 9:08 pm

Justthatgirl11 wrote:
slowmutant wrote:
Homebirth isn't always suitable, just as homeschooling isn't always suitable. As far as birthing goes, wouldn't you feel more secure in a hospital setting with full resources to address any complications?


Not me. Doctors (in general, and I'm speaking in the most positive light) have a need to be in control in whatever manner when really all that's in control with the birthing process is the human body. They tend to treat birth as something that needs to be fixed. It's not broken.


But it could be. It could quickly become "broken." Is it unreasonable for doctors to want to be in control?

It's a female bravado that says, "Hey look Ma, no hospital! No drugs!"



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29 Sep 2008, 9:28 pm

It's not female bravado; it's wanting to be unbothered by unnecessary, oftentimes complication-causing, routine interventions--the kind that can make even the most normal birth living hell x2. The rate of c-sections is skyrocketing around the world because doctors are busy, birth is scary and precise decision-making is difficult because even with all their gadgets, you still can't be sure how things will turn out, so doctors (and many mothers) consider it "safer" and more controllable to do a c-section. Still, in the end, maybe the birth would've/could've gotten better and finished in the natural way. The good thing about midwives is that they know and have the patience to try out (doctors are too busy) alternative, non-surgical methods of fixing common problems, like positioning. Doctors' expertise is in the more complicated things, but they don't usually incorporate (or sometimes even appreciate simple, non-invasive techniques). The solution is really in a combination of the two, I don't know how common these are now, but some hospitals have birthing rooms that are made to be as comfortable as a home and you are attended by a midwife unless there are complications, and because it's in a hospital, the doctor is close enough to help quickly. For a good, safe homebirth, you would need a qualified midwife, lack of significant risk factors, and an ambulance waiting to whisk you to hospital if necessary. Most people around the world are not so privileged as to have such perfect conditions.

It was my dream, but alas, it was not my destiny. Ditto on the homeschooling.

As for the OP, sounds like privilege gone wild. People need to get a hold on what they consider failure. He apologized. Get over it.



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29 Sep 2008, 10:47 pm

Justthatgirl11 wrote:
slowmutant wrote:
Is the homebirthing lobby also the homeschooling lobby?


What?

Just because I homebirth does not mean I home school.


If I have kids, I will both home birth and homeschool. I think is is unnatural the way things are done now. (Birth wise I mean).



Justthatgirl11
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29 Sep 2008, 11:37 pm

Justthatgirl11 wrote:
slowmutant wrote:
Homebirth isn't always suitable, just as homeschooling isn't always suitable. As far as birthing goes, wouldn't you feel more secure in a hospital setting with full resources to address any complications?


Not me. Doctors (in general, and I'm speaking in the most positive light) have a need to be in control in whatever manner when really all that's in control with the birthing process is the human body. They tend to treat birth as something that needs to be fixed. It's not broken.


slowmutant wrote:
But it could be. It could quickly become "broken." Is it unreasonable for doctors to want to be in control?


But it's NOT right now and it's NOT for me. Therefore, why screw with it?

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It's a female bravado that says, "Hey look Ma, no hospital! No drugs!"


The hell it is. It's called a woman knowing her body is not broken and does not need unnecessary interference. I don't need some idiot that met me 5 minutes ago telling me what MY body is doing and what MY body needs and how THEY can "fix" it. They can't -- I AM NOT BROKEN.

There are women who prefer to birth in hospitals and those that SHOULD birth in hospitals. By all means, go for it. You must do what you feel is safest FOR YOU.

This has ZERO to do with "female bravado" and 100% to do with MY PERSONAL SAFETY and that of MY CHILD.

Doctors screw it up for me.


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29 Sep 2008, 11:49 pm

A side story: My mother ended up having an emergency C-section with me. I was late, she was in labor for over 24 hours, most of which was induced (she stopped natural contractions very early on), and she had two epidurmals as well. I don't seem to recall her dying or being permantly scarred when a nurse made a snarky comment about how she was still there that morning. Well, she told me she wanted to smack her, but that's my mother for you anyhow. Still no mental anguish over it though.

I think the woman in this case is just being a drama queen. She complained, he admitted to being out of line, he resigned. That should be enough. Dragging it out and getting the press and courts involved... :roll: Find a hobby or something.


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30 Sep 2008, 2:30 pm

Nothing wrong with homebirth, though medical types do prefer that first children be born in hospital. At least with an arranged homebirth you are assured a midwife. They have an unnerving tendency to bugger off mid-birth in hospitals. (Assumably because they are attending other births.)


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01 Oct 2008, 10:08 pm

I think that Dr deserved to be reprimanded and got off easy at that. When my girl was born I felt like I hadn't slept for weeks and was in labor a day before she finally came out 8O Not to mention the emotional rollercoaster women are on as their body makes the shift from pregnancy to post.

Granted she may have been a bit oversensitive, but put in a position like that I would've wanted to smack him. And hope my husband didn't deck him first :wink:

Oh yeah and I was in labor with no drugs yet (thank the Lord for delivery drugs) and I had some idiot nurse wanting us to answer some questions about our home ect that had not been properly filled out before. I thought my husband was going to forcibly throw her out after loosing patience with the idiocy of it and her attitude.

I know a good many are educated and experienced professionals, but when they've had a lapse like that they need to be called on it IMHO



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01 Oct 2008, 11:54 pm

ShadesOfMe wrote:
Justthatgirl11 wrote:
slowmutant wrote:
Is the homebirthing lobby also the homeschooling lobby?


What?

Just because I homebirth does not mean I home school.


If I have kids, I will both home birth and homeschool. I think is is unnatural the way things are done now. (Birth wise I mean).


Will the children be allowed out of the house?



Justthatgirl11
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02 Oct 2008, 6:35 am

slowmutant wrote:
ShadesOfMe wrote:
Justthatgirl11 wrote:
slowmutant wrote:
Is the homebirthing lobby also the homeschooling lobby?


What?

Just because I homebirth does not mean I home school.


If I have kids, I will both home birth and homeschool. I think is is unnatural the way things are done now. (Birth wise I mean).


Will the children be allowed out of the house?


That's really rude. :roll:


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patternist
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02 Oct 2008, 10:04 am

Justthatgirl11 wrote:
slowmutant wrote:
ShadesOfMe wrote:
Justthatgirl11 wrote:
slowmutant wrote:
Is the homebirthing lobby also the homeschooling lobby?


What?

Just because I homebirth does not mean I home school.


If I have kids, I will both home birth and homeschool. I think is is unnatural the way things are done now. (Birth wise I mean).


Will the children be allowed out of the house?


That's really rude. :roll:


Rude, yes, but also funny. Slowmutant can really dish it out. I don't think it's anything personal.