Do some women like submissive men?

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Tim_Tex
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11 Oct 2008, 5:16 pm

I am indifferent in this regard, but I wouldn't want someone who was controlling.

My last girlfriend insisted on having the final say on everything, and that's what destroyed the relationship.

She wanted to wait FIVE YEARS before being intimate. And she and I had been together for three years when she said that.


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oli234
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14 Oct 2008, 2:05 pm

I remember reading somewhere that a few thousand years ago, when civilization was just getting started, that the two main powers in the world were Crete and Syria.

And that the society on Crete was a matriarchy and Syria a patriarchy. So Crete had female rulers and men were expected to be more submissive than women and Syria the opposite. So it was up in the air as to witch would become the major power and whose ideas would spread.

Then there was a volcano and Cretion (I think I just made that word up) society was destroyed and so Syria became the sole major power.

I'm not entirely sure how true that is as it's just something I sorta remember reading a long time ago. But still I wonder if things would have been different if things had gone the other way.



Eggman
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14 Oct 2008, 2:58 pm

yes



Rocker82
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25 Apr 2009, 8:09 pm

Good topic of women who like submissive men.In Japanese anime/manga of Dragon Ball,Son Goku is one tough fighter,but he is afraid of his wife Chi Chi!Here is one guy who is submissive to his wife.



winwin
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05 Jul 2009, 8:52 pm

In my expericene and observation, women like challenge which means they like alpha men. Being dubbed the "Alpha" in the relationship, implies that the other person is weaker, and the "Beta" or like term obviously has a negative conitation. Nobody wants to be known as weak! Don't get stuck on these terms.

The truth is that people fall into patterns, and in general only one partner asserts themselves the majority of time because there needs to be one chief (i.e. Alpha) in order for things to run smoothly. Women by nature want a man to be the chief. Woman confuse the situation because some want to be in control just for the challange of it (As I said before, women love challange). If you allow a woman to be in control, she eventual will get bored and want a another challange. A challange means that women are looking for a man to call some of the shots. A challange is something unexpected...i.e. something that the woman did not plan or control. For example, the man plans a trip and explains to the woman that they are going on the trip...where and when they will be going...or...plans and then tells the wife he would like to take her to dinner. Bottom line...the man is making plans WITH the woman's approval and pleasantly surprises her (i.e. Challange).

I'm not saying that a man should spend a lot of money or plan time off without the wife's approval. The man should simply "challange" the status quo by initiating activities.

I have observed many relationships end when the man just sits back and waits for the woman to plan and do everything because woman get tired of planning everything. Good luck if you plan to go against their desire for challange...it may last a few years if you let the wife plan things, but woman are not built to play this role the whole time. If you let the woman plan eveything, the man will fall into a "Beta" pattern, and then the woman loses respect for the man and divorce and affairs will occur.

In summary and simply put into a sentence, the man needs to take the INITIATIVE to make plans and decisions in order to keep the relationship going. Don't get stuck on the terms of Alpha, Beta, Omega, whatever. The goal is to be always challanging the relationship to move FORWARD! Men, fall into a "Beta" pattern with a woman and see what happens over time.

Man Planning + Man Initiating = Challange = Happy Relationship (Degree or percentage of time a man must present challange varies by woman)

Man/Woman Planning Too Much + Man/Woman Initiating Too Much = No Challange = Unhappy Relationship

One other point. Men who "keep the peace" by backing down when they believe in something is unhealthy. Anyone (man or woman) that backs down on something they believe in is not attractive. That being said, a man who keeps the peace by backing down on a 50/50 type situation is acceptable. A 100% "Beta" personality is not attractive...It is in the relationship's best interest for neither partner to fall into this pattern...problem is that falling into a strongly skewed pattern over time is in our nature...both people need to work on the relationship to keep acceptable challange.

Class dismissed. Good Luck!



Last edited by winwin on 05 Jul 2009, 10:09 pm, edited 9 times in total.

GhostsInTheWallpaper
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05 Jul 2009, 9:35 pm

It's hard to imagine anyone wanting to date anyone who shows no desires or preferences other than what the partner wants. Such a relationship would not seem like a relationship at all.

That said, I (a neurotypical woman) have no problem with what some would describe as submissive, beta, or "wussy" guys. I have one, and I like wearing the pants in my relationship. He does express desires and fears, usually directly but occasionally kind of passive-aggressively, but if there's a conflict of desires, he backs down a lot to keep the peace. I sometimes feel a bit selfish and bossy, but I don't know if I could do a relationship any other way, because I cannot stand a partner demanding too much of me. I think I'd sooner ditch a guy who was too pushy and controlling than a guy who was too spineless and passive.


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SilverStar
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05 Jul 2009, 11:20 pm

Out of the few women I have spent time with, they all seemed to want a more "take control" kind of guy. By that, I mean they want the guy to do the driving, initiate phone calls, pick which restaurant to eat at, take control in the bedroom, etc. They were plenty capable of making their own decisions, but they were more comfortable with the guy leading the way in those situations. So in a way, they were being at least partially submissive. I think this is where Aspie guys fall short at, because they are also submissive/passive in those situations, and this turns a lot of women off.

If there's one think I have learned about women, is that most don't like being pressured, or put on the spot, and this is one of those things that put's them on the spot.

Like was said before though, there are a few dominant women out there, if you look hard enough, and the passive/submissive Aspie guys would probably get along better with those types.



CerebralDreamer
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06 Jul 2009, 8:29 am

When I saw this topic the first thought that came to mind was "Saving Silverman." Now if you want to see a dominant woman, and a submissive man, that's a pretty clear example right there. Admittedly, it was a movie, but I'm sure that some women out there are just insane control freaks. Submissive men keep them from losing that control.